I have been a jerk to her and now she doesn't want to be my friend. She doesn't want to talk to me and when she does talk to me, she talks to me crudely. I became a jerk to her because I was trying to get rid of my feelings for her. Now I regret being a jerk. Should I tell her the reason? That I like her and being a jerk is the only way I feel I could forget about her?
It would probably help both of you gain some closure if you're able to express why and she can know why. So yes, I'd say to be honest with her.
Charls said it, but truthfully what do you have to lose at this point, either she keeps ignoring you and you guys don't stay friends, or you tell her and she understands and maybe is even interested in you. Seems like a clear choice to me.
I think you should just be hinest with her. Otherwise she might feel like she did something wrong and not understand why. To lose a friemdship over this would be horrible and you would probably always have the "what if"s Good luck though, I hope the best for you
Yes, tell her. If your options are to lose a friend by doing nothing or potentially save your relationship by being honest, be honest. If it doesn't work out then at the very least you won't have to look back and wonder what might have happened if you tried. Good luck!
Hi guys! Thank you all for replying. I was drafting out what I wanted to tell her when I thought of asking whether it is possible to write her a letter instead of telling her in person. It's because I get very nervous when I'm face to face with her. Then I found out something... I found out why she's being cold only to me. She left a small notebook on her desk where anybody can see it and read it. I opened her notebook to look for the expenses she wrote down in that notebook when we were on a holiday trip to another country (they are on the last page). But on the second page, it seemed as though she purposely made it to come off. And there it was. She wrote about her feelings during the trip. This is what she wrote: "wrong person, wrong feelings, sooooo boring; regretting, waste of money, waste of effort; having massages at the hotel is even better." Truth is I don't really know what she meant by "wrong feelings". Was she interested in me? FYI, I didn't do anything to her because I don't even know if she's interested in me or not. She sent mixed signals to me before the trip. First, like she's interested. Then next, she doesn't seem interested in me. After the trip, she treats me very cold or rather crudely and rudely. Most of the time, she treats me like I'm the invisible girl. Please help. I don't know how to resolve this matter. Should I tell her I like her and that because I don't know if she likes me so I became a jerk, even before the trip, so that I can get rid of my feelings for her and forget about her? Can I write a letter instead of telling her in person? I may miss out some important points if I do it in person.
Edit: please replace the word 'wrong' with 'not right'. Therefore, it should read as "This is what she wrote: "not right person, not right feelings, sooooo boring; regretting, waste of money, waste of effort; having massages at the hotel is even better." And also this sentence "Truth is I don't really know what she meant by "not right feelings"." Sorry for the edit. The reason I'm asking again if I should tell her or not is because of the new information regarding her view or feelings of the trip. Regarding her writings, does it mean she has lost interest in me? Or she wasn't interested in me even before the trip? Please help... ---------- Post added 15th Dec 2014 at 12:15 AM ---------- All advices, insights, opinions, etc are welcomed. Thanks.
Nothing in the notebook changes what others have said, communicate with her and get closure, if not for her than for yourself. No need to go through wondering. Just approach her, however you feel comfortable and let it come out while hearing what she has to say. It may hurt, but you will be all the better for it.
