"Substitute teachers that we didn't like" experiences

I remember one substitute teacher that took over my Science Class one time and he was a slightly aged, Asian man with a very strong Chinese accent.
The only reason he stood out to me is that he butchered my name. I wouldn't have minded it as first but then he decided to repeat the butchered name beyond reason like it was a piece of food that he had to savor and identify the different flavors.

The entire time this was me:

 

In second grade I asked the sub Miss May if I can go to the bathroom and she asked if it was an emergency so I said yes than she said no I couldn't go, I almost peed my pants.

 

Oh gods. There was this substitute teacher when I was in sixth grade. She was African-Ameircan, and she was incredibly short; she also reminded me of a muppet because she had these freakishly long nails and what looked to be shoulder pads under her tiger print coat

 

I don't want to encourage our younger members (LOL), with some of the stuff I used to do to teachers, especially substitute teachers, with a few exceptions.

So, I'll just leave it at this:

Substitute Teachers - 0, Me - 6.

 

I had a sub in my pre-algebra class a few years back. He was from the south, and very much into traditional male/female roles/etiquette. He would not let girls do anything helpful (passing out papers, attendance paper to office, etc.) and made a random girl curtsy for the guy doing the thing. He also picked on me, as a trans masculine person in class. I hated him so much, the pretentious sexist prick.

I had a sub that same year who kept telling us stories during a test and wouldn't let us do actual work. He distracted us for the entire period, and nobody finished on time. Almost everyone failed the test.

 

About a week back, we had a substitute for a lesson. The girl opposite shouts at the supply teacher telling him that I'm wearing mascara, the supply tells her not to be silly, makeup is for girls after all. So I'm sitting there getting progressively more angry as he talks and I turn round and tell him that I am, in fact, wearing mascara. He looked like he'd just witnessed something terrible and he just turns away and says nothing more. It was so funny!

 

It REALLY rubbed me the wrong way when this one sub attempted to teach our class as if he was the real teacher. It was history, and he asked us what we were currently studying. We were doing a section on Islam and early Middle Eastern empires. He proceeded on the "Oh yeah, I know ALL about that topic" kick, and then told stories about his travels to the ME and how much respect he has for the Islamic religion. THIS IS HISTORY CLASS. I don't care about how you went to Saudi Arabia, and did that and that, and how much you LOVE Islam. I want you to hand out the class work (which he threw at us as we left class and told us to do it as homework) and make sure nobody acts a damn fool in class. That's it! It was a borderline comedy show.

I also got a lot of subs who didn't speak fluent English. I don't know how you expect to be a sub when you can't speak English. That's kind of a prerequisite for the position...

The best subs were either totally cool and gave no fucks whatsoever, or they were proper and just made sure everyone was tame without trying to teach the lesson as if they were the real teacher. The totally cool subs were best coupled with totally cool teachers. So the sub would come in and say "Is this AP Molecular Genetics?" We'd nod our heads. Then he'd say "Mkay, your teacher says you're ahead of schedule and he couldn't be bothered to write up a lesson plan. Do whatever you want as long as it doesn't involve sex or drugs, and I'm going to get some work done on my computer. Kthxbai." That was the coolest thing ever when that happened.

 

BOY DO I HAVE SOME STORIES (but my favorite stories are of positive subs) and I have nicknames for all the regular subs

There's a sub that everyone in my middle school and high school knows of. She's a mean-spirited 70-80 year old lady who spends most of the class yelling at people and sending them out. She's condescending and just generally not a fun substitute.

HOWEVER she has one redeeming quality: her name is Mrs. Butterworth

NO JOKE. she gets SO mad when people laugh at her name but all I can think of is maple syrup

 

I guess the worst for me was a p.e. sub we had in 4th grade, she was given a program to follow by our regular teacher and she threw it away. Made us run 16 laps one way and 16 laps the other way around the gym. If we tried to stop for water we had to do an extra lap each way. After those laps she told us to do 20-30 sit ups, push ups and crunches. After that 2 minutes of wall sits. Once class was over 3ish kids puked, one during the laps and she still made them run.

 

There was a substitute teacher in my elementary school that subbed for any teacher k-5. So, I had her at least once in every grade. She was really old and would always call everyone the wrong name. Her name was Mrs. Hoover and everyone I remember all the kids calling her Mrs. Vacuum. She loved math and would alway make us do math worksheets regardless of what subject we were studying at the time.

 

There used to be this teacher in our school, I don't think she actually taught anything. But she was the universal substitute. If ANY teacher couldn't come for some reason, she'd go and take the class. Whether it was a first grade or twelfth grade class. The subject teacher would leave work to do and all she had to do was come and give it to us. But as far as I know, she didn't actually teach any classes.

It was really weird

 

There was this one substitute teacher who subbed for my geometry class in highschool, he spent the entire class period telling us his life story. He was a nice guy and the work was review anyway but it was awkward. Then in my history class we had a substitute who insisted that all native american peoples lived in tepees and got in an argument with the class when we told him he was wrong and that ended up taking the whole class period. I don't think he ever subbed at my school again.