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What Are Your Regrets in Life?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kaiser, Oct 5, 2014.

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  1. RandomTrall

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    Replying to this thread.



    Oh Noooooo!
     
    #21 RandomTrall, Oct 6, 2014
  2. Mickz

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    Eating that last cookie... :lol:
     
    #22 Mickz, Oct 6, 2014
  3. Rainbows~Exist

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    I think my biggest regret so far must be becoming the "quiet one" in secondary school. If I was just myself from start to finish I'd be able to look back at my school life and smile at all the happy memories I created. I hate being the quiet one. I left it so long that if I decided to be myself suddenly one day everybody would think I was being fake and putting it on :/
     
    #23 Rainbows~Exist, Oct 6, 2014
  4. Radioactive Bi

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    I don't waste time on regrets. I just make my decisions and move forward.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
    #24 Radioactive Bi, Oct 6, 2014
  5. RedFireFly

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    I regret a little bit that I didn't kiss the guy I love when his face were a few centimeters away from mine.... (He was asleep though)
     
    #25 RedFireFly, Oct 6, 2014
  6. Kaylen

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    I think regretting something that I did would mean that I regret who I became as a result of it.
    I would not change anything that I have done. Although, at times, I do wish I had saved more money, and that is a regret.
     
    #26 Kaylen, Oct 6, 2014
  7. One Man Army

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    Same here, but I have no idea HOW TO BE LOUD without being annoying. Some people can do it, though.
     
    #27 One Man Army, Oct 6, 2014
  8. TigerInATophat

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    A lot of situations in the past were either out of my control anyway or I did the best I could, or it served as a learning experience in the long run and thus I wouldn't change it. But I do regret some things.
    I regret not chasing up a potential publishing oppourtunity when I was 13, even if I was too busy with school work and other stuff at the time it would have been interesting to see how that played out.
    I wish I had seen one of my cats before she died as she was living with a friend of mine some distance away at the time and had been ill around Christmas but seemed to bounce back, I contemplated going to see her but with it being that time of year I delayed and she then took a sudden downturn in January and passed away. She was one of my childhood pets and the one I had the strongest bond with.
    I could say that I regret giving certain people second chances even though I already knew they were unlikely to change, but doing so allowed me to reaffirm that as a certainty if nothing else.
     
    #28 TigerInATophat, Oct 6, 2014
  9. PatrickUK

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    I wish I could say.. Je ne regrette rien :slight_smile:
     
    #29 PatrickUK, Oct 7, 2014
  10. Quem

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    I regret coming out at this age, my parents are supportive, I wish I had told them before! Or at least told them I didn't feel like others.

    I also regret not joining this forum earlier. You all have really helped me, you are amazing, I wish I had been a member for more years.

    I agree, plus I also wish I could sing it like she does. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #30 Quem, Oct 7, 2014
  11. kageshiro

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    life is my regret
     
    #31 kageshiro, Oct 7, 2014
  12. Beware Of You

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    Not coming out sooner if I am honest.
     
    #32 Beware Of You, Oct 7, 2014
  13. tulipinacup

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    A lot of things. I can write about how I should have volunteered or participated at a social gathering, I should have been more active physically or should have strive harder in order to gain Academic awards or just become more social in general but really the biggest ones are when people get involved, that's where it hurts the most. It's pretty interesting how one situation can change/influence the other and that's where the should haves/could haves comes in and it's easy to say that you try to move on and learn from it but I think the most important is that you acknowledge that regret.
     
    #33 tulipinacup, Oct 7, 2014
  14. black-cat

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    I don't have many regrets, I learn to deal with, accept and deal with my fuck ups!

    BUT- I do wish I had said a more.....meaningful goodbye to my Grandmother, the night before she died. A "ta-ra, see you tomorrow!" doesn't really cover my feelings towards the lady that raised me.

    ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 11:59 AM ----------
    *hugs*
     
    #34 black-cat, Oct 7, 2014
  15. Kaiser

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    [​IMG]​




    While I have learned to deal with most, in my life, there is always a few lingering thoughts inside of my head...

    A lot of what-if's.
    A lot of could-be's.
    A lot of would-be's.
    A lot of should-be's.

    Regrets, at their core, I suppose...




    My biggest regret in life, when I really think about it, was just not being a 'better' person in my younger years. This only wound up alienating me from the bulk of people, and placed tremendous strain on the few solid relationships I had, growing up. Obviously, not being 'better' in my younger years, includes all the direct or indirect hardships I placed upon others, be it manipulation or flat out bullying, and the contribution it may have had, on another, in any harmful or negative way.

    But that is too encompassing, it doesn't really ring with sentiment, does it? Well, not enough of it, I'd say.




    There is a young man, who we shall call B, that I met in the last half of 3rd grade. He wound up becoming quite popular in the 4th grade, but in the 3rd grade, he was new and too shy to make an impact. He wound up being assigned to my table, so, I got to know him a little bit. He tolerated me, and for a few reasons, I sort of tolerated him too.

    When he got himself a girlfriend (or as close as to one, as one can have, in the 4th grade), I felt a little sting of jealousy. I won't go into details, but I orchestrated their break up, just because I didn't like somebody else, taking away my lackey (I didn't call people that, back then, but that is what they essential were, to me). This was the first time I learned, I could actually move and control people -- by using things they liked, to pull and push them, in whatever direction/decision I needed them to.

    Other than it being obviously wrong, on my part, there is another reason I regret it. That young lady, that B was interested in, wound up becoming quite popular in her own right, during middle school. B, though, never really recovered. He wound up staying fairly average, and a lot of that, had to do with the leash I kept him on. I moved back to Kentucky around the time of late 6th grade, and he stayed behind in Tennessee.

    About six years ago, B and I had contact, and I learned a few things about him. He is doing better; and I did apologize, for the little games I played back then. B took it well, but he and I agreed, we had just drifted too far apart in our lives, and decided to remain casual associates. We talk, maybe, once every other year, if even that.




    I regret never really getting to know my maternal grandfather, before he was stricken with Alzheimer's, blissfully suffered, and passed away. I was always distant and indifferent to him, and the few times we did talk, they were enjoyable, they just didn't amount to much -- on my end, at least. However, looking back, there were tidbits of wisdom, he told me, that I am now just beginning to realize as true. According to other members of my family, my grandfather was a workaholic, and he wanted the best for his family. He was the nucleus of the immediate family, so him losing his mind -- as well his professional business -- crippled the family. Badly. His death united the family, stronger than anything else, but it also severed the family, worse than anything else. Without his financial and generous help, the immediate family has learned, they have seen better days.

    My grandmother once told me, my grandfather really did want to get to know me. I was the most difficult and most interesting, she said he said, of the grandchildren. My grandfather confided to her, that he believed I was the most clever of the grandchildren. I believe this, because, during one of my one on one conversations with my grandfather, he said something similar. But that came with a "You're not going to like where this story is going..." lecture; but, I liked that. He broke things down in a sensible, easy, and realistic manner.

    My grandfather was a very practical, fun, and driven man. I never acknowledged that back then, and while I did get something from his time with me, it has always been a regret of mine, that it may not have been ALL I could have obtained.




    I regret sabotaging a Straight-A student's academic record. At the time, I didn't care, but looking back, it was a very petty thing to do. Basically, after having had a rough morning at school, I decided to begin hitting this classmate, who we will call J. Since the school had a 'zero tolerance policy'*, they had no choice but to suspend J as well, despite him doing absolutely nothing to defend himself. J's suspension resulted in, not only hurting his grade point average, but his perfect attendance record. On top of that, it would be on his academic record, that he was involved in physical violence.

    *This is one reason, I have issue with Zero Tolerance policies. You have assholes, like how I used to be, exploiting such things, to lash out at others.




    I regret not doing more, to discourage or dismiss teasing or harassment, growing up. I would either spectate, contribute directly or indirectly, with or later on, or just not care whatsoever. I was clever enough, strong enough, and known enough, to have stepped in and done more, to make the days and social lives of others, a little bit easier. This is one reason why, even those who do associate with me, have a hesitant time totally being cool with me. They respect and appreciate me, they do, but they don't want to go through all of that again. Obviously, the annoyance factor, is a significant reason as to why I have regrets towards this.




    The only person, I have ever really considered to care about me, we shall call L. She and I crossed paths in middle school, where she was an 8th grader, and I a 6th grader. L was the brother of B, the fellow I mentioned much earlier in this post, so that made it interesting. L was very pretty - she was a special case, because I had to force myself to feel disdain for her. Everybody else, it only took a little bit, if anything, to muster up a dislike or hatred for. But her, man, she made it difficult...

    Her eyes, her voice, her bad ass mannerisms. L had a punk rock/Gothic hybrid-type of fashion, which worked really well for her. When I would go to B's house, she was usually there, and we'd all interact. Over a period of time, I was beginning to get to know L, very well. In fact, she and I would kick it at school, sometimes. She used to tell me, to cut out the bullying, and I'd listen to her -- sort of.

    I remember wanting to ask her to a school dance. Somebody wound up beating me to it, and my dumb ass, decided to challenge the guy to a fight. Well... I won the fight, but I lost my date, because I was expelled from that school, and had to move back to Kentucky. I lost contact with L, and it wasn't until about five years ago, that I received any kind of closure.

    To paraphrase her and I's conversation, it pretty much boiled to this:

    "You were very funny, smart, and strong. You could have done something with your life, then, but you didn't. I tried to wake you up, you refused to wake up, and after you did what you did, I realized, you weren't worth the favor anymore."

    She forgave me, and we're casual associates (even less than B and I), but the damage is done. I really dropped the ball on that one!




    Those should suffice, for now.
     
    #35 Kaiser, Oct 9, 2014
  16. OGS

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    I wish I would have come out earlier--I waited until after college. I actually really bitterly regretted this for quite some time, but finally came to terms with why I made the decisions I made and I have forgiven myself, but still I wish it would have gone differently.

    Oh, and I wish I had taken better care of my teeth when I was younger...
     
    #36 OGS, Oct 9, 2014
  17. littlemonster11

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    One of my biggest regrets is giving up on a best friendship when I was about 16/17 with N.

    I've never had a connection with any other friend at the time. She was cool with my weirdness, as she was weird herself, in the best way of course. We hit it off instantly, and I've never felt more accepted by anyone in terms of friendships. Yeah, we had our fair share of ugly arguments, but what relationship doesn't have disagreements?

    Anyway, I started having doubts about our friendship for a reason I'm embarrassed to say. What made me give up on our friendship completely was because of one incident, where I needed advice because of relationship problems with my boyfriend at the time. She told me she couldn't talk because she was with her boyfriend at the time. Yeah, I had a right to be a little mad (because I wouldn't do that, especially to her), but it was very stupid on my part to end what we had because of something as petty as that.

    Don't get me wrong, I love my now-best-friend, J, to pieces, but I wish I still had N in my life too. She is married now and is always moving to a new location because her husband is in the military, so I don't have the luxury of hanging out with her whenever I want to anymore.

    N and I are on good terms now. We both apologized and it's all water under the bridge. I got to see her again for the first time in about 5 years about 6 months ago. I had lunch with her and met her husband and it was nice. It was just like old times.

    I still remember a pain in my chest after we parted ways. I damn near cried, to be honest. Seeing her again was bittersweet. It reminded me of how much of an idiot I was for practically throwing away something (or in this case, someone) special.
     
    #37 littlemonster11, Oct 9, 2014
  18. Sorceress of Az

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    Not coming to terms with my orientation and gender sooner than I did.
    Not coming out yet.
    Not being able to be independent.(Need better job)
    I will turn 27 this year, I have no significant other, no one I know whom I could ask out or attempt a romamce with.
    Never having experienced sex with a woman.(I have with a man.)
    Not having fully over come my social anxiety yet.
    Not being able to open up emotionally or let people in
    Not talking more often, I just don't have much to talk about or say, but I am so quite.

    Not doing any about my depression except tell friends and post on here.

    Not being able to save money.



    Also I tell people that they would not give me Fin Aid this semester for college but I am lying,
    I did not apply because I am depressed and last time it affected my grades,
    but the college is where I try to break out of being introverted and make new friends, I feel I should've gone.

    I don't want to be alone, sure I have family and friends but I want to be in a relationship.
     
    #38 Sorceress of Az, Oct 9, 2014
  19. Gen

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    Not pressuring my mother to allow me to progress at my own pace academically. It is times such as this when I am staying up all night writing essays that I think about how much time was wasted in grade school when I was encouraged to test out for years. Where I could be in my life right now? I suppose that is not such much a personal regret as I didn't have much say in it.

    I would say that I regret allowing myself to fall for a pair of brown eyes that eventually turned from mine to another and drug me through the gutter in the process; but I wouldn't have learned from that experience as I did. I am actually extremely thankful. Not to mention, he was a wonderful person when he was younger, but heaven knows I can do better than the person he grew into.

    Lastly, this one isn't actually a regret at all, but if I were given a second chance at something in my past than I would opt to be a very "expressive" homosexual in high school. As I said before, I was never actually in the closet. Many people assumed that I at least wasn't completely straight, but nearly no one asked. I chose to allow it to remain a mystery and rumors to spread unanswered. While I am happy that I did because of the hilarious memories that I gained as a result, I would love to see the flip side. Back then my vulgar humor and sexual innuendos were always taken with a bit of confusion because few knew when I was being serious and when I was not. I would love to know how they would have reacted to the same comments knowing my sexuality without a doubt. Think of all of the people I could have messed with. :badgrin:

    Of course the last one isn't ethical people, but dammit it sounds like a wonderful way to pass the time!
     
    #39 Gen, Oct 9, 2014
  20. LostLion

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    - Being a massive homophobe in middle school, especially since I wasn't like that way to start off middle school.
    - Opposing Gay rights until my freshman year of college, I really should've started supporting it earlier on.
    - Repressing myself for so many years, sexually, and now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. I still repress my feelings now, but I'm definitely on the road to recovery. But that road might take 4-5 years.
    - Taking life for granted, which I still do sadly.
    - Not smiling in more pictures before this year
    - Still being a virgin.
    - Not sticking to my weight loss program
    - Being so secretive about my private life.
    - I regret being a massive drunk my first two years of college.
    - However, my biggest regret is one I still struggle immensely with: I struggle with asking people for help. I help other people all the time and yell at others for not asking for help and then I don't follow my own advice.
     
    #40 LostLion, Oct 10, 2014
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