Yesterday, I was at a youth-to-youth conference where we discussed some controversial topics which was very cool and all to meet all these new people and hear their ideas. But once we reached to talking about lesbian/gay prejudice, all the open ideas took a turn for the worst. Now I'm not out except to a few people, so when somebody at my group asked, "Is anybody here gay?" I didn't raise my hand. Then they suddenly all started talking about how it was a choice to be gay, and how it takes some traumatic experience like being assaulted to turn someone. How if you grew up in a feminine household, you're more likely to be gay. The worst, to me, was when they said, "I think it goes back to self-esteem. If you're lonely and not in a relationship, you become gay, so you can be in one." After each assumption, they kept saying that they had gay friends and are okay with them, since if they hang out with their gay friends, they would be able to pick up more girls. By that point, I was really angry. I started cutting people off and staring at them incredulously. Even the adult supervisor of the group agreed with them. I guess, I never really expected people my age to have this homophobic stigma with them, especially at a conference held by a liberal organization on coming out day. And I know that if I did raise my hand, then the conversation would have been more restricted. After it, I felt a lot less confident about coming out because I'm thinking that if I did come out, some of my friends would say they'd be okay with me when they're really not. I was wondering if you guys had been in this situation before and how do you respond?
I've never been in a situation like that. Other than my homophobic nd racist brother. Who says that all gays should die, are freaks, and that they belong in hell. I just tell him that he sounds like he's denying being gay. Also, you can never assume a person's opinions on lgbt people just based on religious or political beliefs. Plenty of atheist, Christians, Muslims, Jews and people of every other religion are pro-lgbt and plenty are against same with conservatives and liberals.
I would have lost it, at that point, with laughter. Seriously, if you wanted to be in a relationship so badly, being bisexual/pansexual would increase your dating options. Homosexuality tends to limit the numbers. Unless these individuals are going out and harming others, I'd just laugh at their ignorance. Unless you're willing to take a stand and 'inform' them, of their lack of knowledge, or come out and show that sexuality is more complex, than what they believe, there isn't much else you can do.
You're right. The organization itself is actually pro-LGBT, and the head person talks about gay rights and equality a lot. I used the wrong word in describing the organization. Sorry to anyone I offended!
This actually reminds me of something that happened to me in college. I was hanging out with some friends and a few people I had just met. One of the people I had just met started saying really homophobic stuff much like you describe. All my friends knew I was transgender and although I didn't discuss it a lot many knew I was lesbian. No one said anything and they looked anywhere but at me. I had to go to the bathroom to calm down. When I came back something snapped and I told this person *exactly* how wrong I thought they were, in detail. That was the first time I ever stood up to someone like that. I think that since then I have been a lot more open and willing to defend myself. It still hurts to think of my friends not saying anything though.
Honestly it's things like this that made me so sure I wanted to come out yesterday. It usually wasn't that ignorant but I hated the fact that these people were talking as if it wasn't affecting or hurting anyone. Having them learn that one of their friends is actually gay makes the issue seem closer and more real for them.
That is insanely weird and I feel really bad for you. I just went to a similar thing to this in Michigan and I had a totally different reaction. It dealt with political issues and we voted a 75/25 on gay marriage. It was very accepting and happy place. I feel really bad for you. Next time just idk don't go next time or avoid the topic.
I am sorry to hear that you were put into that situation, it is really sad to know that there is still so much stigma towards homosexuality these days, I think it is needed to be taught in schools these days that it is okay, but I don't think that is something that will happen for a very long time if ever sadly.
