Small Victories

I'm at a choir convention and since I sing tenor everyone calls me a guy, dude, he, etc. and it's so great! Even this guy from my own choir called me 'him'?

The seating order is also "girl boy girl boy" and I got a boy seat. :icon_bigg

I'm passing for the first time and I absolutely love it. :eusa_danc :eusa_danc

 

Listening to my voice clips. It's funny because at the time of recording some earlier ones I was thinking I wasn't being totally honest and was talking a little lower than I normally would. Now even so they sound so high pitched compared to now. I'm almost kind of alarmed that it's going so low so quickly. I was hoping to at least hit tenor range (which I've already pretty much surpassed) and at this rate I'm going to sound like Barry White if it keeps going down. XD

 

Oh yeah and I haven't been "ma'amed" in weeks.

 

came out as Sarah at my PFLAG meeting last night, told them I plan on starting HRT in the coming months as I get things lined up, and got so much support and love.

I also told them I want to be a facilitator with the group and they, the other facilitators were so excited said I was the perfect person to join the team...... so great.

 

its about 100 kms to get there, so about an hours drive each way but worth it. and thank you soo much. (*hug*)

 

my new swimsuit arrived today and it is adorable!

 

Had a nice chat with my therapist during a phone appointment. She's been ill, which is why I don't have my letter yet.

So I'm still getting my note!!!

 

That's great ^.^ Either next month or March I'll be getting mine.

 

Made the first appointment for laser hair removal in the face. It's a month away, but that's fine.

 

It's both a recent and non recent thing: "I have been "sir'ed" "he'd" "him'ed" at, ect, for years now when I meet strangers.. Pretty much since I was 14/15 I was passing for a guy.. But then I was 22 and my sister thought it was a good idea to hook me up with a guy. She said "all I needed was a boyfriend and I would be girly" Well, she was right.. I dated the guy.. I fell in love.. we dated for 2 years, was engaged for 3 ½ years.. and I didn't realize until halfway through last year that I was depressed.. and it was because I was pretending to be someone I wasn't.. I changed so much for this guy... I started dressing girl -ish, I tried to higher my voice around him.. I did things I used to never want to do ever.. Even throughout all those years I still felt like a guy though, and I never opened up about it to him.. Doesn't matter though because back in September he dumped me, and even though I saw the signs, I was of course, devastated when it happened.
But, I picked myself up, and then turned back to how I used to be. Even got myself a new job in early October. When I applied, I was dressed in female clothes, but once I started working there I was back to my old style of boy clothes.. which I was so glad I never threw out my boy clothes (it just took me a while to get everything I owned out of his house). I get called "him" "he" "boy" "sir" "dude"... so much working at the new place. After a while some people got corrected from my supervisor though.. and everyone now thinks I shrug it off when I get addressed as such, but I like it. I really do. It makes me very happy since For the 5½ years I spent with my ex, I was wearing girl clothes to make him happy so I was being addressed as a girl a lot then.. though I would say maybe 30% of the time I was still addressed as a boy and the people would have raised eyebrows... My voice is very raw, and thankfully I never developed breasts.. so those few moments were amusing then, at least.

 

fantastic hun. just a speed bump.

---------- Post added 20th Jan 2017 at 09:10 PM ----------

somebody has had a full day. Win, Win, Win.

 

Yes just a speed bump!

 

This is more of a relief than a victory.

I just spent like two hours writing and rewriting this coming out text to one of my coworkers who I'm trying to befriend. She is the one that always calls me Calvin as kind of an inside joke. She's also the only one who has commented on my voice drop. I was planning on sending it sometime today, but she actually confronted me about it before I had the chance to send it. I was so relieved because that was going to be so awkward, especially since she already had an idea apparently.

I thought she might know since like I said, she calls me a male name, has asked if I'm sick because of my voice, etc. But she is also one of the main ones who makes a big deal about it everytime a customer calls me sir. I guess she was maybe trying to open up the subject.

So yeah, big relief, and a good start on coming out at work since she has a big mouth.

 

I booked a Laser Hair Removal consultation today, under my chosen name. That was fantastic enough, but I felt really giddy when she went through the medical questionnaire and asked me if I was pregnant or breastfeeding. Just the idea that that was a possibility in her mind made me smile uncontrollably.

 

Used the mens room in a cafe today. I did it unconsciously and I just wanted to wash my hands so when I noticed I shrugged it off when I noticed where I was and did my thing. It felt more right then when I go into the ladies room since I sometimes get weird looks if I go in a public ladies bathroom. Nope. no weird looks in the mens room. Just one dude coming out of a stall saying asking if I had a lighter (I am assuming he would wait until outside to smoke that cigarette..).

---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2017 at 12:25 PM ----------

I call this a victory just because it felt right even though technically it is kind of wrong :/

 

Today my dad told me that I look like one of the members form ACDC XD. And I might be seeing a therapist soon(!).