Has anyone hear questioned (or knows someone who has questioned) their gender identity and come to the conclusion they were cis? I'm a male who has been questioning now for around 4 months and still haven't come to a conclusion...does the mere fact I'm questioning my identity mean I'm probably transgender?
I'm sure that there are people who have questioned their gender and determined that they are cis. Those people are few and far between though. Have you thought that you may be genderfluid or some other non-binary identity?
Well, what are you having doubts about? I figure, not many cisgender people question how they are, but they may think about what'd be like to be the opposite sex, every once in a while. To be questioning about it for four months raises some concerns, though. What are you questioning?
The thought has come up, yes, and I came to the conclusion that all-in-all I identify as female. I came to acknowledge in myself the fact that I am more masculine in expression and behaviour as well as in mindset as most other females I know, so maybe I'm a bit genderqueer or something. Call it butch, masculine female, whatever... I don't feel like I'm a man, and I don't want to be a man. I'm okay with my female body, but I'm also ok with being perceived as a masculine female. (And most of the time I don't really mind if people perceive me as male or female, even though usually I prefer female pronouns...) In my opinion, the mere fact that you question your identity as male implies that you probably in one way or another don't fit society's social expectation of what is considered to be masculine, manly or being a man or don't want to fit that expectation (at least that's what made me think [with feminine and being a woman])... But well, you know, you don't have to fit society's expectations. That's what I took from my questioning... I guess it depends a bit on the questions you ask yourself and most of all, the answers you found to those questions... Do you feel like you are a woman? Do you wish people would see you as a woman? (I guess someone else could provide more insight here?) If you answer questions like that with yes, I think that would probably imply that you're maybe non-binary or not cis, but not the mere fact that you question... Just my two cents, hope it helps =)
I don't seem to suffer from any physical signs of dysphoria (although maybe some which could be considered indirect dysphoria), it's more a voice in my head saying I may be trans. I'm suffering from depression and what feels like desensitisation from the world, and I am wondering if these are the cause, or maybe a symptom of what I'm feeling. I've had an initial appointment with a therapist and he says that I don't seem to fit what you might consider a "traditional" trans narrative, but I want to explore what's happening to me and hopefully get some sense of identity back. I feel like I'm going crazy!
There's no right way to be trans or one trans narrative, there are as many different types of people who are trans as in any other social grouping Also getting dysphoria shouldn't be the main indicator that someone is trans, it should be more what you feel deep down on the inside. Don't be in such a rush to give yourself a label, maybe its enough to just admit to yourself that you don't feel cisgender? or maybe that your not comfortable with what you think it means to be a guy?
For many years I had no idea I was Trans. I believed I was a bisexual female who enjoyed being a tomboy to the extreme . Once I figured out what I really was when the dysphoria came to a boil, explained it all real quickly...
I did, for months. I still have some doubts once in awhile, but I'm mostly fine with that. It probably have to do with my sexuality. A few masculine/lesbian women or feminine/gay men may end up by transitioning thinking that they are trans because of the gender roles, so I believe you must let society's notions of what a (wo)man is and if you still think that you aren't supposed to be male, then you're probably trans. Stay aware that some people identify themselves as a non-binary gender too.
Personally, I think it would be great if everyone questioned their gender at some point. Questioning, even for a few months, doesn't necessarily mean you're trans. It just means you're questioning! I've found that reflecting on other important self-identities helped/is helping me through my time of questioning something as central as my gender. Whatever you're process, just know that is one aspect making up who you are, and there isn't a rush to put a label (if any) on yourself. Hope you're journey goes well!
I questioned and came to the conclusion I was cis. It does happen sometimes. I even switched my gender to male on a few sites to test it, but it felt wrong so that's how I knew. Questioning for me was based on internalized homophobia until I realized most trans guys like men anyway. I think only you can figure out who you are.
This is exactly what I've mostly come to realize and I'm sure that some cis people who've questioned their gender identity may have come to the conclusion they are cis. As my therapist says, we're just more aware of ourselves. ---------- Post added 12th Dec 2014 at 09:10 PM ---------- My questioning was actually triggered by realizing I'm bisexual or something like that, so it's quite possible.
As above posters have said, there are diverse experiences after a period of questioning. I'm still not totally sure, after months of binding and trying different clothing styles and trying out a male name. Getting comfortable questioning might help; instead of forcing yourself through this period of questioning and backing out or leaping forward too quickly, let yourself explore. For some people questioning takes years; for others it's a quick phase. As IJustWantToLove brought up, questioning means that at the very least you don't exactly fit society's expectations. It's hard to separate out discomfort with physical body from the expectations imposed by society. Ask yourself if you are uncomfortable physically or socially or both. And yes some people question and then decide that "cis" suits them, or that agender/nonbinary makes the most sense. But whatever your experience is, there are probably several people with your same experience.
