I'm going to a lesbian bar at some point over the next month and I've only gone one other time a few years ago. I have a few questions about it so I'm hoping to get some advice! I expect differing opinions, which is okay! Goal: To get more used to flirting and talking to girls. 1) What would be best to wear? a) Something tight and short that I look good in. b) Something business casual that I look good in that shows off a little skin. c) Something else entirely (explain). 2) Who would be best to bring? a) An LGBTQ friend b) A straight friend c) Doesn't matter! 3) I'm shy when it comes to girls, and I don't really know how to conduct myself. Should I: a) Try to start conversations with strangers. b) Be available for conversations but not start any. c) Something else. 4) I know I should be myself - I'm not the type to try to be something I'm not. I'm wondering, though, what is proper etiquette for talking to girls I don't know in a bar environment, so what are some suggestions? To some of you this stuff my be really obvious, but I've been with the same person since I was 16 and have basically no experience trying to meet people in bars. Thank you for any and all advice. Please feel free to share whatever information you feel would be helpful, even if it doesn't pertain to the questions I've included here.
1) B) you can wear something along those lines, as long as it looks interesting and eye catching, a short sleeved collared shirt might work. 2) C) you can bring whomever, long as the person is okay with it, and not mess up your night of fun 3) B?) don't force yourself in a situation you're not going to be comfortable with at all. it's nice that you're going out to meet and have some fun, i'd say settle yourself in one step at a time. 4) relax and have fun. don't rush into something too quick, and keep the drinking at a minimum if you want to stay level headed haha, if you want to get smashed by all means go ahead. i'm not sure how a lesbian bar might be, but i hope this helps.
Thanks, Bolt! That is helpful. You included details, which I like. Your answer to number one is very helpful! Can I befriend you?
Wear something that you would like to wear. Feel free to chat with whoever, just be sure not to bombard the entire bar, they might think you're just there for a little action. Be aware that finding someone may not happen overnight. If it does, be sure that they're wanting the same things as you whether that just be to flirt or to call the next day etc. If they're interested in talking, make sure that you seem more interested in getting to know them than talking about yourself.
Thanks, Justy, for the advice! I often think to myself how some people just want to talk and not listen as much. I definitely will be asking more questions than talking.
It's good to listen. I find that people often like being heard and it kind of knits people closer, just like laughing at someone's joke. When you laugh at someone's joke, they feel more accepted by you and they're more likely to stick around. (Just don't laugh at everything they say lol)
1) B sounds good In general I'd say wear whatever you want. You should feel comfortable and feel good in it. When you look in the mirror and think "that looks good on me" then you'll bring this feeling on the outside and others will notice that you feel good (and e.g. that's what I like when I see a woman...that she feels comfortable beeing herself in this moment) 2) Totally C. Bring whoever you want But make clear the person knows, that your intention is getting to know women. So the person shouldn't be around you all the time because this maybe will hold off people from speaking to you. It's something I know from myself. If a woman I want to talk to is in a conversation with her friends all the time I don't go over to her because I don't want to disturb or something... 3) Kinda all of them... Starting a conversation is a good thing, because a lot of girls are kinda too shy to start a conversation with strangers. It's sometimes a bit weird. So If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't push yourself into it. So If you are not sure, go with B first...Be yourself and be open for conversation. Maybe hint something with eye contact and body language so the other person you want to talk to starts and comes over to you. And C..Well, just be open to what else may happen. 4) I don't know...yeah be yourself is all I have for you at the moment. But I go with what bolt35 said. Relax and don't drink too much. Just relax, have a good time and don't chicken out about it, stay cool
