What are you thinking?

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who sees the similarities in Erika Linder's more male-oriented appearances and Leonardo DiCaprio's looks.

 

I tried to sleep a few hours ago and I had some of the worst sleep paralysis in my life.

I put a sign on my ceiling that says "If you can read this; SLEEP PARALYSIS! Demons ain't real." In hindsight, it was a bad idea to put the thought of demons into my head.

I got the idea after reading a thread here because I wanted to remember the next time it happened and well it worked. I should be able to laugh about it later but right now I'm just going to heal myself with Satanic Black Metal.

 

I wish I would have actually went to high school!!!!!!!!!

Damn being a gypsy! It sucks! I don't know what anything means in this world! I want knowledge! I want to be smart!

I've been looking up "what is a degree", "what is a major", "what courses do I have to take to be a _____"......Ect ect. And it's annoying the f*** out of me that I don't understand any of it!!!!

:bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:

 

Great night with the PFLAG friends.

 

I hope they're both doing okay. I'm always worried when friends don't log in in a while. Especially right after they ask me for some particularly hard advice.

 

I've experienced something similar a few times. Except mine were with spiders. Earthly creatures. Not spawns of Satan...

 

My dysphoria has been pretty bad. No, really bad.

It's my face. I may look good in my pictures, at least the ones I don't delete.
But not when I look in the mirror. I just don't see a boy, no matter what, I feel like this fucking face is a fucking female face.
I don't know if I'm just seeing things.. But even if I wait a while, until I'm feeling better, and then catch a glance at myself in the mirror, there it is. There is someone staring back at me, and it's not me. It's like someone trying to be me. It's like some chick put on androgynous goth clothing and started impersonating me.

I'm a boy, not a girl. I'm not a girl. Why is there a female in the mirror?

It's just getting worse. Like a disease that spreads through the body. I feel, as I get older my body is getting even more female. While I'm male inside... I want to go on T now, I want to stop this disease, cure it. It's changing me to a monster. Disfiguring my face like it disfigured my body. A disease that I can't cure until one more year..... But can it wait that long? Will the disease have taken it's toll already? The longer I wait, the more it will leave it's scars.


Or maybe I'm just seeing things.

 

Fuck. My life really is exactly like a movie.

I need to be careful what I wish for....

 

Sorry chat room, had to leave because shitty phone was acting up. Wish I could use my iPad, but alas, no Flash player.

 

There's the Puffin app for iOS if you want flash to work.

 

Thanks I will try it.


Edit: doesn't work on free version

 

I ran into another FTM drag queen (online) and I have to say, I'm pretty excited and happy about it. It turns out that there are a lot of people like me, which makes me feel better about myself and what I'm doing. This motivates me even more to do the youtube channel I wanted to start up. I'm sure there's more. There are people out there who want to do this and I need to open that door for them.

 

Nothing. And everything.

 

OMG! You are so right. She is very attractive to me. I liked Leonardo from back in the day, but I could never admit it to myself at the time. I could totally date someone like that..that is if I didn't have a bf.

 

I hate winter. Got my car stuck in my parents' driveway in a bungled attempt to go get milk.

 

My life's boooooring... x)

 

And mine is way too exciting :icon_sad:

I want a boring life with a boring wife... Eh, no, forget the boring wife... I want a boring life with an exciting wife

 

I am thinking it is great to get out of bed on a cold morning and having a hot cup of coffee.

 

Me after work this morning:





Have presentation to construct for tomorrow too :/