My Str8 friend... or not so straight? Help! (another one of those posts...sorry)

Apologies again for the Stupidly lengthy update I know ...
My bad guys.. You get carried away when updating via mobile lol ... As you can't see how much you've wrote lol.

 

Hey Cesar!!

You still think he's past the denial phase ?
He literally just said 'I'm not gay, I'm far from it, I like vagina'

Lol.. I took with this that he is denying gay because he actually enjoys sex with women..c but may admit to actually may be bi. As he sees them as two different orientations. So that I think is a positive . (I wouldn't be suprised if he is fully gay though) - but I'll take him Bi any day lol.

But I'm not sure if he's over denial yet. Still a little sketchy to me.

 

Another update ...

This guy has ISSUES!!!

We was working out together and as usual he was tryna talk the gay talk... I was actually ignoring him as I'm so bored of it... He keeps complaint about my shorts being too low... Saying all he can see his 'booty' and I'm just like 'really'... Then two of his random gym friends came over and he was talking to them for a while... He didn't introduce me so I just did my own thing... Then he turned round and continued talking to me... Saying something about a position.. It was to do with our workout but I didn't hear him... And then he was like 'but oh no i forgot you said your a bottom right'

And I was like 'omg ssssh' lol. Not so loud. Just kidding but making light of the fact that the convo didn't need to be so loud ahaha.

He then asked why I'm so quiet and not my usual diva self ... And I said no reason... But to be honest his friends came over to talk about girls .. Which I have no interest in... So I kept myself out.

We carried on working out.. Everything was fine , until two other friends called him over to join in on a specific workout... So I followed and took a seat assuming he was gonna lift with them... Then me and him would continue ours, as it was something I'd never seen or done before. He then asked 'why am I being lazy, get up and join in' so I did.. Then he started complaining that I was doing it wrong.... I said that's because I didn't pay attention to you , I didn't think I was joining in on This one..

He got in a huff and said just forget it...

Then said after this we're leaving...
We was still suppose to do some cardio... But he said I shouted at him so he's not in the mood... We left the gym and walked to the car...he told me he just wants to get his stuff out my car and walk home... We was also suppose to go grocery shopping after. But he was so angry.. And insisted on leaving alone and walking home in the pouring rain!

I said really? Is it that serious..

He said I was rude to his friends that tried to talk to me and i complained about the excercise and he's pissed off, because it makes him look stupid , like he can't train me

I was like... Firstly , I'd never done the excercise before, and u guys we all experienced so I felt a little embarrassed and like I was slowing u all down... And I wasn't rude to ur friends, they didn't speak to me, u didn't even introduce me..

He replied... I should stop being a little b*tch and just try it, and he told me I was going to be taking part (he didn't btw.....until it was my turn' .. He said he isn't ever going gym with me again , And he also said If he doesn't introduce people to me, it's because they're irrelevant in his life and they are nobody close to him...

So I asked.. If they're so irrelevant why do u care if I speak to them or not

He said its principle ... But please note readers! I didn't ignore anybody!...
Then he went back to yesterday when a guy he hates at the gym tried to joke with me... And gave him a half ass response because I thought he had insulted me... He's mad because I didn't laugh with the guy...

So we walked and argued in the rain..
I got in my car... Then drove back over to him and we spoke some more.. I said this is a huge overreaction, this doesn't need to be a big thing... He explained he's annoyed and just needs to walk .... The longer I keep him the more he'll be pissed....

I just thought ! OMG! Serious issues... So I said goodbye and left it .

This was last night - it just didn't need to be such a big thing , arguing in the rain like how cliché...... It was like the notebook in reverse ... So upsetting.

He really has some issues, but I love him so much.
I may need to actually stop going gym with him... I don't think he was serious when he said he isn't goin with me again, but i think it may be a good idea. The level of anger was so unnatural , I hadn't done anything to even slightly make him that mad!

It's just so confusing

 

**update***
Messaged me this morning like nothing happened.. General convo .

Crazy right :-(

 

This is why I'm just laying back and being a friend rather than continuously Persuing him... I don't think I'm actually doing anything wrong ... I think he has some serious issues .. I just wanna be his therapist :-(

 

Heyyyy... Thanks for this. It is a really good response . And you have read the situation to the T! Your right In the fact that I only ever go as far as he does. And he consistently tells me that I'm not really out.. And not being proud about who I am... Keeps insisting that i'm closeted and I can never understand why he thinks that.

So that outlook you have sounds about correct, how can he be comfortable if I'm appearing not to be comfortable myself.
I just left him... And he looked at me in the car.. And just smiled... And I said what? In a perfect world what would follow that look would be 'your eyes are beautiful'.. That's the type of look he gave...

BUT instead softly he said 'your so gay ' and smiled and seemed to adore that fact. It was just not what I expected him to say looool. Though a cute moment none the least!


But thanks for this advice I will take it on board!

And to answer ur question... No I never respond in that way. When he says things like that I usually get quite defensive and throw it back at him that he does it too.... Instead of being soft spoken and cute and relaxed about it .

So good advice! I will try . Thanks :icon_bigg

 

Thank you for your comments (*hug*)

 

***Quick update..****
So all day we've been texting and the topic of him talkin about girls has come up.

He is teasing me about a girl he knows that has a crush on me, he tells me I should just try sleeping with a female, I never know I might like it. I continuously refuse. He then said. " if you don't sleep with her, I'll get to know her and sleep with her just to piss you off"

I reply to him that - that was a very bad joke, it's not funny and he knows why it's not..
He replies 'I don't know why it's not funny '

So I explain because he knows how I feel ,and how it hurts me when I hear about him sleeping with girls , let alone joking about sleeping with a friend of mine'

(FYI last time I found out about a girl he slept with , he reassured me that it was a long time ago, didn't mean anything and I shouldn't be jealous as he wouldn't be)

So back to present ...his response to me saying he knows how I feel etc was..
"Lord woman !!! Feel different "

I responded "I can't help how I feel, I like you, so naturally I don't want to hear about u sleeping with other people, so I block it all out"

He responded " then I'll just keep saying more till you get used to it"

Bit of a dick thing to say really...
So I said "well that would make u an insensitive asshole, why would you want to purposely hurt me like that"

He replied " or it could make you super sensitive because you don't wanna hear shit and are incapable of blocking out what you feel . I listen to you talk about whatever , but when I do it , your feelings get hurt"

Now he's reffering to me talkin about me and other guys, because of late, I've been trying to just stop focusin on him and have fun, and he assumes I'm always with a guy, when I'm out at night, so I'll confirm if I am... I know it's a bad move, but i can't wait around forever... Point is though..

He returned it as if it's the same ... Where as I currently have no confirmed comment from him that he's into me?... So how can he spin it on me like that?..

I continue on telling him it's different, as he knows I like him and he can't compare it, I called him a hypocrite for constantly pushing me to be more honest about my sexuality , then telling me to hide my feelings... I also said, besides you never speak about girls to me... So why start now..

He replied 'your right, I never speak about girls to you'.. Then he said "you can be out and proud without your feelings limiting what i can say '

So I assured him I'm his friend and he can tell me anything he wants.

And he said great he will no longer limit what he says...

To which I responded .. So you have been currently doing that to spare my feelings? (Limiting what he says)
And he responded 'yes, but I'm done now, be prepared for me to be outspoken , you should man up, I'm not setting out to hurt you but you should accept that I will talk about vagina'

To me it all sounds so stupid... When we first met.. He showed 0 interest in girls ... And had no idea I had feelings for him... He's never been the type to speak about girls... He doesn't even usually say sex ... He says 'slept with' lol.

Point is for him to out of the blue want to make random conversations about girls ... Because I mentioned that glad he doesn't... Is a bit weird.

I think made the comparison..
Telling me about girls you sleep with is like telling a homeless man about the furniture you just purchased for you home

He responded 'not really , because they can change things, this won't so man up and get over it'


Now by 'this won't' I'm not sure if he meant ... He will never be with me.. Or he will never stop talkin about girls or whatever.. I really don't know. But that's my little update.
On this sad but beautiful closet case........ Jeeze I love him.

 

Yeah it so sux! Maybe start a thread with the details? , I'd be happy to advise. I'm actually great at reading situations and advising others, but in my own situation , although I know I'm right - I second guess a lot . Lol.

 

Hey!, hahah well we work in the same area... So i see him everyday during my lunch break and after work when in going to my car ...
Then we go gym together 5days a week. Then random shopping trips and the movies and stuff. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. As absence often makes the heart grow fonder. And he's so use to having me in his life, it seems he doesn't need to do anything to make it more permanent . It's annoying as it's practically like we're dating .


One important thing I forgot to note... Im not sure if it makes a differences. It may do.
But this guy was beaten up really badly by a group of guys a few years ago. Ends up in hospital , cracked ribs, broken nose etc. all fixed now.
But I never knew the Full reason behind this. he explained it as an arguement that just expanded as the other guy pulled in a group of people. But I know things like that are pretty damaging ..and I'm not sure if this has anything to do with him not coming out to me...


I also found out a girl who went to school with him ( a lesbian) said she always knew he was gay.. And also a lot the girls thought he was gay as he didn't ever show any interest in them .

There's also an infamous gay guy in the area that he had a big online issue with...but explains it to me as the guy insulted him family etc. it's all so sketchy.

Jeeze the things we go through with men.

 

Ugh... So again last night the vagina protest!
I really feel to tell him he's acting like a typical closet case... But I don't wanna ruin things.

We're having a general text conversation ...
We was watching a TV show .. And texting about it
He says 'fat people really annoy him'
I say 'lol Jeeze u hate fat people like I hate girls'

Then I get a 'str8 face emoji'
So I say what?

He replies 'vagina is delicious ' with a blushing emoji...


And I'm just like OMGGGGGGG!!!! Why the hell do you need to keep saying shit like this.

So I replied 'I'm glad you like it, rock hard yellow d*cks for me'...
By yellow I meant lightskinned which is his complexion ...

He replied ' sooooo you wanna suck off Homer Simpson ?.... Good for you' with a str8 faced emoji, a blushing faced emoji and a thumbs up one'


I swear this guy is driving me crazy.
Somebody who told me frozen made him 'jizz himself'
Somebody who picks out a pink bath towel...
Somebody who is know to run/hide and ignore girls who approach Him...

Finds vagina so delicious ?... Give me a break.

I do know some of the stuff I mentioned could be a total stereotype... But in connection with everything else. Dude is gay. I'm not stupid. I can see through him . But it's starting to feel like he THINKS I'm stupid... And the overselling is annoying me..
Considering I've told him I'm gay.. And I've already been so honest.
Why does he feel he needs to defend his sexuality to ME so much. Grrrr.

He gets so defensive about gay guys saying they can spot other gay guys... Why should that even bother him!

 

Ok another quick update for any silent readers out there lol as I'm not sure who is even reading anymore... But last night he continued his ongoing campaign for me to come out to my mother!!!!!

Now I don't get why he's so insistent that I do it , but my response is always 'she knows!!!' I just haven't confirmed... He then asked
'How do you know she knows, she would've asked you, therefore she doesn't know and it just proves your still closeted , just man up and do it'

So I used this opportunity to tell him something that I probably shouldn't have...
And that is that my mother has asked me if he was my boyfriend before.
Due to somebody unknown seeing me and him somewhere and making that assumption...

So I said to him..
'She does know, she even asked if you was my boyfriend '

He replied ' okaaaaaay'

I replied... "See you still think I need to tell her or are you stunned into silence"

He replied " well yeah tell her and also tell her that I like vagina in my face"

I said..." Ur so silly , she doesn't care about you, she just wants to know if I'm seeing anyone so she's made that assumption"

His response was " well an assumption that i'm your boyfriend or gay needs to be corrected"

I just reassured him that I have... And then we kinda changed topic for a minute and went to bed... Don't know what to make of it . It still seems like closeted behaviour .. But I won't stress over him anymore as he clearly has a lot of issues .

Just wanted to keep ya'll posted.