"straight" girl in love with her lesbian friend?

Hello everybody,

I need to share something with you, which is happening in my life lately...

A few words about myself first:
I'm 23 and until a few months ago I didn't have any concerns about my sexual orientation. I have had just 1 serious relationship in the past, which was straight. One-night stands and dates all have been straight too.

Now let's start with the story...

My close friend -lesbian- broke up with her girlfriend last winter. The relationship lasted ap.2 years.
During her breakup I was one of the few people who stood beside her & helped get back on her feet after this hard time. During that period we came really close...
-I have to mention at this part, that I have moved to another country recently, due to studies-
Still texting each other & talking on a daily basis though. I have started to develop feelings for her, I miss her when we're apart for too long, I imagine having sex with her, how the future would be etc...
I have to add here, that we always talked openly about our sex life to each other.
I can feel that something has changed in our relationship and the feelings are mutual.
But there is something keeping her from expressing herself...

One month ago, we went to a concert together, which we had planned when I was still there. I could tell from her eye-contact, her body language and pretty much everything that she's being different towards me...

After the concert we went for a drink with some company. It was so nice being her around again, but we hadn't really had the chance to talk privately. So at one point I followed her to the toilets..on the way we had a chat with a guy and the idea of a 3-some came up (he mentioned it) -she has told me several times after the breakup that she's up to that . Well, it didn't happen anyway, because we both had to catch our flights back & had to leave. On the way to the airport she told me "I might have gone for it, but it was you..."
I didn't know what to respond... got some really mixed feelings about this...what does she mean?

Is it just too soon after the break-up? Is she afraid to lose our friendship? Is she afraid of rejection? Has it anything to do with me haven't had a gay-relationship in the past?

I'm going to see her next month, we will have a lot of time to spend together there. I really can't wait to see her...
She has already made plans to spend some time just the 2 of us.
But how should I approach her? How do I know if it's the right time to tell her?

Excuse me if I a little bit "teenage" but this is the first time that something like that is happening to me...

Any advice/help highly appreciated...

Thanks in advance!

 

As far as her saying "I would have gone for it..but it was you.." she probably is trying to respect that she believes you are totally straight and doesn't want to jeopardize your friendship. She could also be worried because if she gave in and had sex with you and you decided that it wasn't something you were interested in anymore...that really hurts. She may be trying to protect herself from that, especially if she has feelings for you. In that case, it just takes honesty and communication.

As far as telling her how you feel about her, just be honest! tell her what you told us, that you really miss her when she's far away, your feelings towards her have been changing, you're very attracted to her and make sure you tell her what you want out of this--not just some experiment, but something with a future.

Then it's just a matter of does she feel the same? Only she can tell you that, you've just got to ask.

Good luck

 

I will do & I hope I won't just ruin this thing we have..

Friends keep telling me that I feel this way because I know she's lesbian and that I wouldn't get attracted to her if she was straight.. but I know this feeling is real...even when she hugs me, really can't explain it! I'm just going crazy..

 

Hello again,

would just like to make an update on my situation.

She is recently hanging out with a girl, still talks openly to me about it. I havent figured out what her expectations are yet, though.
All I know is that this makes it even harder to approach her. Im getting this feeling that she just wants to play with me. I am texting her less and have taken some distance recently. She felt it and keeps telling me that she misses me & loves me and that she hates it when we dont talk or text.

I dont know how I should confront this anymore...