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things my mom has told me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by purgatory, Aug 21, 2014.

  1. purgatory

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    DISCLAIMER: these are not my views at all, simply things my mother has actually said to me, and I share them not to get pity but to shed real light on some people's views and situations that puts others in. also, I never know what to say when she tells me things like this without making the situation worse. thoughts?

    told me that having attractions to guys (the same sex) is like:

    having cancer (that needs to be removed) "you wouldn't say to me 'mom, why won't you love me cancer, it's part of who I am!'"

    being addicted to drugs. and other gay people and popular culture are like the drug dealers feeding "harmful acceptance talk" to young people. also gay relationships are apparently addictive and something I should avoid so as not to become "hooked in a bad lifestyle"

    being disabled. "if you had were in an accident and learned you were now handicapped, would you not do what you could to regain a normal life?"

    having pedophilia. "if you were attracted to 6 year old girls and you really just wanted to find acceptance and knew a great group of other guys attracted to 6 year old girls, you think that's ok? no! you would get help and try to change it!"

    having zoophilia (wanting to commit bestiality). same as the pedophilia metaphor.
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    Thoughts?

    Awful.

    My mother occasionally drops the "I think there's something wrong with your mind," but it doesn't get that bad.

    I'm sorry she's spouting such bullshit at you.
     
  3. Kai LD

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    Your mother's horrifying bigotry and/or ignorance has been registered and noted. :eusa_doh::eusa_doh::eusa_doh::eusa_doh:
    I'm so sorry. (*hug*)
     
  4. Leonardo

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    All of her statements are false and homophobic, and you shouldn't put up with it. Explain why it's not like those situations, and firmly tell her that when she says that it is hurtful and rude. Ask her to stop.
     
  5. PurpleGrey

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    Ugh, folks can be so stupid and insensitive. My mom pulled the same shit about deaf people. She said it was like how supposedly, deaf people who are fine and dandy being deaf have their own community and culture and shit. But it's not like that. Being gay isn't a disability. It's like a...alter...net...ability...or something.
     
  6. Given To Fly

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    The way I look at it, being gay isn't a choice. Being stupid and/or ignorant is, however.
     
  7. Ada M7

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    Yeah, I don't see how people can live with people like that on friendly terms.
     
  8. Samantha2014

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    After reading this post and some of the others today I am beginning to wonder if there should be some sort of test for prospective parents that would prevent people that believe and spout this sort of rubbish from being in a position where they have influence over a vulnerable life.

    My parents are the same and there is no changing their views but I definitely did not enjoy the process of growing up and hearing it, and feeling their hatred towards others, and finding out that they were not the people I wanted to be like and they were wrong about so much stuff.
     
  9. bicomplicated

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    I am so sorry she says these things to you. She probably just loves you and wants the best for you. She probably doesn't understand or isn't educated about lgbt. Keep talking to her and expressing your positions on things and help educate her. Hopefully she will come around and stop saying hurtful things!
     
  10. Itisthefear

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    Unfortunately, many parents have no idea what Homosexual/Bisexual etc means....many of them think that it is something like a decease or others mix it with religion and make things way worse.....

    i think that if your mother could receive a different opinion from an "expert" she might make up her mind...How about trying to go to a psychologist with her and discuss how this affects your relationship..?
     
  11. Carlgustav

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    To Purgatory- I don't know how old you are, whether you are still living with your mother, are dependent on her support. If you are adult and independent of her, you should probably limit your contact. It is toxic to hear this kind of crap. If however, you are still dependent on her, be strong. Don't let the comments get you down. Find positive people to talk with. (This site is a very positive place.) Do you have other family? How are they compared to dear old mom? Does anyone else rebut her hateful comments? I feel so bad that you have this situation and I hope "IT GETS BETTER"!
     
  12. purgatory

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    Thanks so much for all the support and thoughts. I am 20 and still dependent on my parents who pay for my college education (2 more years!!!). It's hard because as much as the comments my mom (and my dad) make are hurtful and ignorant, I still love them and think deep down they're good people, just way too concerned, involved, and twisted in their views. Unfortunately my family (my parents and sister who yields to their opinions) is all anti-me pursuing a "gay lifestyle" (or even exploring) and pro-me working to "reclaim my heterosexuality". I wish I could find a way to get real experts to change their views, but they think that mainstream psychology has also been corrupted by "harmful gay acceptance talk" and they instead listen to what reparative therapists say (and have made me do that). I hope to maintain some sort of relationship with my parents after graduating but also know I need to do what's best for my sanity. Thanks all :slight_smile:
     
  13. Blossom85

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    I find it hard to understand why parents can't just accept their child for who they are.. It would be so hard to think you have disappointed your parents or family based on something you can't change.. I am so blessed that majority of my family are allies of the LGBT community and even have friends who are gay or lesbian as it will make it more comfortable for me when I do open up to them all eventually. You wanna being a child into this world, you need to be prepared for your child to be whomever they wanna be and be themselves and who they are comfortable being. Your parents are supposed to be your protectors, not the ones joining in on the hated and making you feel bullied or hated for being who you are.