Told straight friend I am in love with him

What you wrote is what you should put in the letter. Sans more "love".

I've been in a similar situation. Although I never confessed my attraction. I eventually left that job and never talked to the guy again. It's been hard, but after several months I stopped thinking about him constantly. I have been able to mostly get over him by not being around him. This might have to be the route you'll take.

 

In your place, I would not bring it up again. What you need to do now:

Stop thinking about him. Find someone else to pursue. That will take him off your mind. As others said, there's a lot of fish in the sea. I know for a mind so engulfed in love this is hard to do, but trust me, you need to do this.

He has clearly stated that he is not interested, and has shown that he is not entirely comfortable with you being in love with him - don't keep pulling the string. He's a great person for still being your friend after all of this - don't waste sucha friendship. Once you find someone else, and act completely normal around him again, the dust will settle down and he will feel completely comfortable around you again, I think

 

I can definitely sympathize with you; it hurts so much to like someone so much and get nothing in return. I admire your courage for telling him how you felt though and I think in the long-run you'll look back on that as a positive decision because at least now you won't have to wonder what might have happened.

With that said, I think you need to abandon this pursuit and set aside your need to tell him your feelings. From what you've described, it seems like you've made it quite clear to this guy how you feel and hes been extremely honest and accepting of you. It sounds like you're playing with fire though and if you keep badgering him with this you're probably going to throw away any chance of maintaining any type of relationship with him. There's no ambiguity about how you feel, so in my mind your options are either to completely distance yourself if it's too painful to be around him or accept that he's never going to want the same thing that you want and instead just try to be the best friend to him that you can be. A good friend can be extremely valuable so I advise you to try that, but I understand if it's too difficult.

I'm grateful that this doesn't happen very often, but I seem to fall for guys who could never feel the same way about me, either because they're straight, too young, live too far away, or whatever. At some point I'll try to explain my feelings just to make absolutely sure there's no mutual interest, but after that there's really not much you can do. Just as you can't control who you like, neither can anybody else -- knowing that you like somebody isn't enough for that to be reciprocated. After that, I'll just try to show that person the best in myself and hope that he'll see enough to want to be my friend. Failing that, you either have to accept that it's just not going to happen or sever all ties. I know it doesn't seem like it, but after enough time you will move on and be open to meeting someone else.

So yeah, I wish you the best, but I strongly advise you to stop telling this guy that you love him and just try to be his friend. At this point I don't think talking through it is going to help you much.

 

I definitely think it is a good idea to let him now that you appreciate how he is still your friend - but tell him that later, when you REALLY ARE OVER HIM. Right now you clearly still are not, and chances are you would break down while telling him again, and start talking about things he does not want to hear.

You have definitely done the right thing when you have told him, but don't try and explain your feelings to him anymore - he obviously isn't very comfortable with that.

As I said - you need to move on. The easiest way to do that would be to concentrate on someone else - try and meet a gay guy who is interested in you. It certainly helped me a lot

 

What you wrote above is perfect, and yes, you can politely ask that he keep what happened between yourselves. Give him reassurance also that you won't talk about it any further. But make sure this is it, also, give yourself some time away from him, your emotions are probably quite raw and you need to heal a bit.

 

Sorry I was in a hurry when I wrote my above post. I was referring to this quote: "I appreciate so much that he is STILL my friend after knowing what he does and that the fact he has been so great about things will always mean the world to me." If you drop the question mark it becomes what you can say!

Also, by "sans love" I mean without all of the "I love you"s ... he's already heard that plenty of times from you and it isn't making him any gayer. Let's not beat a dead horse. Let's move forward by putting this relationship into the friendship category.

Btw, kudos to you for telling him your feelings! :icon_bigg ... I think that would have given me a heart attack if I told the guy I had liked lol. It may not get better tomorrow, but it will get better sooner than you think.

 

Hey terrified,

I know this post is really old there's probably a good chance you don't use this site anymore... but I'm going through something incredibly similar to what you explained I'm guess I'm just curious how it all turned out. I told my best friend I loved him in September same thing he said he didn't feel the same way but he wants to stay friends. We've seen each other probably 30 times since and haven't spoken about it once... it's definitely not the same though I feel like I'm slowly losing him. A lot of the things you said are what's happening.. he doesn't initiate conversation as much, seems like he'd rather talk to other people, shows other people shit on his phone.... it just kinda sucks I don't know. I was wondering what the situation with you and your friend is now... if he even still is your friend. I hope your doing better I know how much this shit can destroy you.

 

In order to let go of this and to restore your friendship you need to be chill. Fake it till you make it.

I've been in a similar situation. This girl made me so sad I did some crazy things. I'm never gonna explain that to her though, because imagine how guilty she would feel for something that was out of her control? Literally all of that was my own self-centered thinking - she did nothing to me and she doesn't deserve to be worried about it even though sometimes I really want to blurt something out, it would be quite counter productive.

Unless you act like you are friends as always, how is he supposed to act that way? I also think your delivery in telling him I love you was a bit too insistent and intense - I'm sure he meant it that he was fine about it but the amount of times he had to repeat that probably made him irritated and uncomfortable.

Best course of action is just casually be like, thanks for still being my friend, thats all I need from you, don't worry about me holding into this - I was still feeling a bit upset back when I told you and i probably made things weird but I've accepted it properly now, so can we just be cool? And then stop talking about it and actually be cool. Or you'll never get over it.

 

I have the same issue. Literally I think about my straight cis friend. he has stayed at mine and all i could think about was him climbing into my bed or even just a hug. im not obsesses but do think about him alot. am i weird?! :bang::icon_redf:help: