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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. BreakinDaylight

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    My mom called me her son for the first time :icon_bigg
     
  2. OtterGrump

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    Well I'm not sure I'm trans yet but a week and a bit ago I got a haircut, so that's #1. And on out New York trip last week I got called sir or son I think three or four times, and confused people a few more times, probably mostly because I was wearing a hat.

    Haha, it was kind of funny going through the gate at the airport on our way back because they looked at our boarding passes and said thank you, it went "thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you, thank you sir".

    And another thing at the airport was that everyone was going through the scanner you had to stand in and apparently they have to put male or female as you step in due to... thickness of areas? (I saw the screen and it was around the chest that was the problem) As I came out the man asked if I was a boy and I said girl. Apparently his colleague had put in male, but she also did it for the girl behind me, so maybe she just didn't change the setting.
     
  3. PrinceVegeta

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    That's great! That must have been a good feelinh :slight_smile:

    Congrats on that first step and that's great people were misgendering you.

    Everyone at work is calling me by my preferred name now. I also recently started seeing a therapist and on the first visit she gave me numbers for preferred endocrinologists.. Like, I thought it would take at least a few months.. it was crazy, but it's awesome and I'm so fucking happy.
     
  4. Rickystarr

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    Very small victory. I went bowling with my mom the other day and when we asked for shoes I asked for an 8 and my mom asked for a 9.5 and we both got the same shoes. So he automatically gave me a men's 8 without me having to specify that I was a men's 8 not a women's 8. This shouldn't have been so gratifying since I pass in general but it was a good feeling.
     
    #3524 Rickystarr, Mar 22, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2017
  5. Lacybi

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    But isn't an 8 an 8 regardless of whether they're men's or women's shoes? Not saying that your victory isn't a victory or anything I'm just genuinely confused
     
  6. Rickystarr

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    No, a men's 8 is a women's 9.5. In the US at least. It's pretty dumb though.
     
    #3526 Rickystarr, Mar 22, 2017
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  7. looking for me

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  8. CROSSY ROAD

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    Guys i know i havent been on in a while but i just got my first binder and i'm wearing it and its amazing
     
  9. Daydreamer1

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    I wasn't planning on doing it, but I ended up coming out to someone again last night.

    We've been bouncing creative writing ideas off each other for two months or so now, and one concept she pitched to me for a script has a trans protagonist (and that's all I'll say since it's almost solid and written down in paper). I was so up with the idea, and I tried to be that gentle artist to let her know to be careful when writing LGBTQ characters since it can be easy to paint them in a negative light; and being bi herself, she totally understood what I meant.

    She was worried about that, and wasn't sure how to go about writing a trans character properly without being "that person"; since I mentioned how a lot of people got their hopes up for "About Ray" being great, but the director stated outright about how she saw Ray as a "girl playing extreme dressup". At some point, I said if it helps, I can try to help out with clearing the air of anything that could possibly be interpreted the wrong way or be unintentionally offensive--coming out to her in the process.

    She was super cool about it, which I was already expecting, as she and a slew of people I've come to befriend are outspoken about their support and love for the LGBTQ community, and their burning hatred for the Trump administration and bigots in general. Either way, it was still cool to have someone give a "fuck yeah, man" type of response.

    Outside here and maybe three other places; I'm fairly "cis passing" and I don't talk about my identity much at all--and I'd rather keep it that way for now. I'm super cool with being open about my sexuality, but I'm not sure when or if I'll ever be comfortable with being anything but stealth within my career. That's not to say I might not ever come out, but I really don't want to chance it being the one deal breaker that turns people off from wanting anything to do with my work; from buying my shit, potential collaborations, business deals and so on. I've heard awful stories about how Clive Barker got horrific hate mail after he came out as gay in the early 90s, and I'm not in the mood to put up with that any time soon.

    tl;dr -- I came out to encourage a friend to not give up on a project she's passionate about.
     
  10. AaronV

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    This is definitely not a small victory but I don't wanna make a thread just for this: I just called my insurance and they are going to cover all future trans related surgeries I might have. I'm going to get the letter in the post in like two days. (!) Which means I'm now officially going to have my top surgery and hysterectomy this August. (!)

    I'm beyond happy. I'm from Germany and my insurance would have covered the cost anyway, but they had previously told me I needed to have an interview with one of their regional offices and I haven't heard good things about those, so this was way less complicated and time consuming than I thought it would be. :eusa_danc
     
    #3530 AaronV, Mar 24, 2017
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  11. looking for me

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    wow, congrats man.
     
  12. Lazuri

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    Glad you can skip that interview. It fucking sucks to have to convince people that you need the help and them literally looking for tiniest reason not to oblige, because they've got no clue what you're going through.

    I'm happy for you, man. I really am.
     
  13. AaronV

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    Thanks to both of you! :icon_bigg

    @Lazuri: Definitely! Some people have told me that they were refused the cost for surgery because their stories weren't "authentic enough". One of my friends was asked to remove his shirt so they could look at his body hair? :confused: And when he refused the woman got super angry and wrote a bad review about him... So I definitely dodged a bullet there.
     
  14. Kasey

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    Just got out of the store where a man came up to me and complimented me on my style. He said you are so glamorous. He came back 20 sec later and then said God Bless you and take this blessed medallion to keep you safe. It was one of those images of the Virgin Mary from that medugorgie (however you spell it). That was shocking a seemingly devout Catholic would approach me like that.

    Then another woman complimented me on my jacket and style (again).

    And on the way out I dropped and item off my cart and an older gentleman ran me down "miss you dropped that".

    Love the validation.
     
  15. Daydreamer1

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    That's so sweet, Kasey! :grin: (*hug*)
     
  16. Rickystarr

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    Put my last name on my facebook so my coworkers could find me if they look hard enough. Already had one taker who now knows. That's like over half that know now. I'm honestly surprised by how little people here gossip lol.
     
    #3536 Rickystarr, Mar 25, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2017
  17. Kasey

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    I've appeared on Facebook feed before from being on the network at school. No one knows what I am yet. They will in about a week.

    But then again not gossiping is a very good trait to have in a community.
     
  18. looking for me

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    stories like this give me hope.

    ---------- Post added 26th Mar 2017 at 02:50 PM ----------

    so, personal victory. i went to an anniversary party for some dear friends last night and one of the ladies said it's my party and you're dancing. she held her hand out with 'come on' and i took her hand, and i danced..... not well mind you but i did dance and it was the first time i tried in about 25 years......
     
  19. Rickystarr

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    Alright so me being trans seems to have become common knowledge at work pretty much over night. Although I've not asked for male pronouns or anything yet, some people have taken it upon themselves to call me Patrick without me even asking. Including some people who I was specifically worried about them maybe being weird about it. Some of those people have been the most supportive and chill. Christians, muslims, republicans, you name it. That'll show me not to be judmental about who is judgmental lol.
     
  20. PrinceVegeta

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    That is awesome, Patrick. Yeah.. just relax and let the word spread. When I came out at work I was also surprised how relaxed people were about it. The most open minds can sometimes come from the most unexpected people.