Catching myself being sexist/misogynistic

This is a really interesting post, with interesting replies. It's something I never heard about before. Thanks!

 

I have my misogynic moments too. Been having them since I was little.
I am scared of the female body. Hate is the natural consequence of every fear. Making offensive jokes is the consequence of fear. By this I am not saying it´s all right to be misogynic, I am trying to reveal what in my case led to misogyny.

 

Oh grow up misogynists :lol: if you can help your feelings please do. We all know women aren't disgusting. Infact your mother is a woman.

 

Yeah, I am aware of this. But this isn´t helping me to like - or even be less scared of vaginas at all.
See, I don´t like children, too, even though I once was one. *shrugs*

 

Ok, I'm probably not completely qualified to be a part of this discussion, being on the opposite end of the spectrum and all, but so far, all the trans guys I've met (admittedly only about 10 or so, haven't been at this that long) have been absolute sweethearts, and utterly respectful. Whether that's them catching themselves and they do it from time to time, or what have you, I've never experienced misogyny from trans guys.

Looking outside my limited group of personally known trans boys, I think it comes down to learned and inherited behaviour. As someone else said, I don't think trans guys are inherently more susceptible than cis guys of being misogynistic, but rather it's the environment they grew up around, and how the people in that environment reacted to women.

There's nothing specifically misogynistic about a trans guy saying "I'm not a girl, that's not me." or even necessarily not understanding "girl stuff" (of course, what consititutes that is another discussion entirely), I think it can be just a statement of fact. I think the verging on misogyny comes in with the feelings of revulsion or hated, and that I think is the learned behaviour.

 

As I have crossed the border from female to male, I have noticed myself thinking increasingly badly of women. It's a flaw which I acknowledge and would like to put an end to but somehow I can't help myself. I think it's subconscious.

Growing up I had no idea that I was trans and most of the few friendships I had throughout school, college and university were with girls. Although I didn't feel like I exactly fitted in, I got along pretty well with girls and immersed myself in girly stuff. I never found it annoying or repulsive. But since realizing I'm trans, I won't go near anything remotely girly. I find myself disgusted by everything about women - their fashion, their hobbies, their conversations, their behavior and especially their bodies - so much so that I'm back to questioning my orientation again. It's actually quite ridiculous.

While coming to terms with being trans, I read a lot of information on the internet. Some trans guys described how post testosterone and transition, they found women annoying and didn't want to join in their conversations anymore. I think I must have internalized some of it because I already feel this way and I'm not even on testosterone! Perhaps it doesn't help that I was raised in an environment where misogyny was accepted as just a normal part of male behavior. I'm ashamed to admit this but on some level, I find misogynistic thinking as validating of my gender identity :icon_redf

 

Yeah i feel i have this problem too. Like, there's a line between not wanting to be seen as a girl because, like, youre not one, and thinking that mocking girls will make you a boy. Masculinity isnt about the hatred of girls.

 

I'm always afraid of being seen as misogynistic - in fact, I'm afraid that my desire to be seen as a male, the lengths that I'm willing to go to to make sure I'm seen as a male, the very transition itself, is, in some way, a form of misogyny. But the thing is, I don't think badly of women. I don't pre-judge women for their gender. I am remarkably unafraid of the feminine, and I embrace it in myself as much as I do the masculine, considering both to be necessary elements of the human experience - especially as the concepts of "masculine" and "feminine" change with time and across cultures.

I acknowledge all that about myself and my views. And I still worry I have misogynistic tendencies.

 

I don't know if I'm a transguy, but I have definitely rejected the female gender and that has led me to the question of misogyny as well. I am all for gender equality and my actions are never misogynistic, but sometimes the thoughts I have or judgements I make of people make me wonder if I am subconsciously misogynistic. For example, I used to look down upon "feminine" personalities as inferior -- completely wrong, I know and I am shamed for it, and I have learned to respect all personalities, but I still think like that sometimes. I don't know if it's because the "ideal me" is physically unachievable and just so far from the image womanhood typically represents and that I have come to hate the characteristics in others as well. I know that this problem stems from embracing the gender stereotypes, but habits of thought are really hard to break sometimes.

 

well. I don't have other girls for me being an ftm, actually all my friends are female. and I know what you are trying to say, its like you are being a macho man, right?
being unfriends with females wouldn't make you a "more manly" as your point of view. you are already a man, so no need for that.

 

I hate admitting it but I have thoughts like that too. And it's not just about women. I've appalled myself with some of the fleeting thoughts I've had about feminity itself. And part of that's that I just happen to be attracted to masculine people.

But you know, just gotta remind myself that there's nothing wrong with being feminine and/or being a woman. It just isn't me. And there are plenty of awesome feminine and/or female people out there.

 

I worry about this too.

 

I have to admit I always wonder why so many men try so hard to protect their masculinity because it never seemed that great to me. I don't think I dislike men, I just don't understand a lot of the stuff they typically like. For example beer, sports, and not unicorns.

 

Sounds like internalized misogyny

is it just me or does that seem common among transmen

 

Maybe it has to do with our insecurities about our own bodies/identities and the way people perceive us? Like - we try extra hard to be manly, and we're bitter about being perceived as women, so we take it out on them?

I'm a feminist transgender man, though…. I'm working hard to combat my innate misogyny :icon_wink