1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Told someone I was gay! First time ever!!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by clovis, Sep 24, 2014.

  1. clovis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2014
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ontario Canada
    Well I met with my lesbian friend today... to talk about my situation... and to do this I had to come out to her! I knew that she would be understanding as she went through the same situation with her now ex husband over 10 years ago.

    That was probably the hardest thing I have ever done! but it felt good in a weird sort of way.

    First, to hear those words come out of my mouth! it took me what seemed like forever to finally say it... but I did! I said 'I think I am.... no I know am... long long long pause... gay! WOW! I thought I would feel more relief... but I do feel better not being the only one who knows! I guess that's a relief... but now I have to continue on my journey of telling my wife...

    My friend suggests writing a letter... then either reading it to her, or letting her read it... and go from there... that way I can say everything i need to, and not forget parts... because of nerves...

    This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life!
     
  2. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey clovis,

    Great feeling huh? :slight_smile:

    I wish you the best of luck and good courage for the challenge ahead! The more you come out, the easier it gets, and the better you feel. This is not an absolute guarantee, of course, but it happens much more often than not: it does get better!
     
  3. Feijoa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2013
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MENA region.
    That's wonderful - I'm really happy your meeting with your friend went well :slight_smile:
     
  4. FancyGummy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    357
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    MA, UNITED STATES, FURTHER DETAILS UNKNOWN
    :eusa_clap:eusa_danc(!):eusa_clap
     
  5. doinitagain

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    214
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Surrey, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Fantastic, well done!! Have a banana! (!)
     
  6. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Out Standing feeling isn't it? Well done and good luck with the wife.
     
  7. Richie.

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    546
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham UK
    Amazing progress! Writing your thoughts down and reading them out or sending them is very therapeutic.
     
  8. clovis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2014
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ontario Canada
    Thanks for all your words of encouragement.
     
  9. Kaylen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2014
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Wonderland
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Very wonderful job! The first step is always the hardest, and you've pushed past that. You're amazing and you should be proud of yourself!
     
  10. MapleCross

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2013
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    London UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I am not so certain that this is the hardest, telling your wife is going to be harder. I think however you were given good advice when your friend told you to write a letter. You can take your time doing this and think long and hard about what you actually want to say to her.
    Congratulations however on taking the first big BIG step of coming out to yourself and telling someone else. Well done you will find a new freedom in yourself because of that.
     
  11. lb41974

    lb41974 Guest

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    739
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Clovis that is great you have started your journey of coming out ! I am also starting my journy I have told 3 people so far we thats not true 3 here where I live and everybody here on EC knows now!! lol I wish you all the best of luck and please keep going and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just want to talk I would be honered to be that peroson ! so have a great day and take care
     
  12. Sanna

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2014
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Got any asexual friends? We are generally pretty darn accepting (90% of asexuals support gay marriage) of people coming out as gay, queer, lesbian, etc. so if you need more practice or whatever maybe you could come out to them first.
     
  13. quietman702

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2011
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    WV, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    YAYYYYY! I'm proud of you as you are brave and courageous! I really like the letter idea, not only will you give it to her but when you have it for those times of self doubt that may come.

    Congratulations!.
     
  14. YaraNunchuck

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2013
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So fantastic! :slight_smile:

    How did she react, by the way? Was she surprised? I'm always fascinate by encounters like this (both my and others' experiences) where you come out to a person who themselves has been out a few years already. How do the dynamics of the relationship alter etc.... I also find the feeling of solidarity when coming out to an LGBT person to be interesting.
     
  15. wontwalkblindly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2014
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jupiter
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Awesome! Happy for you. You can change your "out status" now too :slight_smile:
     
  16. Polka Dots

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2014
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Congratulations on taking that monumental step! I know what you mean about getting those words out of your own mouth; while not in-person, I recently came out to a few friends via email and it took me a whole day to push that "send" button.