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Welp, I made a mistake . . . but I'm only human

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Tardis221B, Dec 27, 2014.

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  1. Tardis221B

    Tardis221B
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    So I'm about 99.9% certain that I'm something along the lines of bisexual. (Whoo! clarity, it really is the closest, best fit label there is) But theres a bit of a problem. You see, I'm out as a lesbian, but I like guys too. . .

    I guess I just feel a bit guilty as I always knew that I was really bi, even when i told people i was gay. I've known for a long time, but a negative reaction i received early on when I came out as bi/les caused me to deny my attraction to men to both myself and to others so that my queerness wouldn't be invalidated. (silly I know) But now I'm out as a lesbian and falling for a guy. (who I'd never date- his friendship is too important - but thats besides the point. . . Also as time is passing I'm finding men more attractive which is odd for me . . .)

    I'm just going to take it slowly and tell people as it comes up in conversation and most importantly where/when I feel it relevant.

    I guess I'm really just posting this as a clarification to people here on EC, perhaps as a step towards coming out. . . My attractions are really subjective and highly individualized, I'm really not attracted to the gender so much as the person. (but I do seem to be attracted to people spanning the gender spectrum; and as for choosing bi versus pan, its just easier to explain bi.)
     
    #1 Tardis221B, Dec 27, 2014
  2. sheepishgirl

    sheepishgirl
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    I'd feel like a silly hypocritical tit for posting words of encouragement or anything like that, being new and closeted, but it must be great to come to such self realization. As long as you're taking the steps to be more comfortable with yourself.

    However, I gotta say I love your icon. OB fans everywhere! And choosing my favourite puppy above all! :slight_smile:
     
    #2 sheepishgirl, Dec 27, 2014
  3. Tardis221B

    Tardis221B
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    Thanks :slight_smile: And OB I just finished/started the series this break. I can't wait for season 3. (and I love your icon too :wink: )
     
    #3 Tardis221B, Dec 27, 2014
  4. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! I don't think there is any reason to feel guilty. Sometimes it can take a while before one realises all of the facets that define someone who they are. Plus, and as you have realised, life experiences can contribute to how one sees oneself, or what one wants to acknowledge about oneself.

    Revealing it slowly to others is a good way to go about it. What could help as well is to maybe hold off with trying to fit into a label because only then will you give yourself the chance to explore all of your attractions and feelings towards others freely. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Mirko, Dec 28, 2014
  5. I am Kakashi

    I am Kakashi
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    Bi erasure is super rampant even (probably MORE so) in the gay community than the straight community, so it is completely understandable. (And don't get me started on pan erasure).

    Ultimately it comes down to what you want to identify as. I'm currently considering (re)coming out as a genderfluid pansexual and most of the time I'm like "Ain't nobody got time (to explain) dat". >_<
     
    #5 I am Kakashi, Dec 30, 2014
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