What are you thinking?

Damn it, now I can't wait for Season 4 of House of Cards...

 

Just left my bike at work to drive home in a Mini Convertible cause the weather is just SO NICE. Actually not just driving home - I took a 30 minute detour. Convertibles are fun. I want one.

After all the rain, the cold and the gray skies I never thought this day would come again

 

Again someone spoke to me in russian.
Again I had to explain (in german) I'm not russian.
Again... I'm thinking in learning some russian and just go with the flow, pretending I am truly russian. They might be right, I don't know, maybe I'm russian...

 

i should probably get out of bed and study for my exams

 

I think I blew my potential boss's mind.

The interview went very well. So well, the director asked me if I could have a 2-page-length response, for him sometime this week. I, having presumed they would ask something like this, handed them a 3-page-length paper.

They asked how I knew what the topic would be on, and I told them, something along the lines of:

"You're a newspaper, but you're also a business. I believe you'd want to know, anybody you hire, is going to be a benefit. This is why I wrote a little about me, some of my writing credentials, and what I can bring to this paper."

They were impressed, at this, and for me not wanting to waste their time. However, they tried to ask me if I could e-mail it to them, as a physical copy was nice but extra copies are better. I told him, I'd already sent him a copy, as well as a second e-mail, containing a copy of my physical copy, to the newspaper's general e-mail, before I had left to come for the interview.

While I wasn't told that I have the job officially, I would like to think they won't turn me away, for being overly prepared. The fact a second interview was scheduled, leaves me with much hope, that this will work out.

But I feel sort of bad that, to even get here, I had to resort to some shady actions. For the past several months, I would, every other week, send the newspaper typed articles, on various subjects and events, to get my name engraved into their memories. This, while making them interested, wasn't getting me what I wanted. So, about a week ago, I wrote up a "review" of their newspaper... and I made their paper sound like the most incredible place to work, and really put the charm on the director and owner in it.

I baited their ego, and they bit the hook.

So, while I'm not surprised this got me in the door, I still feel a little bad, because, once again, when I indulge in manipulative tendencies, as opposed to 'playing by the rules', things happen, faster and better. Things like this are exactly why I struggle with my constant improvement.

Nonetheless, if I ignore how I sped up the process of getting to the interview, there is some pride to take in my interview conduct. I just had to skip classes today to do it, but that shouldn't be a problem. I was a fuckin' boss, and they damn well know it!

LOL.

 

Someone that isn't me just tried (and failed) to log on to EC as me.

I'm genuinely baffled as to who that is and why you'd bother hacking my account. I'm boring yo!

 

I'm transsexual. I must force my body to change, because it won't change the right way on it's own. The longer I wait to take hormones, the more this body will turn into a woman.

 

My low salt diet was not as hard today as it was yesterday.

 

Tomorrow will be the first day it will get above 40F since November 16th! Woot! Woot! (!)

 

It's the second monday this month which means it's getting closer to the swimming competition in April. I am a bit anxious but mostly excited for this to happen. I haven't had a vacation in awhile.

 

<3 Superfruit.

[YOUTUBE]ziNVvFMOtLc[/YOUTUBE]

Also I am back from PAX east. The boyfriend and I went as media and we got some awesome stuff. Super tired though.

 

Fuck yes. I'm done with exams... for now. Two weeks of absolute freedom. No examssssssssssssss. Time to get caught up on sleep and TV shows <3

 

Getting my tattoo ideas together. Now all I need is money.

 

There are trans people who take hormones as late as sixty years old and still transition fine.

This is a fear I have as well. If I can't transition now, I'll never be able to live the life I want. Right?

You have to understand that this isn't true. This is a false fear. It's going to be very, very difficult, obviously. I understand, because it just now clicked in my mind that I'm actually going through puberty and I'm getting dysphoria a hell lot more now -- but this dysphoria will go away one day.

You have to be patient. I swear sometimes it feels like you just can't and that you just feel trapped, but you CAN do it and it IS possible and it WILL happen.

Just take it one day at a time, man. From the pictures I've seen, you pass very well and you even passed in a skirt once, right? Remember those days in a positive light. Don't say "in the future, I won't be able to do that" or "I can't do that now" or "that was just luck" -- tell yourself "in the future, i would be able to do that again" or "i can do that now if i tried" and "i did that because i honestly looked like a guy".

Remember: Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No.

You can do it. (*hug*)

EDIT:

And, if you don't mind a little reading:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/08/f...its-never-too-late-to-make-a-change.html?_r=0
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=31354.0
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=90798.0
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=30836.0

Despite that, I believe most trans people who transition do transition early in life, so there is a good chance you'll be able to too.

 

why can't i just be a boy...

 

That feeling when you're listening to your favourite album again for the first time in months. Feels so. fucking. good.

 

That moment when you have a mini-argument with someone, being conscious that you're slightly irrational but keep going for the sake of it...

 

Just watched the first episode of House for the sake of procrastination - holy crap did Wilson look young then!

 

My bandanas are being shipped. ^_^