Programmer jokes

A programmer's wife sends him to the grocery store. She tells him, "We need one loaf of bread. And if they have eggs, get a half dozen."

He returns with six loaves of bread. She got mad at him and he said, "What! They had eggs."

 

MIND = BLOWN

error attempt to perform arithmetic on global 'BLOWN' (a nil value)

 

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary code and those who don't.

 

- To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
- Unix is user friendly. It is just particular about who its friends are.
- Do not anthropomorphize computers. They hate that.

愛

 

This isn't a joke, but it's a real story:

While I was at the University of Victoria, I didn't have a car, so I took the bus everywhere. One day, I was on the bus, and a mother was trying to teach her young daughter about courtesy. "Alright, we're about to get off the bus, so we want to thank the bus driver. Say thank you to the bus driver." At which point the daughter piped up and in the cutest voice, said "Thank you to the bus driver!" before they both stepped off.

I know what she's doing when she grows up. :3

 

var(Jokeisfunny)=true
if Jokeisfunny=true
(console.log("laugh now"))

I think this code is correct, it's been a while.

 

How many people can read hex if only you and DEAD people read hex?

Spoiler

DEAE, of course

---------- Post added 8th Jan 2015 at 10:04 PM ----------

Endless Loop - See Loop, Endless
Loop, Endless - See Endless Loop

 

I just bake chocolate mint cookies so I will post here.

 

My cookies

 

This is why some programmer take so long to come up with jokes.

During sex some programmer can't untie panty strings. Why?

Because they have a hard time computing Into her into a string.

 

There are 3 types of errors:
syntax errors and off by one errors

 

epic :d (!)

---------- Post added 9th Jan 2015 at 10:43 AM ----------

no root permissions thu

 

here is an interactive javascript program that can tell you whether or not your joke is funny.

var j=prompt("Enter Joke");
function jokeIsFunnyTest(j)
{
var funny=0;
if (funny===0)
{
alert("This joke: (" +j+") is NOT funny");}
else
{alert("This joke is ("+j") HILARIOUS");}
}
jokeIsFunnyTest(j);