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Really depressed because of best friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Wilzyax, Nov 20, 2014.

  1. Wilzyax

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    Not out at all
    The last week have been a completely living hell. The reason is my best friend who won't have anything to do with me all of a sudden. We have been so close for the last year, and he have eventold me we would be best friend for ever no matter what. I have suspected him for being gay for a while, because he is very touchy around me. He would sit close to me, stroke my face of all things and always complement me. But in the last weeks he have been more distant, more afraid of closeness and touching, but still he find occations and excuses to try to feel my groin or caress my hair, which I find strange. He even have sent me a nude pic, but he said he just wanted to see my reaction, and my reaction was to ignore the picture. And he always got very angry if I ever questioned his sexuality due to his touching. He would scream that he isn's gay, or even hitting and attacking me, and I always tell him to chill out. I have always had a crush on him, and some times I joked with it, which usually makes him even angrier. Everyone thinks i am straight, he too, and he always tell me it isn't funny when I joke about me being gay. I try to ask him what's the problem, because it seem to be okey whenever he joke about gay stuff, strange... So I think he is gay mostly because he get angry when i question his sexuality, because he find excuses to touch me, and because he occantely tries to grab or feel my balls. So he always been very homophobic, but just some days ago, when we were hanging out together we were started to talk about sexuality, because I had have sexual education at school that day (he had asked about my school day). So I told him that my teacher had stated that every human were born bisexual, and that the persons we fall in love with choose our sexual orientation . And he told me that it made sense, so I asked him "how could that make sense when you always tell me that you are straight? You do know that this teory imply that you are bisexual?". He sais yes, that he did understand, and we changed subject. The next day he wouldn't answer my calls, so choosed to leave him a visit, that ended up with him completely ignoring me before leaving the house. Now it's been a whole week, he has still blocked my phone number and whenever I am around he ignores me completely and won't answer me (we have the same friends, and we both training on hockey in the afternoon, so I have seen him 3-4 times in the last week). It does really hurt, we used to do hockey together, talk several walks outside, movie nights, sleepover, and texting each other constantly. And all of a sudden I hates me, I've tried to ask what I did wrong, tried to tell him how much he meant to me, and tell him how much I miss being friend, or if it is anything I can do to make it better. I have tried to tell I am sorry, even thought I not know what I did wrong. But he won't answer me, and it really hurts. But the stranges thing is that he started poking me on facebook after 6 days of ignoring, and the 7th day I've met him at hockey, and he completely locked me out, acting like I was invicible. Now its been 8 days, he poked me on the 6th day several times throught the whole day, but after 2AM he stopped, and I haven't hear from him ever since, he haven't poked me eithet in the last 2 days.
    I thought everything started to be okey when I started poking me again, but I guess not.
    What should I do? I can't handle this much longer! Does he question his sexuality, because he only acts this way towards me, so I know it has something to do about me. Please help! Any advide are appriciated, really.
     
    #1 Wilzyax, Nov 20, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2014
  2. Tardis2020

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    He's gay, or at least something other than straight, and he likes you. He doesn't want to be anything other than straight and can't accept it. Are you out to him? If so, and you're comfortable with it, I think eventually when he stabilizes you should come out to him, but NOT now. He seems too unstable now. I recommend you come across as an ally. Don't use gay slurs or make gay jokes. When people say homophobic things don't let it slide. Talk about/stand up for gay rights if you get the chance. That might make him more comfortable around you.
     
  3. Wilzyax

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    Thanks so much for the reply. Not to sound dumb, but I can't seem to think straight these days, but what makes you sure he is some sort of gay? And how can I make him talk to me again?
     
  4. kumawool

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    Wow what a complete door knob.

    There's not a lot you can do, but hope he will come to you. If he ever talks to you again, you could probably come out to him.

    Don't let his homophobia go any longer, make casually affirming comments, doing otherwise... it's creating a confusing relationship for you both, clearly.

    You might need to get a new best friend, sadly...
     
  5. Tardis2020

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    You said it yourself and I quote:
    "stroke my face"
    "try to feel my groin or caress my hair"
    "He even have sent me a nude pic"
    That's not something done by straight guys.
    Also he get very defensive of his sexuality.
    I don't know how to get him to talk to you, sorry
    Hope it all works out (*hug*)