Late Bloomer Embarrassment?

Hadn't looked at it like that... It would validate in that they noticed and may in a way confirm things. And therefore, help with knowing that it is not just in your head...

I have one friend who used to talk a bit about LGBT themes (not really anymore), as she has many lesbian friends (but isn't herself as far as I know). It always made me a little uncomfortable as I didn't really know how to respond. Now, I'm wondering if she was trying to figure out if I was gay or if she is gay but didn't wanted to tell me because I'm a christian. A bit of a mess this...

When we had just become friends, I told her at one point that I was religious and she was suprised: she didn't think I was the type, or that I would have looked/been different. So maybe she did figure I was gay... I don't know. She's an atheist and one of two friends who are not religious and, therefore, probably one of the first people I will eventually come out to

 

So very many emotions, like everyone else. I have felt stupid and embarrassed about the fact that it took until I was 50 before I finally accepted being gay and started working on coming out to the world. I had a 3-year crush on a college roommate that led to one drunken experience, rarely dated girls and always felt awkward about it, felt attractions to guys and never to girls, watched gay porn and debated coming out--and then I met a woman who I liked who showed a definite interest in me, and I waited around for 4 or 5 years till she was free to marry me. After 20 years and 2 kids with her I finally decided I wasn't bisexual or "curable" and started coming out. Clueless, stupid, yeah. Confused and afraid, absolutely.

And frustrated with myself too. I made a lot of unfair assumptions about gay people and whether I would be accepted by them, and suffered the consequences of those assumptions. I always considered myself fairly open minded, and here I painted a whole group of people with a broad and closed-minded brush--and painted over myself in the process. What was I thinking?

But I'm trying to keep applying those emotions to past bad decisions, and not to my present circumstances. I may be embarrassed about being IN the closet until I was over 50, but I refuse to be embarrassed about coming OUT of it. That's been the single best decision I've ever made for myself, and I'm more than willing to share it. Honestly, the people closest to us, the ones who love us the best, will see that we're doing this because we're accepting ourselves, and will ignore the embarrassment because they don't feel it themselves. The people who love you won't think you're stupid for waiting till you're 30 or 50 or 70. They'll rejoice that you've finally found your way.

 

I was in my late 20's when I came out, so I can relate. But, life isn't about the destination it's about the journey. Thinking about how long it took you to get here isn't going to change anything, the point is you got here. Now move on form this point not a past one.

 

I feel foolish. Blind.. Also confused. It took me 25 years and two years of marriage to figure it out. Im still not sure i did.

Just wish I knew before I met my husband. He doesn't deserve this..

 

@thestorm inside I think your right I will . I hope we both find someone

 

More surprised and confused than embarassed; but I guess that too. Some things just don't make sense until they do.

Late-bloomers, unite!

 

No one has even asked me any questions like this. And I was 38 with a small child a recent exhusband. When I tried to come out at 19, I got a lot of questions and was told I was confused and "going through a phase like everyone else."

I think we spend so much time in our own heads worrying about coming out that we think others will care / object more than they do. Seriously, not one person has asked me if it was true, why I married a man, why I was coming out at this time rather than before. No one - gay or straight.

I do think I have a lot more confidence now than when I was younger. Nowadays when I come out to someone, i just tell them. When I was 19, I was actually questioning and confused. But no one thought I could be gay because I look feminine and not athletic , don't fit the stereotype for lesbians or whatever. Those things are still true but I've discovered that there are lots of us out here. My own stereotypes about lesbians were so wrong.

 

I can relate. I'm 25 and just realized my gender last year. It embarrasses me that I didn't know at a young age, and I'm afraid that people won't take me seriously since I didn't realize it sooner.

 

I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed for not realizing I was gay until I was 23 or that I still haven't had any sort of relationship with a guy. I came across a documentary movie called Bridegroom and was fascinated with their story. The guys met when neither were out, became friends and eventually boyfriends with plans of marrying. Tragically one died suddenly, but up to that point I'm thinking how perfect and wonderful. That's really all I want, except for the sudden death part obviously. I guess some people are luckier than others or are lucky in different ways.

 

I am not sure how I will feel once I decide to come out to everyone.
Embarassed? maybe. Not sure how I will feel.