How Well Do You Take Compliments?

Compliments don't tend to have much of an impact on me. It's not that I don't like receiving them or anything of that nature. They just roll right off of me, like water off a duck's back -- if that makes any sense whatsoever -- and I have no idea why. I just smile, thank the compliment-er, and sometimes play it off with a pun of my last name depending on what it was they were complimenting.

Of course, there are so many different kinds of compliments. I tend to receive physically-based compliments (the non-pervy kind) better from strangers or people I don't know that well, while I take personality-based compliments better from those people that do know me well. And, on the whole, I would much rather be complimented on the work I've done than anything else. (Teachers' pet, much?)

In any case, I used to be extremely scared that people were actually being sarcastic, to the point where I would actually get upset if people paid me compliments, no matter how genuine they actually were. That slowly changed once I decided to take control of my confidence.

As far as giving compliments goes, I'm a bit... lacking. I think nice stuff about people all the time, but I hardly ever say it out loud. If I do say it out loud, I hardly ever actually say it to the person who I'm actually giving it to. I'll mostly just turn to my friends and say something like "Hey, see that person over there? I really, really like their outfit." Then again, clothes are something that I feel more comfortable complimenting people on directly. But anything else beyond "You're so kind!" is a no-go as far as my tongue is concerned.

I feel like I could probably write an entire memoir on my experience with compliments. Maybe that's what my autobiography will be.

 

Well, I think it depends on who's giving me the compliment.

If its from someone who's just friend-zoned in my mind, I can handle it okay.

But if comes from a person I'm developing some interest for, I go a little red and try my best to change the topic of conversation or look away and stuff

 

I love compliments!!! Well, only when I think the person is sincere - But yes, I really love them! I'd always say thank you and give compliments back to that person as well! I'm shy, but if you give a compliment, I won't hesitate on telling you how much I appreciate it (in my squeaky, soft shy voice lol^^)

 

It always surprises me when someone compliments me. It's very flattering.

 

Kaiser, I feel this question is somewhat pointed in my direction *smile*...you've commented on this before with respect to me.

I have a very complicated relationship with compliments. First, I question everything in life...everything. I also despise manipulation. So something as potentially manipulating as a compliment I certainly question, especially when I don't see myself as due...or don't see the complimenter as having grounds (even if I am due).

And then there's my ego. It seems to be simultaneously huge and tiny. I know I'm smart, capable, etc. I know some are amused by my sense of humor (or at least sense of the bizarre). I know I have skills worth appreciating. But I'm in such danger of letting these things go to my head that I basically find myself reflexively questioning or outright shutting out compliments.

From late childhood to young teen-hood (maybe ages 9-15) I know I felt very disliked by schoolmates (I'm not certain this was true...just that I felt it). I did get a lot of teasing over my vocabulary, and the fact that I enjoyed reading. I was often told that I thought I was better than everyone else...which was so far from the truth: I assumed most people were as intelligent or more so than I was, and I saw everyone else as so much more socially facile and physically competent than I was.

I've grown and changed a *lot* since then...in many phases. Some of those phases were entirely positive...those helped inflate my ego; some were negative...those deflated it. I'm left desperately trying *not* to have an opinion of myself, positive or negative. It's not easy...I seem to be the kind of person about whom people (myself included) have an opinion. And compliments don't help me maintain that neutrality. Same with insults and slights...you may notice that I don't accept those (except when appropriate or due to me) any more gracefully than I do compliments.

So it's not that they don't feel wonderful. They do. It's just...complicated.

 

It depends on the nature of the compliment and the context. Potential reactions:

1. Be thankful and show that I was flattered by it

2. Laugh

3. Become embarrassed

4. Minimize it, if I didn't think it was a big deal or to take attention off of something

5. Be thankful, albeit in a serious and cautionary tone (that is, if there is something deceptive or an ulterior motive I detect).

 

They make me cringe, every time.

So I imagine I handle them poorly.

 

I smile a little... close my eyes, and shake it off. It hurts quite a bit when people compliment me. It usually was not the case, back sometime ago it would get my hopes a little high for the day... but at the end of the day it's still the same. And things have gotten worse. Now compliments are just a reminder of how incapable I am. It reminds me that no matter what I do or how hard I try, my failure as a human being is well... innate. I don't receive compliments well... but it's not too bad... I don't receive them often anyway nowadays.

 

I always get embarrassed when someone compliments me. ._.

 

I don't really get many compliments to begin with :lol: But if I ever do my initial reaction is that they're being sarcastic or someone put them up to it and then I try to change the subject.

 

I love compliments

 

I'm always surprised when someone compliments me so my usual response is something like "Uhhh guhhh duhhh ummm thanks...?" Or I'll reply with a really lame compliment like "Thank you. Nice um socks by the way..."

 

Don't need them and don't like them, specially when coming from strangers.
I don't think you can trust a compliment, you can only trust a "thank you".

 

Ok dear...I didn't think you made it with me solely in mind...my ego isn't *that* huge . I was just acknowledging our previous conversation.

 

How to take a compliment

"You look nice"

Option A - the awkward rebuttal:
"No I don't"

Option B - the self-depricating acceptance through gritted teeth:
"Eh, thanks, but my skin is awful today"

Option C - the appropriate response:
"Aw thank you"

Option D - the appropriate response with thoughtful reflection:
"Aw thanks, so do you"

Option E - the ego injection:
"Aw thanks, you're looking great in your little floral number"

Option F - the I don't know who you are/haven't seen you in years:
"Aw thanks! Did you get a haircut?"

Option G - the bringing out the sass:
"And to think I just roll out of bed like this every morning"


I think the trick to taking a compliment well is to think about what the other person really wants to hear as a response, and not your own personal take on matters.

 

I love compliments but i always get awkward ... and i really really don't know why !
I also get the need to compliment them about something, so i just kinda stare at them and find something to say:eusa_doh:.

I don't know it just gets weird .....:icon_sad:

 

I usually accept a compliment and say 'thanks' but that doesn't mean I'll believe it. You see, I have self-esteem issues so I find it extremely difficult to see positives in most situations. Good situations seem neutral to me, and neutral situations seem negative.

So because of this, a compliment will make me smile on the outside but it's fake. And I know that's wrong, because I do believe that most compliments I get are sincere and true. But I still won't accept them internally.

 

Hence some of my distaste re: manipulation. If they are complimenting me in order to elicit a response, then personally I wish they'd just be direct and come out and say what's on their damned mind, and stop playing stupid little ego-stroking games.

Every time I hear "hey, I give a compliment every chance I get...it doesn't cost me anything, and you never know what you'll get back", I just want to throw up. Ego games for personal gain. Does not impress me.