I'm not out at school yet formally (like with teachers using the boys' bathroom, etc.) However, most of my friends call me by my preferred name. I recently made this new friend who knows me from girls' chorus, but we're slowly becoming friends outside of school. She knows me by my birth name, and it makes me really dysphoric. I'm considering telling her to call me by my preferred name (which is really masculine name) but I don't want to make her stop wanting to hang out with me and I am really bad at talking and explaining things in a way that makes sense and isn't awkward. I'm considering asking her via text, but I'm scared if she reacts badly or has questions it'll put her off. I think I'd just tell her my name and later on if she asks me about explain my transgender-ism? What do you people think I should do?
Do it by a text, phone call, or email that way you can just hang up or stop chatting if they say anything. Try to set it up so someone will call you by your preferred name with your friend where they can hear.
might as well find out now, while you aren't yet too emotionally connected to her. if she gets scared off, well better now than after investing a lot of time and emotion and maybe even falling in love(???)
I would just go with the flow and tell her straight (pun not intended) out. Just tell her that you are identifying as a male now and going by ____ so if she could call you that, that would be great. I have a friend going through a similar experience, and so I understand that it is really difficult and people are very oddly dense about the topic, hwoever I think that if she knows you well and cares about you then she will continue being your friend and will accept you for who you are. I am sure you'll be fine, just do your best not to seem nervous and you won't be. Best of luck! Love Batman
