I find myself in this situation a lot. I'll come out to someone (who I know quite well and KNOW is not homophobic) and they'll basically think I'm joking. Most of the time this happens when I casually slip it into conversation (eg. "that's when I knew I was gay"). I don't know...I usually avoid doing the whole "I need to tell you something, sit down, etc" thing when coming out because I don't think it should be a huge deal. Maybe it's because I don't fit the "lesbian stereotype" or because I've never dated a girl but whatever...it's so frustrating and disheartening. Has this happened to you? How do you handle it? Try and tell super seriously and make sure they GET it? Or kind of withdraw and don't bring it up again because it's too nerve-wracking/effortful coming out twice? (this is what I do...sigh...) As for me...do you think I should just come out the "serious" way every time? I feel like that's my only option but I'd really rather not.
I don't know if it's happened to me because I didn't know if they thought I was joking or not. I was specifically asked if I liked girls or boys and I said boys. I acted serious about it but I'm not sure if they took me seriously, thought I was joking, or are wondering if I was serious. I agree with you that you don't have to sit people down and tell them you're gay. I don't plan on ever doing that. Maybe my parents won't know until I get a boyfriend. I think you should just keep doing what you're doing and I will keep doing what I'm doing. Eventually they're going to have to start wondering if you're genuinely gay. You have to keep answering honestly and they will eventually figure it out. They might ask you questions like "Are you lesbian? Like, for real?" when it's getting through.
I think that once you tell someone, you can breathe that sigh of relief and know that you have come out to them. then you just go about living your life. Then whenever they say something stupid that indicates that they didn't get it, like "isn't that guy hot?", you can just respond "girl, I told you that I'm gay, duh!" or words to that effect. Once you've come out to someone, you've come out, and you can just go about live you happy life
Hm, yeah, usually when I come out to people they're like, "Seriously!? For real!?" But after I confirm it they don't seem to doubt me. I don't think coming out the "serious" way would necessarily make them believe you.
This happens to me quite often. I tend to just keep going with it and try to make it more obvious. When people ask if I'm serious, I then say yes and bring up the jokes like straight as a circle and such. I also tell them that I always have been and I always will be. I agree though that it shouldn't be a big deal.
I think that's a good one... Its called femme invisibility. Just be prepared to come out often... simply because you do not fit the stereotype. You might think about rainbow accessoires... like a bracelet... to meet other lgbt people more easily... and you could show it while coming out and say: see ? (*hug*)
It's happened to me as well. It gave my friend a good laugh, and after a couple days he took it seriously that I was into other guys.
I guess it's not a huge deal if I can't get it through to my friends the first time...they would know eventually, that's true. Still, this whole femme invisibility thing is quite frustrating when it means people don't take how I identify seriously :S It makes me feel isolated in the LGBT+ community too because, from my experience in LGBT-catered societies or events, people just /assume/ I'm straight or "confused" because of how I look. I wish people would at least ask "are you serious?" so I could confirm it haha.. they don't even do that. It's like I'll drop multiple hints to a friend that I am gay and in the next conversation they'll say something like "in 10 years I can totally see you marrying *insert male friend's name here*" O_O
Well that's an easy one to follow up "In ten years time, I don't see myself as any less gay than I am right now, so it's unlikely". Or "but he's not a woman". Either works. Just be yourself. If they don't get it straight away then when you bring round your next girlfriend they probably will x
Some people may be in denial and don't want to accept what you tell them. I suspect that since experimentation is much more common when we are young, other people may not accept what you say, thinking that you may not be done "experimenting!" Ever heard the old joke about the LUGS in school, "Lesbian Until Graduation?" Just keep doing what you're doing, the others will eventually catch up to you!
So I'm not sure if this fits exactly what you're talking about, but I was forced to come out as pan to my aunt because she saw a conversation about sexual orientations I had with my friend on my phone that I forgot to delete, and she didn't understand and wrote it off as being bi. That's about as close as I've come to not being taken seriously, other than my mom telling me she thought it was "hilarious" that I identify as pan.
Ah yes, good point! I always feel like this is the case with some people even if they don't say it explicitly. I graduate in a couple years...maybe then people will be more convinced haha (provided I'm still single by then....urhgh) I was more saying that people don't believe me rather than find it funny. Though that's not very nice of your mom
ouch!!! your mom has a weird sense of humor. did you respond that you think that it droll that she is hetero?
