What are you thinking?

Order a new bra online, not only did they send me the wrong size, they are not refunding the shipping and I have to pay to ship it back. I am now out $10.

 

Yeah, the pictures. I don't know where that guy went, but there's someone else in the mirror now.

And transitioning THAT late? Hell no. If I must wait even until I am 30, I'll end my life. I cannot take it anymore.
Supposedly here you can take T at 17. I'm 16 this year. I tell myself it's only one more year, but is it? My family is unaccepting. Will I even be able to go on T then?
Really it's about NOW anyways. Now, when I can't look in the mirror. I hate everything about this body.

 

Milk/Cream and Bärenjäger is addictively good. Especially for how simple it is.

 

Last Week: Republicans are speaking out against Obama's attempts to push for the reinstatement of the most vital part of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 that was struck down by the Supreme court previously. Claiming, "There is no longer a need for it. The South has changed. We don't live in a world of racism and discrimination anymore."

This Week: University of Oklahoma is under fire as fraternity releases videos singing and chanting about "banning n***rs from joining and lynching those who tried".



And so the plot thickens...

 

This is what I've been saying about the right since Obama first took office. When you call them out on the fact that they use Obama and the N-word together in every sentence, they say that it's you that's a racist, not them!

 

I hate the sounds of people laughing while I'm suffering in pain.

---------- Post added 10th Mar 2015 at 09:50 AM ----------

Just fucking sleep already so I won't hear your voices.

 

Connectomics...
Also cookies...
And going to bed... Maybe.

 

I just honestly feel so sad. I live life in a fantasy and I hate it when I'm woken up. lol.

I mean, oh well... what happens, happens, right?! yeah... i just, gotta, uh... go with the flow, haha. It's time to be, uh, happier, by being more honest with myself... and, uh, I'm making no sense.

Good night EC. It's nice to be back even if i didn't really go. haha

 

Why team why?!?

It's 45 minutes into a league game. We just had a teamfight where their only surviving teammates are Corki and Rengar, and I was the only one who died on my team. So my team starts shoving up mid lane, which is fine. The only problem is that we have an open nexus with no turrets. With our wards, we easily see that both Rengar and Corki are making a run towards the Nexus. I'm pinging like crazy that they're coming and that my team needs to back. And what happens? Lissandra backs. That's it. One out of four teammates. The other three continue pushing mid for some idiotic reason. Needless to say, Corki and Rengar were easily able to end the game.

If it is clear from a quarter of the map away that they're trying to backdoor, go back to base and defend! What is so freakin' hard to understand about that? Ughh...stupid team is stupid :tantrum:

/end rant

 

For the first time in a while, I actually feel at peace.

 

I just looked in the mirror.


And you know what....


I'm not that bad...




Maybe it was the half hour of kabuki-style dancing (which I've recently taken up because I seriously need to do some kind of exercise).
Maybe it was that my mother sincerely apologised and said she had no idea I was suffering so much.. And will try to acknowledge my true gender instead of the one she sees me as.

Perhaps the fact that no one referred to me as male was messing with my head.
Or perhaps I just need to loose weight (chubby face = more female looking especially pre-T)
Or maybe both.

---------- Post added 10th Mar 2015 at 12:56 PM ----------

Damn, I don't even know what happened to me. It's like I snapped out of it all of a sudden.

What happened to that strong, takes-no-shit guy I used to be? Don't know. But I won't loose that part of me again.

 

My favorite part about these arguments are how passionate heterosexuals or cisgender individuals can become in attempting to discount the possibility of someone being born with another identity. Honestly, it is like what are we even arguing about? We can disprove the idea that humans are born straight. We can disprove so much of the idea of gender and expression being based on sex. There is just so many arguments that can be struck down.

However, even if we couldn't, what is achieved by having this argument? What is the purpose? People will lose there minds and storm off as if they are the ones who are being invalidated.

 

Never thought suicide would ever become an option, I know its a selfish act and there are ways to cope positively, but IDK they say to talk to others when these thoughts surface, I'm more afraid of the consequences than the actual act its self, but as I said before talking about it only shows weakness and the need for attention. I'm not afraid of death im afraid of everything else it just feels hopeless even though logically i know its not i don't know what to do.

 

Oh, how I wish I could just float out of this body sometimes... :-l

 

I'm going to lose my mind if I put up with the Smell of marijuana for a month... :tantrum:

 

Man I miss that smell.

 

Do you have anyone to talk to about this?