1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Scared as hell- coming out to best buddy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheSameRoad, Dec 22, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 2 of 3
  1. Jeff

    Jeff
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Boystown, CA, USA
    This does sound like it's going to work out ok. This person is a real friend. He might even be glad you shared something so personal, and it could take the friendship to an even stronger place. He might even have a clue.

    You need to do this the next time you two are alone and in talk mode.
     
    #21 Jeff, Dec 29, 2014
  2. arken1

    arken1
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    WA, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I agree, I think it sounds like this will go well. But I did want to say, please don't do it while you or him are driving!!!!!!!!!
     
    #22 arken1, Dec 29, 2014
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    why, what happens if you do it when you're driving? (well, I guess if you're texting it to him while you're driving, that would be bad! :roflmao:slight_smile:
     
    #23 Wildside, Dec 29, 2014
  4. AKTodd

    AKTodd
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    Would it be possible to come out to him in a letter or (if you're aiming for light and funny) a humorous card?

    It actually turns out that they make coming out cards (both to announce your coming out to someone and to congratulate someone who has come out. Not sure if ordering these online would work for your situation, but maybe you could repurpose a funny card that you could get at the store?

    Based on some of what I've seen on EC, coming out in writing can be easier for some people.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
    #24 AKTodd, Dec 29, 2014
  5. greatwhale

    greatwhale
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Say it in the first sentence, let it be the word that immediately follows "I'm...". Do it the moment you see him again, before you have time to get nervous. Literally everything else that will follow will be wayyyy easier to say!
     
    #25 greatwhale, Dec 29, 2014
  6. Tritri

    Tritri
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nebraska, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I have a feeling he already knows or at least suspects, and is waiting for you to tell him. He KNEW that you had something to tell him. Maybe when he showed you that facebook video, he was hoping you would say it then. Is this possible?
    When he was guessing the most random things, was any of them correct?
    If you seriously cannot come out like that, then act normal around him. If he starts telling you about a hot girl, say "No...". If he specifically asks if you are gay, SAY YES. Comment on guys you find attractive. He will have to at least start wondering, and then you can start to predict how he will react.
     
    #26 Tritri, Dec 29, 2014
  7. TheSameRoad

    TheSameRoad
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    MAJOR UPDATE:
    Well... I did it! I didn't go the way I was expecting tho...
    It went even better! :eusa_danc
    I actually did it while I was driving, Lol, Heck, I've never been so nervous/afraid(?) in my life
    So, long story short, it did take me about 2 hours to finally get there but hey, I did! :grin: So I was parked in front of a store and I tried to tell him for 2 hours then I gave up and just turned on the car and told him I was gonna drop him off then while on a red light he was like so you're not gonna tell me anything and I don't know how it happened but I just say yeah dude I'm gay but at that moment i wasn't nervous at all lol. Thereafter, he just kept saying "you're fucking with me.. you're not gay.. seriously?." and how that was last last thing he would of thought of me and that I don't "look gay" and whatnot. RIght after that he said the words I really needed to hear. "That's cool I respect that, you're still my sister, i mean brother" and then we laughed... He seemed to be really in shock tho, so I had do the test to make sure everything is going to be the same.. I sorta slowly touched/rubbed his shoulder and said "well, you know (barely able tohold my laughter)" and he said "oh hell no im bout to get off the car" And we both bursted out laughing. (that's our kinda of humor, iknow uh, weird :slight_smile: )
    That's when I knew everything was fine and nothing was gonna change. Meh... such a truly liberating feeling.
    He then proceeded to ask a bunch of questions and he said we got a lot to talk about, he seemed so confused i couldn't help but laugh haha. When I got home he texted me reassuring that everything was fine. :icon_bigg

    Damn, I feel so happy. Meh, this made my year- heck it made my decade haha :icon_bigg
    I would really like to thank you guys so much for all of your adivce. You all did really give me the courage I needed and probably wouldn't have been able to do it with out your guys words. Now I can happily enjoy the rest of the holiday season!
    Once again, thanks a bunch everyone! (&&&)

    Peace out
     
    #27 TheSameRoad, Dec 29, 2014
  8. greatwhale

    greatwhale
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Awesome!!! :grin:
     
    #28 greatwhale, Dec 30, 2014
  9. TheSeeker

    TheSeeker
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2012
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Up on the Canadian Border in the Rain...
    That's great man! I surprised a lot of my friends too, even my best friend growing up had no idea... Crazy times.

    I bet you feel great right now, bask in the glow!

    -TheSeeker
     
    #29 TheSeeker, Dec 30, 2014
  10. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    Hooray!!! We knew you could do it! Congratulations to you for your courage!!! And congratulations to your friend for being such a true friend and a stand up guy! :thewave:
     
    #30 Wildside, Dec 30, 2014
  11. Tritri

    Tritri
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nebraska, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Great! Are you going to change your out status?
     
    #31 Tritri, Dec 30, 2014
  12. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Such good news.
    Well done YOU
    and well done … HIM !!!!
     
    #32 bingostring, Dec 30, 2014
  13. AKTodd

    AKTodd
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    Congratulations!
     
    #33 AKTodd, Dec 30, 2014
  14. arken1

    arken1
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    WA, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Grats! At least it wasn't him driving. I just didn't want someone to get startled and wreck, obviously! :slight_smile: That sounds like it went extremely well!!!!!!!!!! :eusa_clap
     
    #34 arken1, Dec 30, 2014
  15. mbanema

    mbanema
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2014
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    MA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Congrats man! I'm glad to hear how well it went for you. Enjoy being yourself! :slight_smile:
     
    #35 mbanema, Dec 30, 2014
  16. laloski

    laloski
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2013
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern California
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Dude you had the perfect opportunity right there! But congratulations, I'm glad it eventually worked out for you.

    On a side not, your english is perfect! It took me way longer than 4 years to get to your level in english.
     
    #36 laloski, Dec 31, 2014
  17. IWICCO

    IWICCO
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2014
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    USA
    Congratulations! So happy for you!
     
    #37 IWICCO, Jan 1, 2015
  18. TheSameRoad

    TheSameRoad
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Yeah, so I didn't get a chance to see him since the day I told him until today, we were hanging out. I really couldn't notice any difference in his behavior at all so I guess he really is fine with it and everything will stay the same, we are still our crazy selves :slight_smile:

    Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, it is greatly appreciated! I hope ya'll are able to accomplish all your new year's resolutions. Life might get too rough sometimes, but in the end we gotta do what makes us happy and in the way we might lose some people, but the ones that really care about us will always stay beside us. Just something to keep in mind :wink:

    "Remember, you don't need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of." - Unknown

    Peace out
     
    #38 TheSameRoad, Jan 2, 2015
  19. cscipio

    cscipio
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City
    Grats!
     
    #39 cscipio, Jan 3, 2015
  20. raiden04

    raiden04 Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2014
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somewhere in Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So so happy for you man, congrats! :slight_smile:
     
    #40 raiden04, Jan 3, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 3