Found 12 year old son viewing gay porn - PLEASE HELP!!!

You sound very controlling.

So he's watching porn, big deal, you can bet everyone of his classmates are as well.

Give him some privacy and hopefully if you don't carry on making a mountain out of a molehill he may one day come to you to discuss his attraction to the same sex.

 

I really have no advice or anything of that nature. I have no idea what you as a parent are going through or thinking about but I'll simply share my experience.

First, I looked at porn when I was in 7th grade, which I think is at age 12. I am not justifying it or saying it's whats best, but that your son isn't doing anything that I would find abnormal. I've talked about this with my friends and it seemed like for most of the people I know that's about the age we all started.

Next: despite watching gay porn since the age of 12, I did not admit to myself that I was gay until I was 19 and a freshman in college. I went to jr/sr prom and had no attraction to my date. I convinced myself for all of those years that I was at the very most bisexual, but that I liked girls too and that I'd always end up with a girl. My denial was so strong that I didn't question it, and I had myself convinced that I wasn't gay. I remember even thinking boys were cute in elementary school. It was just something I always thought and something I always buried deep inside.

Your son could be curious. He could be gay. He could be bisexual or any number of other orientations. From my experience though, I'd bet he's not straight. Going on that site once or twice is one thing, but watching the same video over and again tells me he liked that video. Also I talk openly with all of my straight friends, and none of them can even look at gay porn without cringing and turning away.

If he is gay or at least not straight, he'll tell you when he's ready. Glad to hear you'll be supportive of him. Good luck to you and your son

 

You do sound controlling, and while I would be upset if I ever found my future child looking at porn I'd let it go, he is still fairly young and most likely didn't know any better, and if his friend told him to look at it then cut him some slack, he may not have even known what it was.

 

i can gather nearly every male on the face of the earth has watched gay porn its no big deal and so what he watched it let him be and that if he is gay he is and like you said you love him no matter what.

 

I didn't catch that part, my mistake.

 

hey welcome to ec..it does sound like hes gay possibly bi.its really great you have said you will support him. it sounds like he has shame issues(which is very normal) and to talk about this to his mum and especially given his age hes unlikely to want to talk about it with you. but just give him time.id avoid forcing the topic with him but take every opportunity to be supportive of lgbt issues around him.
its pretty common for parents to to enter the stages of loss after finding out there child is gay.if that is the case i don't know. but if it is dont worry its normal and remember being gay in this day and age doesn't carry nearly the stigma it used to and gets better every year.
im sorry if i havt got the best advice for you but stick around and share any issues fears you have.it might also help to explain the kind of environment you live in .are the schools his other family gay friendly ect.and how you are coping with it.

 

I do think you are doing your job as a concerned parent but you also have to realise that he's at the age of being curious and interested with this kind of discovery. He's not the only 12 year old who is like this.

As for your question, It may be that your son is gay, maybe he isn't and you're right about his age being too young to identify his sexuality but talk to him that sex is a natural thing and if he ever wants to ask about it then you're there for him.

It seems like there was something that happened between him and David that makes him really upset when you guys talk about it, give him time to open up about this but also make reassurance that you are there for him if he needs someone to talk to.

 

i think you are doing pretty well so congrats.leave coming out to him if it will hurt his relationship with his father then telling him is a bad idea. but try to encourage a environment where he feels loved and respected put some focus on what you like about him let him know these things if hes caring for example tell him you love that about him.its great his other siblings are supportive of lgbt issues these things really do help.you dont have to bring up the topic by name.but saying things to him like '' i hope you know you can always talk to me might break the ice''i realize you might be pretty stressed about all this but i think you have shown him you still love him and thats the main thing at this stage.hope you hang around.

 

Cann, watching porn online, like looking at Playboy and similar mags when you were a kid, is something most teenage boys do. It is normal. It's not something social services is going to knock down your door over because, if they did, they'd be knocking on almost every door with a teenager in it. If looking at porn is something you have moral objections to, that's fine, a lot of people do, and it's something you can and should discuss with your son. But it's not abnormal or unusual, it's not unexpected, and it's not something you're going to get in trouble with the law over.

 

Okay I just have to say this, I am appalled by some of these responses that say that Cann is too controlling. She is the parent. If she doesn't want her son looking at any porn that is her right, and she is doing what is right for her son. I applaud you for trying to take steps to understand where your son is coming from. Yes, he is young but he may need some more time to process this for himself. He may know he is attracted to boys but may not be ready to admit it even though you told him that it wouldn't matter either way.

Just give him some time. You seem like a great mother. If you do not want him to watch porn then you do whatever you need to do. It doesn't matter if it is gay or straight porn. Do what you think is best for your child.

 

on the issue of porn.not that i think seeing or not seeing porn would hurt him.the fact that you found out and his dad might if he could still see it is reason alone to keep the child lock on.not to mention the risk of him joining dating sites or doing selfies.

 

Let's ignore the porn issue for right now. He said he was not gay. Even if you have suspicions that he might be, it's best for you to take him at his word for right now.

You told him that you will love and support him no matter what, and that is the most important thing. As long as you make it clear to him that you love and support him and keep the communication channels open when he needs to talk to his mom, he will hopefully feel safe coming to you not just if he's gay but with whatever else he may be dealing with as he goes through adolescence.

 

thats good reasoning stay with it.i think people just don't like the myth that porn is harmful.but frankly i don't think this view has much weight on the issues you are trying to deal with.just ignore it.