Dealing with self criticism

Start by setting some small goals and achieving them. The more goals you achieve, the stringer your self confidence will be. The more self confidence you build, the less self criticism you will do.

You lost 42 pounds! That's an amazing amount of weight loss! That should be accomplishment number one. You say you have a back problem and can not continue to lose weight the way you did, but you can continue to eat well and try some cardio exercises that do not put excess strain on your back. Set another reasonable target to hit with your weight. (I lost about 55 pounds. So I know from experience on this one).

The goals do not need to be big, just reasonable ones. Focus on things you like to do. Whether it be sports, video games, reading books, other hobbies.

Good luck!

 

It's never easy to see yourself in a sort of "Wow... I look nice" image, but trust me when I say that every life is precious There's no reason for you to feel bad about how you look

Everything in life has to be tough to those who are the most incredible... nothing ever comes easy, but honestly you just need to look in the mirror, look long and hard at yourself and say "Omg... I'm beautiful and everyone else can fucking SUCK IT!" because you are No matter the physical appearance, it's what's inside that truly matters

A lot of us have been in your position and if we've been able to get through it, then a guy as awesome as you will definitely be able to get through it, see the light of a new day, and love everything the world has to offer (*hug*)

You should never feel like you're inadequate or anything like that, you should never feel as though your sexuality is a curse brought upon you or anything like that. You shouldn't think your weight is a problem because I know a few people who are going through pretty much the same things as you, and they are happy And if they can do it, so can you (*hug*)

I know for a fact that it's never easy to deal with self hate :/ I've gone through a depression at least twice in my life :/ Both those times I just felt like a worthless piece of shit that doesn't deserve to continue living... so I know how you feel... and I know for a fact that you are wrong You aren't a "parasite" on the world, you are a gift You are special, you are insanely smart and you are unique
There's never going to be anyone as awesome as you

All you need to do is now look at yourself, see yourself for the amazing guy you are, and live life one step at a time

Good luck and don't feel shy to ask for help

 

I try to tell myself that my "flaws" don't make me who I am. They are just mistakes that are here to trip me up. You must try to look past them. Also, I tell myself that I will one day look back and laugh. It's stupid, I know. But it helps me.

 

It sounds exactly like me! I have slightly crooked bottom teeth and a horribly looking back (due to Scheuermann´s disease). I always feel like I am something less than the others and it makes me feeling depressed so much that sometimes I think about suicide. The problem is that I want to live so much and be perfect but I just can not. People keep telling me that I am handsome and girls would fight for me (boys would be better ) and all these craps. So I became obssesed with my appearance to the point where I am looking for every little flaw on my body and it almost literally kills me...

I have always wondered how does it feel to be this absolutely perfect surfer boy with self-cofidence that touches the stars. I want to be perfect so badly and I just can not stop comparing myself with others.

I wish you good luck and you would be surprised because, for me, you could be the perfect one (and vice versa). Is not that kinda funny?

 

I'm in the same boat as Marty here I actually went through some pretty bad depression last year because of my incessant self-criticism, especially of my body. I just never feel like I can live up to the ideal. I have some great friends and I care about them even if they don't look like models or anything. Hell, those "perfect" looking people have problems of their own. I find that normal looking people are usually better to talk to and easier to love

 

First off: YOU ARE FANTASTIC AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AND WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE

First off, It sounds like you might have depression or something, though. I'd check with some kind of psychology clinic or your doctor and tell them about it. It's no perfect solution, but meds and therapy have improved a lot of people's lives.

As to how I've dealt with self hate? I struggled with some pretty bad self hate from 7th to about 10th grade, and I'm still working on it. Learning to love yourself is a rough road to go down, but you can get there.

Something I do a lot is notice other people. This one is super important. So that person has some fluff, are you judging them for it? Hey look, that person's teeth are perfect do you think any less of them? Look for some relatively popular people who don't have a perfect body. People can love you no matter how you look. (This is coming from someone who's a bit overweight with stained teeth)

Now if you are judging them, first step is to be less judgemental. Just make it a personal goal to open your mind a bit.

Now take out some paper. Get yourself a fantastic notebook with a character or a design or a cover that you love, and a nice pen to go with it. Write a lot. Make a list of things you're complimented for. WRITE AND ENTIRE PAGE IN ALL CAPS TELLING YOURSELF YOU'RE PERFECT. Sometimes writing a lot with a lot of swear words helps me.

Talk to people. There are people, family and friends and relatives, who love you. Call them up at two in the morning and tell them you feel crappy about yourself, tell them why, get in to all the gory details about it with someone you trust. Spill your heart out. Make sure it's a person who loves you and will take you seriously, because then you'd better get that pen from earlier ready for a very long list of why people love you.

Go on google images and look up pictures of fat people, or people with stained teeth, or in your case 19 year old balding guys. It's weird, but seeing people who look like me has helped a ton to just let myself go "well, my tummy is sticking out a lot, but gosh darnit that is some fabulous looking fluff. You go, girl!"

Don't be afraid to treat yourself, go down to the grocery store and buy a pack of oreos and then sit down and watch Netflix or something for a while. Don't do this in excess, as that is unhealthy, but let yourself have a break from life.

Kinda weird advice, but watch the Vlogbrothers. Seriously, I know it sounds like I'm being paid to promote them or something, but their happiness and optimism is infectious. They'll make you smile and laugh a lot because they're videos and they're community is so positive, it has helped me on bad days a ton.

Train your thoughts to be more positive towards yourself and the world. I made up little personas for different parts of my personality, and have had little battles in my head with the part that keeps telling me I'm annoying and worthless. Don't go on social media and post self hate, trust me, it just makes things worse.

Take pride in your "bad" traits. I can only think of one example for me off the top of my head, but I am an extremely annoying person. So I just got to the point of going "yeah, I'm annoying. But I've got friends who are able to tease me about it and let me know when I cross the line" so I just sorta embraced it.

I'm hope you're feeling better soon. Just remember that you are a fantastic human being who makes mistakes just like the rest of us do, and remember it's ok not to look like a model.