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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. Rickystarr

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    I had a nice mother's day. First my fiancee and I saw some of her family including an uncle I had never met but heard a lot about as well as an uncle I had met before pre transition and I liked. No one I met seemed to struggle at all with gendering me correctly or being weird to me. In fact most of her family has been very accomodating and validating to me. I was misgendered by her mom once which she corrected herself quickly and moved on. No one I meet from her family ever seems to have a problem with gendering me correctly, it's only people who knew me before who ever have an issue and even then it is barely. So that makes it seem to me that I am at least reading as male to strangers even though they clearly knew I am trans.

    Then later went to dinner with my mom and some aunts I hadn't seen in a while and my grandparents. I was a little worried I was going to be misgendered all evening by them since my grandparents were there and don't get it, though they know. But my grandparents didn't act any different from usual and actually didn't gender me at all the whole time or use any name when referring to me so that was nice. One of my aunts slipped up once and my 65 year old stepdad slipped up once, but whatever. It wasn't awkward and I was actually in a really good mood and I'm glad I got to see my aunts. It had been a long time and they were cooler than I remembered. And not only that but any time anyone slipped up it was my mom who corrected them and she was the one giving me the most trouble (unintentionally) in the past so that was really nice.
     
  2. looking for me

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    i do know what you mean. I live in a small area, and shopping at the local walmart (where I seem to know everyone) is nerve racking to say the least. but sometimes I just go do it, plus I get my HRT meds there so the people in the pharmacy know about me. I usually chicken out even so and go to the stores in the city when im in there.

    ---------- Post added 15th May 2017 at 08:56 AM ----------

    now that is cool man.:thumbsup:
     
  3. Lazuri

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    Came back from my first meeting with a voice coach.
     
  4. Kasey

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    No that's a big step. You'll get there.

    ---------- Post added 15th May 2017 at 10:30 AM ----------

    My students put on an acceptance week presentation today. I learned a lot. And it was touching how many times they said things like "support students AND teachers". Until me there was no one out. Hell I know one aide who is a butch lesbian but that's IT. We are the only two out and anyone I would guess I'd be wrong I think. Anyways it was heartwarming.
     
  5. looking for me

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    this younger generation does give me hope for the future, Kasey. one of the reasons I love working with young people, and why im trying to become a facilitator with Pflag
     
  6. Kasey

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    I told all of my classes how much of a dream I am living every day and that I am the exception and not the rule of being a trans person and to treasure how great a place the school is here.
     
  7. anthracite

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    I started to do facial exercises and it's been like a week and now I got my hair a little shorter so the jawline is visible better and I look like I had T for a month. This is bloody awesome! My chin got a little broader, but it's mostly the jawline. Confirmed by familiy.
     
  8. looking for me

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    started trying to feminize my voice, not higher but lighter and with a more fem cadence, at least that's what i think im doing.
     
  9. Najlen

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    I just went on a weekend school trip, and I'm really happy about how it worked out. Everyone or at least pretty much everyone in the group I was with knows that I'm trans at this point, so I didn't get misgendered at all. I was finally able to start using the mens bathroom, which was not as scary as I thought it might be. My teacher knows that I'm trans and I asked her if I could room with a group of guys and she said yes. An added bonus of doing that was that I got to room with my best friend. I don't know that I was passing super well because I wasn't putting any effort in, but it was nice.
     
  10. Rickystarr

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    I just realized I've yet to have a single (outwardly) negative reaction from anyone I've come out to as trans despite living in a pretty conservative area. Including family members who have all been really supportive.

    But more specifically, I finally had a talk with my boss that went really well so I guess I am officially out at work and he even said he would talk to everyone about my name/pronoun situation which I was expecting to have to deal with on my own.
     
  11. Kasey

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    It will take a while for that with adults usually. I'm still at it with people myself.
     
  12. AlexJames

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    Today mom went out to run errands, so i took the opportunity to try out names, pronouns, and labels aloud in the bathroom cause i was gonna take a shower anyways. It felt so liberating and it made me so happy to say, aloud, even to myself and the cat "Hi, my name's Alex!" Saying that with my birth name felt wrong and weird coming out of my mouth. I noticed that just as i suspected, saying only "and i'm a girl, i go by she/her." felt wrong but saying any combination of pronouns felt fine.

    Its confusing though because saying the 'bigender' label, which i relate to better, didn't feel as 'right' as saying 'genderfluid' did. But i think the label bigender fits me better. But i'm so prone to mental blocks and repression...but even in my straight-as-an-arrow-religious highschool days saying aloud 'i'm straight' felt wrong. So i put a lot of stock in what something feels like when i say it aloud. Advice, anybody? This is the first time i've tried it. I just find it disconcerting that the label i relate to most doesn't sound as right, doesn't click, as much as a label i don't feel like is me does.
     
  13. looking for me

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    maybe it's like a pair of shoes, you have to wear it in? keep saying it out loud when you can and in your head when you cant and see if it starts to feel comfortable.
     
  14. Zoneingout

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    I'm done playing games and pretending that I believe in something that I don't to be honest the concept the passing to me is completely wrong but if somebody feels comfortable using that term or is happy with that thought then so be it I have nothing against it I just don't understand the concept it seems very contradicting with certain things. But I will say I am happy when I get called a guy it makes me smile to know that somebody in the world sees me for who I am and the thing in the back of their heads is not that I was born a female it's just that I am a person another human being on this world walking to the store walking up the road going about their everyday lives period I guess you could say I don't care as much. But I do care that I'm not being scene in the eyes of people like somebody who has the role of a woman. Even though those roles do not exist and Society is improving I still think a lot of people see that whether or not they want to openly admit it in some ways I still think our community itself still sees that because it's so hard to overcome what we grew up inside period but what made me happy or has made me happy is very simple at least in my own life and in my own experiences and that is really just the fact but I can finally start to feel more masculine and not have to constantly wonder what's in somebody else's head
     
  15. Rickystarr

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    I work with an unusual number of muslims and I was somewhat worried about them treating me weird after coming out as trans. I mean not just them but anyone religious. But yeah everyone has been very nice and respectful. Perhaps especially the muslims.
     
    #3715 Rickystarr, May 20, 2017
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  16. Lazuri

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    Muslim people who have actually read the Quran and try to live by the faith's philosophies are generally cool people.
     
  17. Kasey

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    I got to wear a dress to a prom for the first time last night when I chaperoned my school prom.
     
  18. Najlen

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    That's awesome! I hope you had fun
     
  19. looking for me

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    Awww, how cool is that. (!)
     
  20. Athexant

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    I recently got a pixie cut because I was tired of having long hair and being called ma'am. I was wearing a loose shirt and hoodie, and many times in one day, I was called "sir" or "can you hand that to the young man over there?".

    Everyone in my family thought it was awkward and joked about it, thinking it made me uncomfortable. Little do they know, I was incredibly happy, and those comments made my day.

    ---------- Post added 20th May 2017 at 11:34 AM ----------

    I'm so happy for you! It must have been such a relief to have been in an accepting environment with fellow men and being seen as who you are. The anxiety leading up to those situations can be intense, but I'm glad everything worked out well in the end.