Hi guys/gals, Here for a late night vent session since things have been not great for me today. My relationship of 1.5 years has been awesome with no problems. My partner is pretty jealous of everything we as far as I know we have both always been faithful. Yesterday he was drinking (we both were but not alot) and he was being dramatic because I didnt want any relations for the night. Not a big deal, we don't fight he was just being dramatic. Anyway, we live in a gated community (not in the US) and at around 12.30AM I noticed he came into the room a few times, kinda looked around, made sure I was asleep and quietly walked out (I was not asleep obviously). He was in undershorts and left his phone, wallet and keys in the room. He didn't reappear so after 3 hours around 3AM I found him outside talking to the security guard over by the security room. They were alone, nice looking security guard. I asked WTF and his explanation was simply, "We were talking about some houses for rent in the community". So logically, I am pretty suspicious since, who the hell does that? There are very few reasons I can think of for being outside without my phone and keys at 12-3AM and all of them involve sex. Of course, it's possible he was not doing anything but... since there is no proof either way it hangs on perception. I told him we need space and we are not living together for the moment in light of this. What do you all think? Talking about a house for rent sound reasonable or?
It's really hard to say- realistically, if you two have been faithful for 1.5 years and things have been going well, then there would really be no reason as to why he would cheat on you. Also, as dubious as it sounds, where would they possibly be having sex? Outside? In some where public? It's hard to say- they really could have just been chilling/talking. Is the security guard gay?
Lots of people cheat for lots of reasons, even when things are going well, even if it's not something they have done before. Sex I would be doubtful but lots of possibilities for cheating, even if he simply went out with that intention independent of if he did it or not. The security guard station is where they were chatting, it's a small house like structure with two rooms and tinted windows which remains in total darkness. No idea if the security guard is gay, he does shoot us some glances every now and then. On a relevant note, my partner did mention he thought the security guard was hot a day or two before. I am doubtful they did have sex but lots of other things in between talking and sex. Normally I follow the innocent until proven guilty policy but in this situation I am pretty sure that does not apply. Given the hour - method of leaving , etc. I'd say the situacion in itself is pretty condemning. Realistically they could have been talking but who the freak chills with an unknown security guard, off the grid, at 3 AM?
Often, people are overprotective and jealous because they know THEY would cheat in your circumstance. I don't think you should necessarily assume anything, but it isn't that much of a stretch. I think you should confront him about it and see if he has any proof for his flimsy explanation.
Did. His explanation is, "No, I have no proof" and make no effort to present any because he put himself in a situation in which the only proof is what he says. Also I have never cheated in my life Dakeli27 but you are entirely correct in your analysis, the only explanation I can think of given those circumstances if I was in that situation would be sexual given the context.
Not quite what I was saying, what I meant was that overjealous people are actually more likely to cheat than most people, or rather, people more prone to cheating are more jealous, as they know that they would've cheated on you.
I would agree on this one too but yes, I find it questionable that your bf would talk to someone at a very late hour and the fact that you said that he was away for 3 hours seems pretty suspicious to me. It's still very hard to say though, any chance on talking to the security guard about the supposed rent talk that he and your bf discussed about?
@Both well either way he is insanely jealous all the time. As for suspicious, yeah, I'd say atleast it's suspicious. Pretty slim chance of talking to the security guard honestly. Talked to my now ex bf now who is now not living with me in light of said events. All he did was whine for 2 hours and beg me to believe him to forgive him (for something which didn't happen according to him?). Hard to say since nobody admits to what they have done. The likely outcome is that a perfectly good relationship will die as a result of this. Rather he did something he should not have or not, he created a situation at an unreasonable hour and circumstance which cannot be proved or disproved. Thus it will create a never ending distrust. In the end it is his irresponsible fault.
Wow, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say but I think it's best to end it before things get all heated up.
Turns out I was just overreacting. I managed to talk to the security, he admitted it was weird someone was chatting with him at that hour but they just chatted. But unfortunately, the subject brought up another issue which is much more severe which is confirmed and not suspicion. I will open a new thread since this one is littered with other info.
