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My mom tried to out me

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by TheFSM, Jul 26, 2014.

  1. TheFSM

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    Soo my day has been a mess.

    I was outside with friends and went to some public bathrooms and asked if I could go in for free. they said ok and pointed to the ladies bathroom... -_- anyway so I got in ad went over to the males bathroom anyway. As I got back out they stared at me...
    Anyway I told my mom (not biological mom) about it (i am out to her) and she continued talking about it as my dad entered the room............
    she was saying something like "well they weren't thinking and then probably thought you were a girl"
    My dad asked what is going on.. I didn't answer I was really mad at my mom...
    after that sh went into my room and asked me if I wanted to talk to her because she is such a good listener or something.. wtf?!?!

    I am super mad.. i don't think she should put me in a situation where i have to out myself. i already felt shitty before and she knew it and then she does that.......... ._.
     
  2. Peacemaker

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    um, that really seemed like an accident its not like your mom knew your dad was going to come in
     
  3. DhammaGamer

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    Give your mom a break. It sounds like she cares about you.
     
  4. TheFSM

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    Yes she knew he was coming in we could both hear him and she could see him.
    No I am not giving her a break. It is just not something you should do to people and i will tell her how i feel about it, I thought i could tell her without her outing me to others. that is just not right
     
  5. Tai

    Tai
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    She may be trying to help you come out to your dad easier. It's a possibility. In my opinion, it's easier to have a "messenger" when you tell one parent but haven't told the other yet. I'm going to do that when I come out.
     
  6. TheFSM

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    Ok but in that case you ask the perosn first if they want you to put out the message
     
  7. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    A Mom here. Your Mom probably feels blessed you trust her with such a big secret. Maybe Your Mom does not want to break your trust but at the same time does not want to have your Dad doubt hers if he thinks she is keeping something from him. Did you discuss a timeframe inwhich you would tell your Dad? Maybe talk to her about that. Think that would help.
     
  8. Apropos

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    Been there. Not with my ma, but with others. When this happens I tend to begin seeing these people as untrustworthy and less deserving of my secrets. But I don't want to be the one to counsel you into isolation from your parents.
     
  9. ForAlgea

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    When I came out to my best friend the first thing she did was tell her sister. afterwords I was pissed, but I forgave her "it's not like you told my family". The net time I talked to her she had told everyone in her family and her boyfriend, she told me "You said as long as I didn't tell your family". I was so pissed I didn't talk to her for god-knows how long. It was terrible. Even though she did that, she is the only person that supports me. I think you need to choose your battles. Even if your mother is trying to out you (but really this could have been a slip of the tongue), can you really handle starting a big fight with somebody who obviously is on your side?
     
  10. TheFSM

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    I totally get what you are saying. the thing if she would have asked me or i would have told her to I would have been fine with it. Yes I guess I will just talk to her about the situation and why I was not okay with her doing what she did. We did not discus a time frame. Maybe i will do that too. Thanks for the advice.
     
  11. TheFSM

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    oookay. do I talked to my mom and she said that she thought my dad was going in and out of the room throughout the whole conversation and that I started openly talking about it when he was in the room. so it was a misunderstanding sort of... well now i know that her intentions were not to out me to my dad