I'm incredibly bad at talking about personal stuff. I can quite happily talk to randomers on the internet or people I meet and never see again, but in real life it's a very different story. I couldn't even be treated for my anxiety because I was unable to talk to the therapist. I couldn't even bring myself to write things down. I want to come out to my parents. I'm pretty positive that my dad would be fine, my mum less so, but not so much that it'd be dangerous for me to come out. That being said, I just don't see myself coming out them. Ever. Which is completely ridiculous, but I really can't see it. I'm 16 and everywhere I see stories of people coming out 15 or younger. The oldest I've seen is 23. I know it's stupid to look at what other people are doing, but I am starting to feel like time's ticking. I definitely feel ready to come out (it's scary in here!) but I just don't see it happening. I've written god knows how many coming out letters to my parents, but I just can't take the last step. Anybody have any advice? Anyone have a similar experience? What age did you finally come out?
People come out in all walks of life. I have even met some people that came out in their 70s. I was around 23 or so when I started facing myself, although I knew since my teens that something was up. It's a personal journey.
I completely understand. I am awful at talking about anything personal, especially with family members. I can't talk to people very well. I immediately feel the need to downplay anything that happens to me (I couldn't even talk to my therapist - I used to try and turn the conversation around on him 'Oh my day was fine, just a panic attack so how was YOUR day, Matt?') I literally couldn't plan to do it. I did it spur of the moment when I came out to my sister, because she was asking me what guys I like. I went 'well, I'm kinda gay', and she acknowledged it and we swiftly moved on. We haven't talked about it since. There's no specific age or time to come out. Just, whenever you feel ready. It's completely personal to you. You say you can talk to randomers on the internet so... Why not try having a conversation with someone online, in which you act like you're coming out to your parents, and then giving them the transcript? It's just an idea. It may make it easier for you, since you say you also can't write things down. But don't feel rushed. You have a lifetime to do it.
I'm 41 and came out when I was 21, I had a change of circumstances, house move etc which kinda put me back in the closet where I still currently reside whilst I consider trying again. My parents didn't ever find out and its them that puts me off I think, one day maybe I will get over it. My teenage kids find it hard to communicate verbally at times, with things that really matter to them, so sometimes they will txt me or e mail, as a parent I don't mind as long as I get to be on the same page as them with whatever is going on. Also when I respond it gives me more time to consider what I want to express back. Also I do think its hard when you hear that other people that are perhaps younger than you have come out, measuring yourself against peers can screw you up a bit. If you can, remember you are unique and so is your situation and when you are ready to come out, you will.
