Had a lovely week with my boys and it has really done my confidence good. I now know I don't need anyone else in my life in fact I'm better off alone. Just me and my boys is fine. However my husband still has the power over me. I can't afford to pay the solicitor to start the divorce and my husband won't give me the information I need to sort out the finances. He says we haven't got the money. I know we have some shares but he won't sell them. There are some in my name so I have asked him for the information regarding those now. Don't know if he will give it me though. I don't get his logic. He has a girlfriend and is happy. Why can't he let me move on too. I'm stuck in a house I can't afford and can't maintain and he's moved on to a bachelor pad and has a younger woman by his side. Why make me suffer. I just want the arguing to stop and for me to be free of all this. :-(
Well done for reaching this realisation. If you are hard up, can you get some legal aid or see the Citizens Advice people? This guy needs a wake up call. Maybe a (subsidised) solicitors letter would do that? (FAB cakes BTW - such imagination !!) :eusa_clap
CAB is a good idea. Thank you I will try talking to them. I really want to use the solicitor I have as i know she is good and my husband wants custody of the children. I have a fight on my hands. CAB is a good idea to get help in releasing funds though. Really sad my ex wants to make everything so difficult but he is use to getting his own way. I think he expected me to fall apart when he left.
I don't really have much experience of this sort of thing. Sounds horrid situation. But maybe your solicitor would write a very simple letter without charging, or without charging much? Or pay her with … a cake!! She's bound to agree!!
I like your style thanks for your support. Just a horrid situation. I brought my boys back to see my ex today because he was missing them yet he still treats me like this. I just want it sorted so that we can both move on with as little contact as possible. Very sad but I can't see any other way now.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I was VERY lucky to have a wife who was understanding and supportive - so our divorce was amicable and straight forward. I played my part as well - as I was completely transparent with our finances, and very fair in the distribution and ongoing support payments. It really is critical that you get the advice of a lawyer. Do you have friends or family who could lend you the money for the lawyer until your own money is made available to you? I know in my sister's case she didn't want her husband to know that she was seeing a lawyer, so my parents paid the lawyer. It truly isn't fair that he is holding you hostage like this - and regardless for the reason of your marriage ending, he needs to honour his commitments to you and his children. I'm not sure how he expects to take custody of your children when he is living in a bachelor pad with his new girlfriend anyway. The sad truth is likely he doesn't really want custody of the kids, but just wants to use that threat to keep you in your place. Get a lawyer and get a better sense as to where you stand. The fact of the matter is it would be highly unusual for a court to grant sole custody to a father if the mother was a good parent. I doubt that he would have a leg to stand on. Of course, I don't know much about family law in Great Britain - my experience of course is with the Canadian system. If you do want to chat though, feel free to send me a PM.
I really feel for you Penpal, you must be really at your wits end with this! I don't understand what your husband is going to gain by making life so difficult. Could it be a control thing? Surely he knows that by trying to hurt you he is hurting the children as well? I really hope your situation improves soon, a solicitors letter maybe the wake up call he needs!
