My mom is pregnant.

when I lived in Egypt, a friend of mine flew to some island in the Mediterranean (part of Greece, maybe), to get in vitro. she really wanted a child, and didn't want to have any connection like that to a man. well, thoughts for another day, i guess. Happy Holidays!

 

Hmm..

Let's take a look at this.

Bookreader, I am going to assume from what you said that you are the eldest child and that "Dad" in this scenario is your step-father? I am basing this off the fact that you refer to them as half-siblings. Is your own dad not in the picture? Apologies if I haven't got the set up quite right.

I bet your parents attention has been elsewhere a lot of the time lately then? With two small children to cope with and now another one on the way.

Five and six year olds are children and expecting them to be something other than childish is asking a little much of them.

I'm going to hazard a guess that yes, they are annoying, but that really, what this boils down to is that you need your mum and want her to pay more attention to you, because you too are going through a tough time and this new baby is going to take even more of her attention away from you.

I'm a mum in a similar position to your mum, although I'm not pregnant, but I have a son who is much older than his younger siblings. It can be hard with a bigger age gap if the older of the children doesn't bond with the younger ones, because you effectively feel like you are parenting two different families at the same time. Sometimes we don't get the balance right, and sometimes we get it horribly wrong. Parents are humans and make mistakes all the time. We sometimes get our priorities wrong and we sometimes assume that as on the surface everything looks ok, then it must be, even when that's not always the case.

It's particularly difficult during the teenage stage, for you, as on one hand, you need your mum, but on the other, you also want to be the adult you are becoming, and act like you don't need them anyway. If you can't or won't be involved with the fun and care of the younger children, then you are going to struggle to breach the gap between the three of you. They won't be five or six forever, soon they will be fifteen and sixteen, and may well look to you as a then 24 year old older brother for guidance and support as they navigate the teenage years.

Sweetie, you need to talk to your mum. I bet you act all "I don't care" and try not to get under her feet, don't you? You don't need to tell her that you know she's pregnant (and vasectomy can be unreliable, so there is no reason to disbelieve her when she says it has to be your dads) but you do need to tell her that you feel a bit isolated and are going through some tough times yourself and could do with her support. If you don't tell her, she can't know.

All the stuff you are feeling about this is perfectly normal under the circumstances. You are trying to find your feet in the world and the one place you should be able to feel secure, in your home, is becoming crowded and stifling for you. Yes, there are benefits to being an only child, but there is also much to be gained from a loving and supportive group of siblings.

I know it's hard to do and I know part of you wont even want to do it because you are just fine without their help, but if you can't communicate with each other then the gap is going to get wider and wider, when with a little bravery and communication it could be a great deal smaller and you could be a great deal happier.

Hugs xxx