I was born a female but am genderfluid so using a public restroom causes a lot of anxiety I feel like people are judging me and will say something about me being in the male restroom even though I identify as one at the time. My mother will not let me dress like a man meaning I wear girl clothes almost all the time without a choice Sometimes as a man I want to feel pretty and wear like a dress and maybe a bit of makeup So I want to be able to use the male restroom when I identify as a male, but I feel as though I will get in trouble or confronted considering I am usually in female clothing, but using the women's restroom as a guy is just a reminder that physically I am not a guy and is really upsetting. Any advice? What do some of you do?
I use the women's room because I feel like I don't pass well enough for the men's and I've heard bad stories about people getting harrassed in bathrooms. It sucks but I don't want to risk it
I actually used the mens' for the first time at a Knowledge Bowl meet held at an unfamiliar college - by accident! They didn't have mens' and womens' next to each other (I think there was a womens' on some floors, mens' on others) and each floor looked the same. I had used a womens' room on a random floor, and since all floors looked the same, I naturally went into a different floor's bathroom, mistaking it for the previous bathroom. And it was mens'. My friend was waiting for me outside and her eyes were wide. She knew I was trans at the time, but, she was still nervous if anyone showed up and came in to use the mens'. She was watching out for me, I guess you could say. She wasn't sure if I did that on purpose or by accident. It was purely mistake. That bathroom experience made me feeling happy, though. But I still use the womens' because I don't pass at all.
I use the women's because im too scared to go in the mens although i do get some weird looks by a lot of women, because i dont exactly pass well buti do get asked what i am a lot, even though it bothers me.
I hate public bathrooms (well, not the ones that are only for one person) but when I have to, wish I could use the men's. One day I will. (And no, I don't go out in makeup etc. like in my pictures so that won't be a problem.)
I use the men's now that I pass most of the time. Before, I would use the women's restroom or a family one.
I tend to use female restrooms because my presentation leans female, even if I don't identify that way. If available, I prefer gender neutral restrooms.
Women's. Don't pass. Would use disabled/unisex bathroom if there was the option but most of the time there isn't. I like unisex bathrooms where there's just the one bathroom and it shows women or men on the door. I think it's more equal. Separating causes more segregation between the genders IMO. I don't know if this goes on in the men's but in my experience there were always problems in the girls bathrooms at school. Girls hanging out in there making you feel uncomfortable when you go in on your own, bullying and even fights.
Men's or the family room if they have one. I try to avoid public restrooms at all cost because they are intense on my anxiety.
Wellllll... As it relates to the restroom I'm in the doctors office and a woman comes up to me asking for the key code to the bathroom.
Men's room. Before I went full time, it was women's or gender neutral. But even though I don't pass 100% of the time, I still use the men's room. No one has ever given me trouble though. Literally the only time anyone has was when I was standing at the urinal and some drunk homeless guy leaned over from the other urinal and said "HEY BUDDY!" I was so freaked out I almost peed all over my damn jeans and had to shove a pee soaked STP in my pocket while getting the hell out of the bathroom. Which reminds me, I need to buy a new STP. My old one got all fucked up from hanging out in my pocket.
i typically use a stall in the men's, but i prefer a gender-neutral washroom if there is one available. i honestly don't think i pass enough either way to use the women's or the men's, so i try to just avoid gendered washrooms.
This, though I generally attempt to locate single occupancy restrooms when possible/practical. Especially if I am presenting female, as I'm certain I don't pass well. Even before I accepted I was trans, I have confused people in the mens room.
It depends how well I pass, however I haven't been brave enough to use the mens yet. I use the disabled/unisex single stall toilets at College. One day I will brave the mens though.
Usually this is only an issue at my college. I use the unisex restrooms when I'm nearby the one building that has them, but the rest of the time I use the women's room and try not to draw attention to myself. To me, priority is safety and doing the deed. I would be afraid that I don't pass well enough, or worse, that one of my classmates sees me and it creates a problem if I used the men's room. I'd rather use the men's room given the choice and guaranteed no issues, but instead I just hope no one is around when I use the women's room. I hate especially when people see me because I know if I was passing or borderline passing, when I walk into a women's restroom it dispels that. In general, I try not to think about it. Get in, get out, get back to whatever I was doing and hope no one thought anything of it. I take solace in thinking about being post-T and passing one day so I can use the men's room without so much worry.
Thank you all for responding, it feels good knowing that I am not alone in being afraid to use the men's restroom. There have been a few times I've gone in, but its usually been empty. One time I came out of the male restroom and a man going in gasped and jumped back since I don't pass very well. It's good hearing that some of you can pass and are brave enough to use the restroom you identify with. And thank you all again for your responses. ---------- Post added 9th Dec 2014 at 01:41 AM ---------- Also, the area I live in is pretty small and there are only male and female restrooms. Walmart is the only exception because they have a family restroom, but they are like they only public place that does
