Self esteem, do you have it?

I do. Honestly, I've always been pretty confident about myself, even if I am quiet and shy sometimes. That might make no sense to some, but it's always made sense to me.

Unfortunately, I do sometimes take having high self-esteem to being a bit cocky, but I try to tone it down. Because I'm quiet, most people don't always pick up on the fact that I think highly of myself sometimes lol.

 

More than I used to, but it's very fragile

 

I had low self esteem really bad when I was a teenager. When I was able to come out to some friends and they accepted it, it was a huge relief and it actually helped my self image and self esteem. It wasn't until I came out to my family very recently that I finally love myself and feel truly happy and confident being me. So at the moment, it is as high as it has ever been.

 

Yes, I'm freakin awesome...

Happy days

 

I've got an extra low one.
I don't really like myself - neither by appearance nor by character.

 

has been low at times as I suffer from mood swings but Ive learned to deal with it and find ways to get my arse in gear

 

My self esteem has been a bit low lately, mainly because I've been immersed in self reflection. In average though, I have a pretty high self esteem.

 

Not as bad as it was~ still fairly low xD

 

...
...
...

It's not good. At all.
Gah.
I hate myself, I don't think straight, I doubt myself constantly.
I have no one to trust, and I don't even trust myself.
I'm convinced that at least 99% of all my problems are entirely fictional and yet I manage to perform doublethink and treat them as if they're weren't anyway.
I'm insecure, running out of friends, I constantly imagine that everyone is laughing at me and that's because half the time they are. Everyone judges me, and rightly so.
I'm so fucking manipulative that I can't stand it. Everything I say and do is done to coerce some response that I want out of people. Right now, I know for a fact that the way in which I'm typing this us specifically done to make you pity me. So if you were, don't, because it's obviously not real, my fucked up self is just manipulating your feelings, or at least, attempting to.

I'm ugly and fat. I can't deal with my appearance, everyone judges me and it seems like the way I look and present myself is always someone else's business. I'm overweight, and I don't want to be. I don't like it. I hate it. My parents never stop talking about it. But I just can't get up and make a change because that takes away from everything else. And that makes me stupid, for prioritising bullshit over my own health.

I just hate myself.
And I doubt I even mean that. Because I can't trust myself on anything and even though that's how I think I feel I have no idea if that's actually how I do feel.


Sorry for rambling like an idiot. This thread seems to have given me a chance to just sort of rant about a small fraction of the ways in which I'm an awful person.
I have many more.

Fuck this shit. I can't stand how I type. It's so bloody manipulative and written to incite emotion. Fuck it. Fuck it. Shrjrjbrbrf

 

Very low. I hate myself. But I am working on that by trying to change into a new person. Someone I don't hate.

Well that is my "IRL" self anyway. When I am online. My self esteem is much higher. Because I can actually speak my mind. Without freezing up due to anxiety. And I don't need to show my face online. Which is a part of me I hate.

Though basically, I would like to take my online self and transfer it offline as well. Then I would think of myself as an OK person. Although, even online, I can get pretty embarrassed and insecure easily... But not as much as offline.

 

Iv gone from having none to having quite a bit. I do want more though.

 

I have low self-esteem

 

I have very high "internal" self-steem. I love the way I am, the way I think, the things I do, the way I play life. But externally I'd say I have 1/3 of days of high and the rest just average-bad days. I know I'm not ugly but I'm too perfectionist and there are a few things I'd change from my face. I don't know what am I gonna do with those yet but I'll probably change'em

 

My self esteem used to be extremly low, now I lost almost 10 kg (22 lbs) and going to meet a guy tomorrow with whom I've been talking and sharing pictures for over the past days I feel more self secure.

 

It's pretty high for me. I don't lord it over people though, unless someone else tries to do this or behaves condescendingly etc with me or others which is inclined to provoke a reaction.

I always have an overall sense that I can and will achieve anything I set my mind to eventually. I do have times when I question or second guess myself, but it's not very emotional, more a logical analysis along the lines of: right, what happened there? Could I have done something differently? If so, what? How can I apply this in future? I treat failures as a learning process but don't see that beating myself up over them is going to be productive.

Health problems have forced me to be more sensible about things I can reasonably or safely do, which is rather frustrating because my instinctive first reaction is to think: 'Of course I could do that, it's ME!' But nowadays I have to be realistic or else I end up pushing myself to hard and having to deal with the consequences later.

For example I've recently been planning to get back into drawing/painting. Because I have a lot of stiffness and pain in my wrists and finger joints I have mostly focused on computer 3D and digital image creation rather than traditional on-paper stuff for the last few years. But I'm temped to get back into it when I get a bit of time to dedicate. The problem with this is I have to be realistic about the standard I can achieve. Not only do I have more physical difficulties now but I'm also out of practice. Telling myself that the results might not be as good as they used to is one thing, but I know once I get started I will be pushing myself to do as good as I can, and probably wear myself out in the process.

^This. A lot of people assume I am unconfident because I'm the quiet introvert by default, then look confused when it turns out I'm not. Most people will make a simplistic assumption about others around them that brash=high confidence and shy=low confidence, when it can be the other way around. Those of us who are quietly self-assured tend to be overlooked because it is hidden.



To those on this thread who struggle with self esteem, you are all awesome. Don't let anyone make you doubt it.

 

My self esteem is pretty much non-existent at this point I have moments where I start to feel confident but every time I make a little progress something happens and my anxiety and insecurities take over and I just end up back where I started.

 

My self-esteem is pretty low, but it's slooooowly getting better, I think.

I'm very critical of my appearance, especially when it comes to my skin and hair. I have a skin condition, and if I break out, especially on my face, I feel extremely insecure at times. And if I feel like my is frizzy or something, I start to worry. But, on occasion, despite having my skin condition break out on my face, I feel pretty.

My self-esteem is a slightly higher when it comes to my personalty. There are some aspects about myself I'm not quite fond of, but I know in my heart I'm genuinely a good person who means well.

 

I use to have really low self esteem on my physical appearance…its definitely gone up since a few years ago tho.

 

Quite a lot actually :icon_bigg

As far as things to increase self-esteem: I would suggest something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and are fairly easy to measure. My first throught is some form of exercise that you can readily track (running, swimming laps, cross-country biking, or the like). I would say weightlifting if you really want to, but I notice that a lot of guys go to the gym and then get depressed when they see the really big and buffed up guys or the guys with washboard abs who make us mere mortals want to :bang:

With things like running, you can compete against your best self in a trackable manner rather than basing it on appearance (a very subjective factor that can be influenced by everything from genetics to chemicals). Martial arts is also a confidence/self-esteem builder. Note that in both of these examples it is normal to start out much less capable than you will eventually become. Nobody starts out an expert at anything - once you realize that, early failures and/or lack of ability compared to the more experienced around you are easier to take until you develop a baseline level of ability. If you choose martial arts, don't be afraid to shop around to find a style and an instructor that you like.

Finally, and on a somewhat different note:

I looked at your pictures on your profile and you have absolutely zero need for plastic surgery.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

It would appear to be higher to an outsider observing me than how I would assess it. I'd say it's ok. I know my limits - places, cars, and possessions I can't afford, people I couldn't keep company with, jobs I could never have, and that sort of stuff. It doesn't bother me much because I don't need much.

I think that it started out on a decent note as a kid because I was slightly more academically capable and praised for knowing a lot of about many things for my young age but it took a HUGE downhill slide in high school and college, Late high school and early college were easily the worst years of my life, and they shouldn't be. Then, my self esteem slowly started ascending as I became more independent and didn't care much what people thought about my opinions, quirks, and general approach to life. By about 10 or 15 years after college, if anyone thought I was weird, opinionated, different, or whatever else, I would just think to myself, "Fuck you" and avoid them.