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Poll: Coming out to everyone brings happiness?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by confuseduser99, Jul 27, 2014.

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Should I come out to everyone to bring me happiness?

  1. Yes

    16 vote(s)
    45.7%
  2. No

    7 vote(s)
    20.0%
  3. Other (explain)

    12 vote(s)
    34.3%
  1. confuseduser99

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    I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately, and I've been wondering, is coming out to everyone (at least the ones you're close with) vital to bringing you happiness?

    I've come out to my family (mom, dad, and sisters) and 4 friends of mine. It's brought me A LOT of happiness, and has allowed me to become more free and accepting of myself.

    I just don't know if I should come out to many others. I almost feel compelled too (not for others, but for myself). However, I also don't want to because word will go round, and everyone will know. It may hurt my status, and in the career that I want/am currently pursuing, avoiding "outing yourself" is preferable (it's a very public job).

    All this being said, should I come out to others (I return to college in Sept., so there's definitely a few people I'd like to tell), in order to bring me more happiness/freedom?
     
  2. Tetra

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    I don't think it will ALWAYS bring happiness, but at the very least, it'll help you to feel more authentic I think. I know that I feel a lot better about myself, and I've only told two friends (but both their reactions were positive, so that probably plays a big factor).
     
  3. RobinHood

    RobinHood Guest

    Just make sure you're outing yourself to people who respect you, who are close to you. You could find out what they think about LGBT+ community before you tell them. If I were you, I would avoid telling the people who could make a scene out of it.
     
  4. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    We'll I know that when I came out to my immediate family I felt great and I also came out to two of my closest friends and I just want to yell it to the world that I'm gay because after coming out to those people I feel better than I did before I smile so much my cheeks hurt! My friends have noticed too and mess around saying that it seems like I just had sex haha cx

    Well I'm so happy and if you get the positive reactions you are even more eager to come out! :grin: :grin: :grin:
     
  5. QueerTransEnby

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    I've been out to both parents since Wednesday. It has been utter hell. Send them a very tame article about how same gays feel homophobia in the church, and my mom calls it "disturbing". I am just about done...I've tried hard to start conversation and break the ice, but they've put up a wall. If you have older parents who are Christians, don't bother coming out.
     
  6. Caillin

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    Eh not really I mean in the long run yeah but ill still have people using incorrect pronouns ill still be stuck with a female body so there is no really instant happiness after coming out because id still have a long long way to go before I could even consider myself happy.
     
  7. shakeygraves

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    I don't necessarily think coming out to everyone will bring you happiness. If you feel like you're hiding who you are and it is taking a toll on your well being then yes yes yes muster up the courage and tell people. But if you're comfortable with who knows right now and they aren't on your "need to know" list. Then why bother stressing about it? I go through this a lot with extended family. I'm never sure if I should just come out and be like "Hey, by the way I'm gay." Or if I should just keep quiet. In my opinion, who needs to know will know. and with everyone else. If it happens to come up, then sure I'll say something.
     
  8. confuseduser99

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    Oh, the extended family! This is what I'm really debating with myself. They ALWAYS tease me about "being gay" or a "sissy" or being more feminine than most boys. Some of them have had their suspicions. One of my uncles made fun of me when I happened to be out with my friends the same day World Pride took place (I actually went to pride). He called my house and when my sister said that I was out with friends, he said "LOL! He went to pride with his boyfriend" (I've never had a boyfriend before). I sometimes think that I should just say "you know what? I'm gay" to family members when they tease me.
     
  9. ahardlife

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    I knew It was going to be difficult for me coming out some people just wont accept it . I had to go through allot of stuff before I got to the point that I was happy.
     
  10. justjade

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    It does make me feel better when I come out more. I think if I was just out to everyone, I'd be really, really happy.
     
  11. PlantSoul

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    When I came out to myself, if it counts, it brought me a lot of happiness and inner peace.

    When I came out to my friend and a two doctors, it brought some relief because I know that I have got some backing support.

    I just came out on another site, though quite frankly, I am a little scared about the potential feedback, writing the truth gave me more relief because, it felt like I was no longer lying to them about who I was.

    While coming can make you happy, it can also do the opposite. Not everyone will be accepting/tolerating of your identity. You may even feel as if you are quaking underneath the stress. I am not trying to discourage you on coming out, but if you do be prepared.
     
  12. Higs

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    For me, definitely no. Not everyone I'd like to know is accepting, and I haven't came out to all of them but now being around the people that don't know I can't help but feel somewhat guilty for lying.
     
  13. BryanM

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    From my personal experience: Yes, it did.

    From an advice POV: do whatever you think would benefit you the most.
     
  14. Candace

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    It depends on whom I want to come out to. I'd never come out to homophobic family friends since they're just not worth the pain and drama. I'd be much happier if they didn't know and were shut out of my life altogether.
     
  15. Sam.i.am1130

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    I dont think everyone has the same experiences.. Mine was more like a TS than the pictureesque happy gay guy. By that time i had done so many femminine things they already knew.. But it still feel very awkward saying it in words, and one has to be careful about their actions.. Just because you are out does not mean it is wise to turn off your instincts and other kinds of judgement. The world is just not set up for that. Its dangerous. YOu gotta do things intelligently.
     
  16. greatwhale

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    One doesn't come out to be happy, that needs to be said. One comes out because the alternative, staying closeted, is a sure-fire way to be unhappy.

    Life offers no guarantees of happiness. It is not an accident that the word "happiness" is related to "happens" or "happenstance", one can call happiness an unpredictable, "happy" accident!

    However, happiness can be said to be simply more likely if the things that make you unhappy disappear. And being closeted is no way to live happily...
     
  17. Tightrope

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    I think:

    Come out or, better, be up front with those who either know with certainty (they've caught you with your hand in the cookie jar), those who have it figured out and will still respect you, and those who matter to you and YOU want THEM to know.

    Don't come out to those for whom they will treat it as a "feather in their cap," who will always start a sentence with "You know so and so, well he's gay and ... " Such people are despicable. Sorry.

    Hopefully, group 2 doesn't mix with group 1.

    That's how I view this and it may not be the most popular viewpoint here.
     
  18. Greeley

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    This question is clearly from all personal experience.

    I put yes because once i came out to the people that mattered (family and close friends) i was all happy and everything was clearer and easier.
     
  19. BelleFromHell

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    I've come out to a lot of people. It has not made me feel any less shitty. If anything, it's made me feel more shitty. Then again, you aren't a self-educated dumbass whose entire family is out to get you.

    If you know the people you're coming out to aren't homophobic, I say yes.
     
  20. Lewis

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    To an extent. You come out, feels great, but then other life problems arise. I don't think anyone is ever truly content.

    Coming out is so important though, it allows you to be you.