I want to come out to my friend/s at some point but not sure when the best time to do this is, if they're/he's not accepting I don't want it to ruin my self esteem/grades but I don't want to leave it too late and never say.
I do it during year 11, wich is the second last year in Germany. I´m so lucky that all of my friends were fine with it. But let me give you an advice, come out, when you think it is the right time. There is no such thing as the ultimate point, it depens on you and your friends
Some people come out at the age of 13 and some when they are 40-50s. Every come out story is unique and has its own terms. I would suggest you to come out when you think is the right time. I am 29 and just started to come out last year because I was living in a very homophobic environment and it used be much harder in the past. Younger generations are lucky. I wish I could come out when I was 15-16 (when I discovered my sexuality) and I could have boyfriends when I was a teenager.
I didn't come out at school, but I didn't really accept I was gay until my last two or three years of it - so I didn't get much of a chance. Personally, if you want to come out at school, I'd save it to year 12 (this is when you start college or sixth form in the UK) or 11 at the earliest. I don't expect I'd have any issues with it during those years, but I earlier I figure there may well have been.
If he is a true friend to you, he would still accept you as you are. I believe any time is appropriate to come out but you must be sure of yourself and be wary of the possible consequences followed by coming out; either rejection or acceptance. I think your friend might still be your friend but if not, you don't deserve a friend like him. All the best!
First off welcome to EC and second , I think you should come out when you are ready to like some others have said already there is no set time it has to been when you are comfortable and ready ! As far as your friend you have a 50/50 chance he will accept it ,If for somereason he dont give him some time and maybe he will come around good luck and I wish you the best . Remember we are here if you need to talk
I'd personally say in college/sixth form, as people are generally more mature and there is less bullying as well as less cliques. Its the individual choice though, of course.
Only you can know when is the right time to come out. I'd suggest gradually creeping out the closet sooner rather than later, but if that just seems impossible right now, then do it at college. From my personal experience, I moved from my school (250 people per year) to a sixth from which had over 1250 per year. It was like a mini-university and the atmosphere was completely different. It helped me build my self confidence a lot - there were semi-openly gay people around and the teachers would casually talk about sexuality in a way that the school teachers never would. I was more deeply in the closet than you are at your age - and kinda told myself I wouldn't do anything about the *gay thing* until uni. I could have come out at college though, in hindsight.
i have done it very recently in 9th grade witch is year 10 i think but i did it in my freshman year because i want to make friends who know i am and it wont be a shock and i may not lose friends later in life but do it whenever you feel comfortable
Welcome to EC. I, too, came out at 14 - but privately, and my friend did support me, so I was not outed. Fortunately, my family took it sort of well. Not as badly as others have it. I personally think you should come out on the last year of your school. In the US, I'd recommend the last year (senior, 12th grade) of high school, because you're going to be graduating anyway, and it's unlikely you'll go to the same university as your classmates, unless you are going locally. Good luck.
I think the best time will be 2nd year six form ---------- Post added 27th Jan 2015 at 10:47 PM ---------- *collage
Hmm...Junior year (year 11) was actually the hardest year for me, in every way possible. I'm still not out, but this is my perspective, coming from a school with 9th through 12th grade (years 9-12) students in it: Year 9 (freshman year)-quite possibly the best year to come out. You'll know who's your friend, and people who don't accept you for you will tell you, and you can go through the rest of high school out of the closet. Year 10 (sophomore year)-Again, a very good year to come out. Now you know who's who, and have a few more friends who can support you. Conversely, you have a few more friends who can turn on you when you come out. Year 11 (Junior year)-I wouldn't recommend it. Everybody's prepping for standardized tests, and trying to make good grades, and getting ready for college, that a scapegoat is very nice to have (i.e. the person coming out). Year 12 (senior year)- Again, not recommended. You've spent four years pretending you're just like everybody else, then BAM! you come out. Not exactly good for friendships. If you really have to come out before the end of senior year, then do it at the end of senior year, so if you get dropped like a hot potato, at least you only have a short amount of time before you leave for college/university.