So...National Coming Out Day is this Saturday (the 11th). I think I'm ready to come out to my family (parents, brother, sister) but I just don't know how to have the conversation so I put it off. I never have the words. I get emotional and start shaking and crying and then cant get the words out. I mean I'm terrified, don't get me wrong. My dad is not lgbt supportive at all and my brother and sister are huge x factors, I am genuinely clueless on where they stand on the issue. They are both older and don't live near me and I don't talk to them much. I think my mom will be okay. Actually I kind of expect her to say something like "It's about time!" I have the world's most amazing mom. But of course, you never really know. Anyway, little ramble there, sorry....Coming Out Day is Saturday and I'm making a trip home this weekend so I'm thinking of just kind of dropping it in my parents lap at the breakfast table. In my mind it'll go something like this... Me: You know today is a holiday? Mom: Oh yeah, what holiday is it. Me: It's National Coming Out Day and there's only one way to celebrate. Mom, Dad, I'm gay. What do you all think. Is that too unfair? Thoughts? Comments?
I'd like to think something like this would make me come out but I doubt it... I don't really have the motivation, desire or just cause to yet. It would be good to hear how many decide to though. I think your way, RainbowSocks, is as good as any if it's the way you want to go about it. Some prefer to be direct & to the point, where others will write letters for example.
Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your dad- mine is quite similar in that respect. I would start slow, break the news to your mother first and see how she takes it. Know what you'll say if she accepts you or doesn't accept you at first. *hug* best wishes, coming out day isn't dreadfully soon, don't freak out!
Rainbow socks I honestly believe that the best way is by letter. You can think about what you are writing and ensure that you say everything that you need to. It also enables your parents/brother/sister to read it and take in the details without them saying something that they might later regret. So it's fairer on both sides in my opinion. You can still do it on NCO day! Mention that in the letter as well. You can write the letter beforehand with time to review it, and then do the deed at the weekend.
I think the problem is, is that I don't WANT to say anything else. I don't want to give a whole speech or explanation or whatever you want to call it. Any other time, I feel the need to do the speech because coming out isn't something that just fits into a conversation. It's the whole speech that I'm trying to avoid. I'm using the holiday as my conversation starter. This is something I want to say. To their face. If you knew my dad, you'd get it. I need to show him that I have the courage to say the words "I'm gay" to his face. Not in a letter. I mean what else is there to say really? I guess that's kind of what I'm asking. Is skipping the whole rest of the speech unfair to them?
You can use whatever motivation you want to get the conversation going. You can use NCOD, or you can use anything else that comes up. You can be chatting with them, and then say "I sometimes wonder the best way to start dating. I don't have any idea where to find a good woman." Lex
Only you can know the best way to come out and only you know your family. If you think that just saying it is the best way, then go with your feelings. I came out by just saying it when I was 20. That was in 1985. There was little help then and certainly no internet! Best wishes and let us know how you get on!!
Omg..I think I might want to come out as bigendered that day..and I did recently write a letter for my parents.
Rainbowsocks I totally feel what you post. I too am apprehensive as I work construction in a area that is intolerant. So. The 11th I have decided to post on my online accounts that I am gay, have excellent friends and am totally comfortable with it. I am a people person/social butterfly . the ones that accept it are worthy to keep close. The others? It is up to them. I know one thing. My dear friends will rejoice when I playfully declare this 11th,that yes,I am gay and love it!
i wanted to come out to my son on saturday but it aint gonna happen since the divorce is taking so long. now i wait and hope i dont bust keeping this secret. i dont want to put him in tough spot with his mother as she is nuts and will make things harder in the divorce and custody. but to anyone coming out this weekend(&&&)
Thanks everyone. I saw a post awhile back by someone that said something like "I know it's going to happen soon but I don't know when, but I know I'm ready." I'm paraphrasing, but that's how I feel. I'm not overly freaked out right now, despite the fact that I have no idea how they'll take it, but we'll see how much courage I have Saturday morning! Person57 and Dancer85, good luck, lets do this! I thought about posting online, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet :-/ Maybe next year!
Sorry I ignored you in my post. To answer you, in my opinion, this is a good idea. Make sure you feel completely ready before you come out. Good luck!! You can do it
