Hi there I'm a cis female, so I obviously have a limited understanding of all gender identities and expressions. But I'd like to be as well informed as possible! So, what are a few things you wish everyone understood about your gender and how you express it?
To save you a long read, I'll break it down to this: I want to be seen as an individual, as a person. I don't want to be perceived as a freak, confused, or some fetish. Anything else, begins to come down to individual experiences and expectations.
I very teeny tiny part of me likes the fact I'm a fetish because it means I get attention... but otherwise being a fetish is def a bad thing, and being a freak or confused is bad too. I also wish people didn't instantly label me as gay because I look feminine. I mean yeah they're right lol but I still wish they didn't automatically assume that, because not all crossdressers or transwomen got the hots for guys. Gender and orientation are separate things.
Treat me like you don't know. Don't other me or treat me special or different. If you're just a nice person and be nice, we're cool. You don't have to understand, you don't have to like it, just be nice to me.
I wish people would see me as more than just the token transgender person. I am more than my transgender identity, and some people simply cannot see that. I also wish that people understood that being transgender is not something that you can choose. It is something that you are born as. So, there is no changing it.
That's it's okay to not completely be one or the other. I'm somewhere in between, and that's okay. It doesn't make me a liar or someone going through a phase. I don't want to be treated like a societal anomalie
I wish people understood that there is more than just "male" or "female" and just because someone dresses a certain way (ex. Wears a dress) does not mean they aren't the gender they say they are. (Ex cont. A man)
That trans people aren't to be tokenized and we aren't doing what we do to be "cool" or "edgy". This is life or death and it's not a hat we can take off at the end of the day or put on when we choose to.
That I didn't choose to feel like this and it's really important to me for people to be respectful about it. I'm not doing this for fun, it's because I actually can't live any other way
that its not lying or pretending to be male, i just am. oh and also that I have no idea what they're talking about when they say "the surgery"
My non-binary identity is just as valid as binary identities, and I shouldn't have to justify my identification for the sake of anyone else. And, for fuck's sake, can the phrases "transgenders", "a transgender" and "become trans" be obliterated from language as a whole.
That I'm not a freak show, I don't think it's funny to be laughed at or pointed at because I look like some cross dressing ten year old, I'm just trying be happy in my life, in my own skin. I do this to feel comfortable, to feel normal, and if it's not hurting you, why bother pointing it out?
Welll... The thought was always, always, "Don't think the way I look means anything about how I feel or am." Started using a 'mask' of behavior that almost started being real. I feel silly saying this.
So many experiences. And here's another. I want people to realize that, as stated before, I'm more than just my appearance. I'm Bio male. I've got a beard. I've got a penis. But that makes me a person with a male anatomy. Not a man. Not totally... Inside, I'm more feminine. I like to be pretty. I like pretty things. I like love stories. I like to have my children's approval. And love. I love to create beautiful things like jewelry. I am very protective of my kids. My nest. That may not make me a woman either, but oh well. I'm a person. Sometimes feminine, sometimes slightly more masculine. But most importantly, I'm just me. So please don't point and stare.
that it's not OK to ask me about my genitals that it's not OK to ask me about medical procedures that it's not OK to ask me about my sex life that just because I'm trans doesn't mean you should ask me anything you wouldn't ask a cis person You'd be surprised at how many super personal questions I've gotten from strangers, man, it's a little ridiculous! thanks for making an effort to understand!
For me I just people could see me as the guy I really am. I know that won't happen because they can't just travel through my mind, though I still wish that they would treat me as a guy and disregard my female body. I don't always want to be seen as that transgendered guy male wannabe, just as an individual with feelings, desires, beliefs and thoughts like everyone else (not as a freak).
That my trans history doesn't entitle others to treat me like a freak. That it isn't the biggest part of me, or even a terribly significant part of my identity.