What are you thinking?

I spent just about my entire weekend on this website. Oops.

 

I'm honestly sick and tired of feeling this way. I'm sick of depending on this thread to help me cope - and I'm sick of depending on my friends as well.

Why can't I just snap out of it, for once? Why can't I move? To work? Why can't I just feel happy? There's just no goddamn reason.

I feel so disappointed. And afraid. Afraid to fail - myself, my parents, my friends. To fail school, to fail life.

What can I do? There's just... nothing, I can do. I'm just so weak, so cowardly, so fucking lazy, all I can do is sit here and wish that I can do better, when I'm doing nothing about it.

I hate that. But I can't change it...

okay, enough, that's totally enough; I really need to start limiting what I say on these threads

Good day/night, EC.

 

Blah, reading and internet has made me not do some of the things I set out to do today. I should probably get on that.

It went from taking forever to go between hours to, suddenly, being 7 PM. I think the fact it's getting darker earlier isn't helping either.

Also, possibly finding a word that explains my inability to put feelings into words has simultaneously been a good and bad thing. Like it makes SENSE, but I dunno if it's exactly what's going on either.

 

Now I've gone and fucking done it.
I'll return in a few days, give the angry feminists my apologies.

I'm going to go and make that less aggressive.

 

I've been obsessed with word roots since around your age. I think about word roots all the time. I can't use words without thinking about where they come from. It amazes me that so many people couldn't care less

 

I swear too much.

I really hope swearing doesn't offend people. I use swears rather liberally as I see no purpose in making them taboo. (I'll explain why if asked)

---------- Post added 3rd Nov 2014 at 01:10 AM ----------

I was attempting to do my art homework earlier and I wanted to link it to linguistics cause I love linguistics and I decided I'd make a tree out of words, with the pie at the bottom and the modern languages at the top. I decided to use the word 'tree' and assumed that the English word would be similar to the other western Germanic ones, but when looking at a swadesh list for Germanic languages, the English one is more alike the North Germanic words than the West Germanic words, which essentially tells me it's one of the many things that was influenced by old Norse after the viking invasions of the ninth century and a quick check of Wikipedia confirmed this. I was a little too pleased about it, I would say

 

I wish a mug of hot tea or cider would magically appear in my hand. Getting up and making one would require me to stop lying on my couch under a warm blanket, and I really don't want to do that.

 

I can't concentrate on anything and I wanna cry:tears:

 

i lied about the good night

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

I do NOT want to go to work tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

let's both play hooky and run off to frolic n shit

 

I'll be waiting out front..........what time you gonna pick me up??????

 

i dunno, whenever i wake up, like around 2 or 3 pm or so

maybe 4 i dunno

like 6pm

 

I'm happy to know that my Italian is really improving ^_^

 

time for bed. night folks

 

Sorry to mention one, but as someone who was in an internet/ldr Set The Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol was my ex and my's song we were listening to when we first said we loved each other. I'll stop now.


Speaking of music, Mumford & Sons is becoming my guilty pleasure. :icon_redf

 

Christmas is near and it's a depressing reminder that I don't have anyone to share it with.

 

I feel empty without my calculator :/

 

Is he getting tired of me? I don't want this to end