Why is race such a big deal in the gay community?

I don't think its really intolerant, skin color/facial structure are physical traits and everyone has preferences.

 

Because race is a big deal in human society.

 

Social Justice Wario

 

Yes, physical traits like the Jewish nose, the Chinese penis and the African brain are well documented scientifically...

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A lot of gay people are irreconcilably racist, and it's worth remembering how utterly disgusting any person can be regardless of their sexuality.

We all see at least one form of discrimination in the LGBT community, but it might actually increase the vitriol of how many of us treat others from our positions of social privilege when we're only slightly disadvantaged.

So close to being near the top of a social hierarchy that largely benefits some, some turn to being atrociously hostile or demeaning to those they perceive to be their inferiors to ingratiate themselves with the people they somewhat acknowledge as superiors or just to express their frustration at not being quite at the top as they feel they deserve.

Queerness is not a bigotry vaccine.

 

Because, as much as this 'community' claims to want respect/acceptance/blah blah blah, it has way too many issues of its own; a lot of it being hypocritical(goes for a lot of the 'unwanted stuff', such as fems, chubbier guys, different kind of -phobias within itself, etc., ya di da).

Sometimes I seriously question why it spouts all this stuff about tolerance when there's much to fix in itself.

Except in many cases, it is intolerant. A lot of these same guys OP is describing won't even give you the time of day if you don't fit their ideal search criteria; obviously race/ethnicity in this case. You could be perfect friend material otherwise(because nobody is forcing you to be attracted to anybody) but, no, you aren't even worth that.

These same guys are the exact ones harping on about how they want acceptance for being lgbt and all that nonsense, yet somehow don't (want to) see how hypocritical/ignorant they are their damn selves.


I try to keep away from these type of threads though, as they generally lead to nothing, so I'll take my leave with this post.

 

Some people with their preferences would never date a person they don't find attractive. And that's understandable. If one doesn't find another attractive, it affects the relationship. It's when they refuse to even think about being in a relationship with someone because of their race that is intolerant.

 

This

 

And sometimes some gays like to play into the stereotypes

Black-has a big cock and only wants to fuck
White- feminine bottom boy
Mexican- a thug looking for a gay old time
Asian- is very very small

When will the stereotyping and the so called "preferences" end?

 

Sexual racism is a huge problem in the gay community.

I think you guys are beautiful. (*hug*)

 

The LGBTQ community isn't immune to societal ills, sadly. I've seen a few racist, sexist, and self hating LGBTQ people in my short time being out.

 

best of luck finding someone who isn't a bigot that can love you. (*hug*)

 

that's quite the contradiction, and makes no sense. i mean, anyone can claim innocence by claiming they are "open" and free and hippie like. i can honestly say i am open to the idea of being with a woman, but you'll never see me with one. so instead i just call myself gay. there are of course, more appropriate means of approaching these topics, for instance, if i say i am not particularly attracted to thin lips and pasty skin, it does not mean i am not attracted to white people altogether, thus i wouldn't be ignorant enough to say something along the lines of "no whites" at whatever opportunity. that is the difference between decent people like yourself and i, and indecent people.

also, 'if you're good looking, you're good looking' is suggestive of a universally accepted idea attractiveness, and conflicts with another of your points, being that if 'Certain races have certain features that one may find attractive', then certain races have certain features that one may not find attractive.

do not lose hope, there is someone out there for everyone, which means there's someone out there with a set of ideals that will go hand in hand with yours

but as a final point, if you're prepared to put so much emphasis on "race", a mere social construct, then be prepared for "white people" as you call them, and other peoples let's not forget, to look at you in the same light.

 

This.

Personally, I do not have many limitations on what I am open too--I do not even think that I technically have a defined "type". I have been attracted to all sorts of men from radically feminine men, to insanely masculine men, to thin guys, to fat guys, to Black, Asian, Hispanic, and White guys. For me, the guys I find myself attracted to do not have necessarily any unique physical qualities.

I just made a quick list of all the things I look for in a man (Intelligence, Humor, Inner Confidence / Pride, Quiet Romantic, Sexually Open Minded--just to name a few). None of them had anything to do with physical appearance. Honestly, if I find a guy that is my type I do not care what package he comes in, if he is my type I will most likely find him sexy.

How many times have we heard people cry about not being able to find a man? Then you find out what they are looking for and it is almost always: White, "straight acting" (ugggghhhh), young, athletic body, etc. etc. etc. No wonder they cannot find a man, they just disqualified like more than 50% of the potential dating pool.

 

I doubt it's just the gay community. I think it's probably just something you notice if you frequent gay dating sites or hookup websites/apps. Have you ever seen those websites specifically for Black, Jewish, or Asian people? It's prevalent in the straight community as well, as you will see in tv commercials! I don't think most gay people are that different than straight people except their preference for the same sex.

While I don't necessarily think it's intolerant I can see why people would have problems with posting it. In some ways it's good because it prevents people from wasting time (seen Asians who only want to date Asians ONLY for example -- don't even waste my time messaging them and having them ignore me, leaving me wondering what's wrong with me). Everyone has preferences but it does in a way compartmentalize people too.

In addition, is like to say: ugh this topic again.

 

Exactly this. =)

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confuseduser99, you can find someone. Not everyone cares about race. And it's possible for you to find a boyfriend too. My boyfriend is Puerto Rican, and I am Dutch-Ukranian. It's possible. Don't let the haters live your life. (*hug*)

 

I don't think that it's just a big deal in the LGBTQ+ community but more as a part of society, like Gen said. Dating preferences doesn't equal to how they feel about them friend-wise. For example, Lesbians aren't interested in dating men but that doesn't mean that they hate them, it just means that they're not interested in them.

 

i don't find asians physically attractive, therefore, i'd never date one. but i have a close friend who's asian and awesome. everybody likes what they like. it doesn't make them racist or discriminating.

 

No, but when you repeatedly voice these "preferences" to keep others away, it does become a problem. Take into consideration which group of people are usually the ones setting the standards of what is or isn't attractive.