Are you suppose to love your mother no matter what she does to you ?

All parents are accountable for their actions. This does not mean hate them, it does not mean disrespect them, it means they have to own what they've done, seek help if necessary and in general deal with their issues on their own (and NOT dump them on their kids).

Mothers have some kind of mythology around them (as opposed to fathers who take the brunt of the blame, some deserved, some not) that they could not possibly engage in all kinds of nasty behaviour toward their kids. Fact is, they have and they do; ranging from physical and sexual abuse, incest and even murder. And yet, because of this general attitude toward mothers, they can and do get away with it; even the victims cannot tolerate the reality of what some mothers can do and they will make excuses for them.

So to answer your question, love your mother, certainly, forgive even (because that is good for you, not her), but never forget...

 

"If you loved me you would not try to force me to love you with threats. God would not do that either." I'm so sorry. (*hug*)

 

A family friend told me this and i reflect on it all the time: You cannot choose your family, however you can choose your friends. Meaning that you can choose whether you want to be friends with your family or not.

 

That is total bs and totally manipulative of her. I'm sorry. Just ignore those hurtful remarks. Or do what we do in the south...or ok KY is borderline south but still. Don't let her know she upsets you, kill her with kindness. Smile and say well bless you; you know I really should pray more, especially for my loved ones; I think I'm just gonna pray for you. But seriously, I am sorry you are dealing with this and hope it gets better. But really don't let her get to you.

 

I have to say is do not respect your mother. A person that has treated you as maliciously as your mother has (for simply being who you are) deserves no modicum of respect. If she ever comes around, then she will deserve love and respect. Not before.

If I were you, I would leave and become independent as soon as you possibly can. The writing on the wall shows that staying in her presence can only have toxic consequences. Simply put: GET OUT OF THERE, STOCKING!

 

stockiiiiiing ):

You are not obligated to respect your parents because they "made" and raised you. Respect is earned.

 

No. there are certain lines that people can cross no matter how high they are in your world's hierarchy.

There are limits to everything. Just because she is your mother, doesn't give her an all excused pass to humiliate, insult, dominate, control, and manipulate your life. She needs to know that you are your own person, and it's not about her after the 13th or 14th or 15th year, it's about you; the child.

 

I'm sorry to say, you're mom is an idiot.. She's dependent on "God"

 

No, I don't think you should be obligated to love any family member. You can't choose them, and just because you're related doesn't mean they can't be bad people, so you shouldn't feel like you have to love her.

 

Sometimes your parents can be the worst people in your life, the ones who treat you terribly and make you hate yourself. You're never obligated to love anyone.

I believe in building your own family, finding friends and keeping them close to you.People say blood is thicker than water but coming from a family with a lot of step children in every direction I can tell you it's about who cares for you and loves you, not who created you.

 

simply No being a parent doesn't give you a free pass to do what ever you want, and always receive love in return.

 

I'm not usually one to resort to violence, but... your mother needs to be backhanded with some common sense.

Without your parents, yes, you wouldn't be here. But they didn't craft you, you're just who they got in the draw. Respect should be presented at all times, but it should also be taken away at all times, if the situation calls for it. Your mother would, if she met the Biblical Jesus, get clowned by him; I am sure. She tells you what to do, as it pertains to her, almost as if you are an extension of her life. While some parents have a hard time letting children go, your mother treats you less like a human being, and more like an extra set of arms and legs.

Often times people forget, you're supposed to lead by example, and not by what you say. Yes, words are important, but actions demonstrate if those words are genuine. Your mother's actions, while, in some bizarre way show a protective love, are so far beyond sensible.

You're a lesbian, right? I don't think this will be a problem, LOL.

Of course, if you go an alternative route, well, maybe. But even then, I doubt your kids will turn out any worse than others, unless you act like your mother. I have a feeling, if you treat your kids with love and sensible sternness, while they may have their rebellious stages, they'll turn out a lot more manageable, and appreciative.

 

No.

 

In a word, no.

My mom and I had a very toxic relationship, much like the one you were just describing. Although I still love her and wish her the best, but that doesn't mean that I need to be around her. The fact that she's your mother doesn't mean that you owe her anything for being a mother.

 

You know what? Blood is thicker than water... but that phrase doesn't mean what everyone thinks it does. It comes from an archaic phrase "The blood of battle is thicker than wombs waters" and it actually meant that your friends who you've been through all the tough times with will always be closer than people you have a mere biological relation to".

So no, you are not supposed to love your family no matter what, you either feel it or you don't. You don't just not feel that for no reason. We here are your friends and we're by your side.

 

No.

The " I gave birth to you, so you must love me and do what I want" doesnt fly in my books.

 

No, like almost every other person here is saying, respect is earned.
I'd like to know if she would still love her mom and respect her if she did all this crap to her, I bet the tables would turn then :dry: