what makes someone 'look' gay?

They usually stereotype feminine guys as gay and masculine women as lesbians.
In reality thats hardly ever true.
I know some girly lesbians and manly body building gay men.

Also it doesn't indicate a persons gender identity either because a person could feel fully male or female and choose to express them selves as the other.

 

Ugh homophobes.....(you CANT look gay those are just stereotypes) I've delt with a couple of them before. People think that I look gay because I try to much, smile to often, and hang out with girls all the time? So what I don't like to luck like a slob in public!! So what I like to smile!! So what I hang out with girls all the time? They think they look cool trying to make me feel small but you need to kill them with kindness. I've always been able to do that smile because people hate in an effort to make you stop smiling. Brush it off get back up and keep your chin up!!BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!

 

Guys who take care of their appearance and hygiene are sometimes assumed to be gay.

 

Yeah, it's a bad stereotype that has been more apparent in my experience. Or maybe I couldn't tell if a masculine guy was gay or not. My gaydar is bad. I wish it was good, because I'd love to see more masculine gay men. Haha. :icon_wink

 

It's usually the mannerisms especially with your hands and the way you walk or talk. I don't think I fit into these stereotypes well (I'm not too sure though) but I think I have an alright gaydar. In school, my suspicions were usually correct XD (can't rly pinpoint how I can tell though. I just have suspicions :S )

 

I get misgendered a lot, almost everyone who meets me will think I'm biologically female.I list myself as genderqueer, but if I were to be specific, I would probably be an androgyne too. I have a good amount of femininity, but I have some masculinity in me too. For a while I felt like nobody would be attracted to me if I wasn't completely masculine so I cut my hair short and wore boy clothes. Then every time I went to restaurant with my mom I get the line "What can I get you two ladies?". I imagine they thought I was a lesbian, but nobody said anything.

More people than usual thought I was a man, but I'm still not sure if they thought I was straight. I didn't really care if they thought I was gay though, I was looking to attract men as well as women. In the end I just decided that I would wear whatever I want, and wear my hair however I want. Looking back at it I'm a bit ashamed honestly that I tried to change myself like that. Honestly I think that no matter what gender I would be perceived as I was never perceived as straight. I think that the reason for this is because androgyny and gender non-conformance will always be seen as "gay" by mainstream society.

Luckily I live in an area where nobody cares, just the other day someone used male pronouns for me and complimented me on my leopard print ruffle scarf that I made myself. That's something that makes people think you're gay too by the way. You should move to a liberal city, it's the best.

 

Why do you think this is so, Chip? I hapoen to agree that most gays fit some of the many stereotypes out there, but why is this? Is it a genetic thing? A hormonal thing?

 

They where probably saying the same about everyone.

What makes someone look straight? We are all individuals.

 

I'd say it's an unconscious societal thing.
You just try to be appealing or not appealing to a certain sex. Whether consciously or unconsciously.
You mold yourself towards something that you've percieved in your whole environment. Maybe something like that. I don't think it's genetic at all.
Genetics and behaviour, that's not something that's clear-cut in any way. Hormones, I don't know. I'd say you're adaption was first and then came the hormones. But that's some heavy speculation.

 

Fitting into a stereotype for gay people

 

I just had an interesting thought, interesting to me anyway. We still don't know, in a scientific sense, what "makes" people gay. Current speculation is that it is a genetic variant, possibly transferred from parents, possibly just one of a normal range of genetic possibilities that happens ~5% of the time, possibly some developmental influence in the womb. Nobody knows.

But consider this: What if whatever "makes" people gay (i.e. gay in the sense of same sex orientation) also "makes" some of these stereotypical traits that people with "gaydar" observe. In other words, the observable traits are just as much caused by this gay variation as is the orientation itself. This would explain why some of the traits that people say they can observe are statistically correlated positively with the gay orientation itself.

Because people intentionally in the closet try to suppress gay behavioral traits that can be observed by others, that would make it difficult for the casual observer to always see the behavior as a pattern, because some gay people would be suppressing some of these traits consciously, while occasionally letting the others slip through their mask inadvertently. Example, "straight acting" guys whose eye contacts reveal that they are tracking the good looking guy walking across the room instead of the girl walking nearby. Or that "straight acting" guy at the gym who tries to happen to be in the locker room just when the guy he is attracted to is hitting the showers or changing clothes, so he can get a casual peek. You would have to have highly tuned "gaydar" to see these very subtle behavioral cues as a pattern indicating a gay man in the closet, but they would be there.

Could they be "caused" by the same thing that "makes" a person gay? What do you think?

 

Their aura. No matter how hard they try to hide it I can always spot a gay man.

 

Looking shit hot. Usually those dressed much more fashionably than the average guy, well-groomed (brows, whitened teeth, tan) and just werkin' it. :roflmao:

On a serious note, it's all just a bunch of stereotypes. Some which I'm guilty of though! Not necessarily because I'm gay. To society even a straight guy can 'look gay'. But people use that term loosely now and being or looking gay doesn't necessarily mean somebody is gay.

I wear skinny jeans, tight(ish) t-shirts and like to be well groomed. So I could be seen as looking gay. Either way, take it as a compliment.

 

You say that but I think their is some truth to the stereotypes, otherwise their wouldn't be any stereotypes whatsoever. I've joined lesbian chatrooms before and can see a connection between lesbians and masculinity, they are defensive about it so are going to be biased against this stereotype, not all are manly but I would say a good few of them dressed like men and had short hair, I see that the lesbians are very easily angered, it may have something to do with testosterone.

As for gay men, yes not all are feminine but their more feminine gay men than straight, it's more likely to find a feminine gay than a feminine straight guy.

All the stereotypes are somewhat true otherwise why would people say them? Yes gay men tend to be feminine, skinny, good hygiene etc. These are stereotypes that are somewhat true but it doesn't mean it applies for the whole population, there are very masculine gay men out there for example a lot are bodybuilders. I can remember them saying a lot of bodybuilders are gay/bi, I'm one myself.

 

People often think this , gay man feminine and lesbian super masculine woman .
People never think the opposite of the two .

 

HAHA! So based on my avatar photo (that's actually me), do I look gay to you?

 

This line of thinking would seem to make sense to me. It goes way beyond my ability to reason it out in writing, but when I read the post it just seemed to make sense.