I just don't know how to tell her I'm moving out I want to but the house is so peaceful for the first time and I don't want to break that mood so I'm scared because I don't know how she's going to react . :icon_sad:
When I was staying with my dad for a while then had to leave in a hurry because he started getting (more) dangerous, I had to leave without saying anything because he would have tried to stop me. So when he was out I took as many of my essential things (I had to leave most stuff behind) as I could and left, with the assistance of a friend and her car. So if you're worried she might get nasty you could wait till you know she will be gone for a few hours and take your stuff out then. Maybe leave her a note to explain you have moved out. It might sound harsh, in most cases this would seem like a horribly cold way to leave someone, but frankly having heard about your mother and how she treats you, you don't owe her anything really and safety comes first. Hope the move goes well. (*hug*)
I did it the hard way by not telling my parents I was moving out of town until after I left. They would of just freaked out cause I was ending my job and had no job lined up and was leaving with a boyfriend they did not approve of. I know it is uncool and somewhat cruel to walk out on your parents like that but sometimes you have to just do what makes you happy. They may resent you for it for a few months or a year but they will get over it in time. After you leave just send her a letter or text explaining what you did and why you did it and let it sink in. It may help too to let her contact you once she realizes you are gone and than tell her. It took a weekend for them to contact me but I don't know how long it would take your mother to contact you. It sounds horrible I know but I did it not that I wanted to hurt them but I couldn't trust them. Hope all goes well with your plans.
Agree with TigerInATophat : Safety first. You need a plan. It'll be ok, you'll see. Don't feel guilty and don't look back, I wish you the best (*hug*)
You guys are right but I'm just so worried she'll send out some cops looking for me and put on the news or something .
Even if she does try something like that, you are an adult. If you explain to the cops that you had to leave in such a way for your own safety and the nature of your mother's behaviour, they're not likely to get involved any further. If you were under 18 you might have problems but as an adult they can't drag you back to her if you leave of your own accord. When I left my dad's place he still had my number and was sending texts and calling to try and persuade me to come back or reveal my location, initially using emotional blackmail, then getting angry, finally when he wasn't getting his own way he sent a text in a last-ditch attempt saying he had the number plates of the car I left in and he would call the police and report me as kidnapped. I knew this was most likely a bluff because firstly he hates the police, they know his record. And secondly because as a legal adult I could just explain to them what was going on and why I left, which would have caused him more problems if anything by alerting them to his whereabouts and actions. I switched my phone off until I could get a new sim card (new number) and that put a stop to that. In my case going no-contact was the best option. You have to make your own choice of course, but given how toxic and manipulative she has been to you at the very least a period of no-contact might be for the best. Give you room to clear your head without her influence.
well, you're 26, so there isn't much she can do. If you can't tell her in person, you can call her, send her an email, or leave her a letter so that it doesn't look like a missing person case. I would make sure I had my place I was going to stay lined up first; then I would get my stuff and my butt out of there. and then I would use the notification means of choice. You are an adult, and she many have your terrorized a bit so that you think she can call in an airstrike on you but she really can't do anything. good luck! (&&&)
I wish you luck in your journey to your new living situation. If you are able, let us know how you are doing.
I'm doing fine I decided to move in with my cousin and in a few days I'll be looking for a job. I've also gotten help from the DVC with therapy and job search. Sadly I'm still at my mom's but I let her know in a letter that I was leaving. That's my update My dad is sad though and my mom is acting happy .
Congratulations!!! You have really got it together! That is an impressive list of achievements for one day: you found a place to live; you have a plan to find a job; and you let your parents know you're leaving, without having to bolt or sneak out!!! and it all went without the scarey drama!!! time to celebrate. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
