Fat Acceptance: Helpful or Hurtful?

I'm fat, but I don't want to be coddled and accepted for my bad eating habits. However, I do also realize that many people get bullied over weight, and I believe fat shaming is a devastating and negative thing.

 

Well they can, but the thing is not a single comment in this thread has been rude. Please do quote a response if you feel its particularly rude and explain why rather than posting like that because like I've said, nobody has been rude in the thread that I can see, at least not since you last posted. "Hinting" at it like that does come across as being quite confrontational so do bear that in mind for future posting.

You have asked for people's thoughts re fat acceptance and people have responded with their thoughts in a calm manner based on their opinion. I think you are being oversensitive on this one if you find any positions contrary to your own "rude" by default.

 

By going self experience... if you call yourself fat and unhappy about it, it is time to do somethings.

I always been a bit... hmmm according to my best friend large... not fat.. Until last year you couldn't see me with a stomach/tummy. Since I quit smoking I started to gain weight and it is really started to annoy me. Especially with knee and back problems I am having trouble with some everyday tasks like climbing stairs which I love and always do.

However I feel I am still not out of the woods of nictonie addiction... I know it is wrong but carvings become so strong I feel like scratching my eyes out so instead I eat something, chew gum or drink coffee. I am waiting for spring of 2015. I gave my body that allowance. Still trying to eat healthier snacks or drink somethings lighter than coffee. Ummm how this turned into my weight debate?

Okay back to topic. I don't care about other people's weight much, find chubby guys sexier... however I would never courage someone to get fat or stay fat if that will be uncomfortable for them.

So it is up to person if they want to stay/be fat or not. I would support them either way. Remember we only live once and don't let other's idea of perfection dictate your life.

 

Heads will roll if I come across one more skinny and decidedly unfit boy, whose diet comprises primarily chips and fatty meats, who pretends he hates fatness for its detrimental effects on health.

 

I think we should celebrate healthy practices without shunning or shaming people who are fat. If a person is engaging in healthy habits, celebrate that, wether the person is fat or not. But dont shame people for beign fat. And maybe, depending on the caseyou vould give constructive criticism to another person's health habits if the you can do it in a way that inspires without shaming the person. Otherwise you could make that person stress, with doesnt really help with being healthier.

---------- Post added 30th Dec 2014 at 04:36 AM ----------

But always positive reinforcement is better

 

I have spent many years working in the healthcare industry. This is more about personal responsibility than it is about whether heavier people are good looking. I have seen some very attractive women who carry many extra pounds. But in the United States we have this post modern attitude that a person can do whatever they want and it is nobody else's business. But the problem is that IT IS other peoples business.

If you have a health insurance plan, the premiums for that plan, which YOU pay, are based on the average usage by ALL of the participants of the plan. So yeah, YOU are helping to pay for the insulin pump of the lady in the next cubicle who developed Type II diabetes after she tipped the 300lb mark. Money is taken out of YOUR retirement plan every time your co-worker goes out for a "smoke break".

2.8 million people die each year because of obesity. WHO | 10 facts on obesity

We say that about any other medical condition and we start putting colored ribbon magnets on our cars. Cancer cells are EVIL but fat cells are pretty? They both kill.



When we talk about obesity, we need to be willing to separate the topic between looking good and living good. NOBODY looks good in a coffin.

---------- Post added 30th Dec 2014 at 08:34 AM ----------

Yes the choices we make in life do affect other people. Obesity is a direct cause of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, respiratory and skeletal issues.

For those of you interested here is an article that demonstrates that obesity is not as pretty when you look at it from the inside out.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/558180_6

 

I don't feel as though it is a matter of judging others. It is a matter of asking people to take responsibility for THEIR CHOICES. I can not choose to be gay or straight. I am gay, but I get to choose how to live my life based on that fact. I also know that my choices affect other people.

I do not care if someone decides that they are happy living with some extra weight. Everybody has a right to be happy. HOWEVER, they must be willing to pay for the consequences of those choices. As a whole, the United States healthcare is in the tank because people refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. I'm sorry, I know I sound mean and jaded, but I have worked in the health profession to long to have a naïve look on this subject.

 

There are so many really interesting points in this thread on both sides and when the wording surrounding a topic, particularly in the thread title, is very ambiguous, it can be very easy to get derailed and start discussing things that were never meant to be discussed. For example, how do you even define "fat"? Also, why does acceptance preclude promoting change? I think you can accept someone for who they are yet still suggest lifestyle changes that will benefit them in the long run. A lot of people in this thread are talking about bullying and shaming when those ideas were never really brought up by anyone. This thread is about acceptance.

Anyways, onwards to my opinions. I think you really really need to look at the underlying reasons why people gain this much weight. Obviously this thread was directed at acceptance of the morbidly obese and not at borderline fat or borderline thin or what the ideal weight of someone should be. People who reach that level of obesity rarely do so out of choice or realization, and I think if anyone who is at that level is given a psychological evaluation, you will find that not only are there underlying issues that led them to gain the weight in the first place, but that they are probably deep down not happy with their bodies. Most people use false happiness and jokes to hide this.

Shaming and bullying and being rude to these people is obviously not the answer as it is most common that a combination of depression, anxiety, and bullying is what led to the weight gain in the fist place. Genetics does play a small role in weight, but not when we get to this extreme of 500-600 lbs. At least not to a point where diet and exercise can't overcome it. On the other hand, telling someone that this is okay for their health is equally detrimental because there are mounds of evidence that point to the contrary.

So, to answer the question this thread originally posted, I think acceptance and reassurance that being this overweight is okay is probably doing more harm than good since it only enables an already dangerous downward trend in behaviour. However, while this thread is not really about how to handle the situation, I would likely bet it takes a combination of emotional, psychological and physical changes to actually be helpful and only selecting one of the those 3 will probably be useless in the long run.

Also, contrary to what others have said, I think this thread has been very respectful (compared to others I have seen), and try to focus on the point of the thread and the OPs intentions rather then changing topic to how the media forces ideal body image or underweight people (which is a totally different set of issues).

J

 

Sadly although I do agree that being fat is not anyone elses business but an individuals,
It is still proven to be detrimental to your health,
And unhealthy in the long run.

This ties in with the fact that being overweight DOES lead to more medical expenses,
So in essence you shouldn't be ashamed of being fat,
But you should not be naive to it's impact on your body,
And how you are percieved.

As much as you'd like to be accepted,
It is other peoples rights to associate with who they want to,
And to formulate their own opinions.

---------- Post added 30th Dec 2014 at 08:01 AM ----------

She has my respect as she is a human being,
But she does not have my respect in regards to her actions,
I only respect her right to live life as she would like,
Not because I respect her life decisions,
Because I do not.

 

I don't like fat. It grosses me out, and I vew it as a flaw.

That said, I'd like to add that first of all, I don't think it should matter to others what I think about overweight and obesity, just as I have a near-total disregard to what might be thought of me. I wouldn't ever discriminate anyone who was fat, nor would I ever comment on anyone's weight.
Second of all, we all have our flaws. I have lots of close friends who are overweight, my mom is – heck, even I used to be. I guess that's

//

As for "fat acceptance", whatever that is, I don't think that being fat itself should be stigmatised or celebrated. Healthy eating habits and exercise should be emphasised and people should be taught to look after and care for their bodies and well-being.
(And by fat, in this context I mean anything from E1–3 to G1–3)

Morbid obesity, on the other hand, is another matter. Tremendous overweight is substance abuse and should be treated as such, with therapy and rehabilitation.

 

Bummer.

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/558180

Maybe this will work.
BTW your friend really does have an adorable face. My personal belief is that if she would get down to a healthier weight of say 200 lbs, she would be gorgeous.( my opinion only. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.) I wish her the best of luck with the program and the long road ahead. Let her know that she is loved and prayed for.

 

Yes, that would be a hypocritical position for them to take, however I've not seen it demonstrated in this thread.

Myself? I am definitely on the thinner end with a BMI of 20 but I am also an athlete with a clean diet needed to keep a digestive condition in tack so its difficult to gain weight.

I think as robclem21 pointed out, with morbid obesity you can and do have people unaware or in denial about their size and the consequences that can have for them. That doesn't mean they are "stupid" at all, but instead suggestive that they might have a mental state preventing them seeing things rationally - a bit like with BDD. I actually think most people are unaware of their bodies until things go wrong or they receive a wake up call. We might view ourselves as slightly overweight because we once were when in fact we have moved way beyond that stage. Fat is something that can slowly escalate without us necessarily realising the extent of it.

Likewise with things like smoking. Naturally smokers realise they are smokers because its something they do all the time, yet you get many who have no idea just how many cigarettes they actually smoke until they decide to quit or sit down, start tracking their behaviour and adding them up. It reminds me of a programme we have here called Secret Eaters, where those with harmful eating disorders are often alarmingly unaware of the extent of the problem until they are visibly shown what they are consuming on one table. The point is people often underestimate bad habits and behaviours - not on purpose but its something the brain seems to like to do.

One problem with that though, that has been mentioned in the thread is the affect on others too. One thing to realise is most obese people will be heterosexual, and most heterosexual people will have children. Now statistics very clearly demonstrate that obese parents will more often than not have obese children as a result (50% of kids with a single obese parent will end up obese, and 80% with two obese parents will).

Its common sense, if a child is a. sharing the same type of foods with the parent or provided similar portions (as is very common in most family households) or b. witnesses the parent overeating or eating unhealthy foods and internally "normalizes" this habit, they will likely end up obese themselves. And thats ignoring the new research suggesting that poor diets during pregnancy might influence a baby's brain and potentially set them up for food cravings in later life. I really don't want to sound like I'm pointing the blame or making people feel guilty because I would never want that, but it is important to accept in these cases that the parent's actions (be it voluntary or not) can turn their children obese so it is not necessarily as simple as "their body, their choice".

Likewise I wasn't trying to come at this from an aesthetic or "idealist" point of view. There is definitely a lot of natural variation in healthy body sizes and shapes and that is fine (as discredited as the somatotypes are in the scientific community I do definitely think people tend to fall around those three types). Likewise people can have differing metabolic requirements - some people will naturally have low body fat whereas some will carry more fat with the same diet. I think you'd probably have people who would be unable to reach 500pounds if they tried, and similarly people unable to reach under 100pounds if they tried.

But yes, on a whole, with the exception of certain conditions like elephantiasis, super-obesity will be the result of unhealthy habits (be it caused by choice or by a psychological condition) and will not be naturally manifesting per se.

No, it is definitely not.

All the best to your friend, and fingers crossed on her application. I do have great respect for those on that show and those committing to such a beneficial change. It is not a walk in the park or an easy thing to do, and particularly with the exercise its important to realise how much harder that is made initially due to the added weight. It does take a hell of a lot of strength so again, I have a hell of a lot of respect for anyone on that journey; very inspirational.