I need to get counseling. I have become depressed, scared, lonely and withdrawn. I have insurance but the copay is still $40 each time. Which I cant afford. I dont really have a low income either. I have a husband who isn't the best at contolling how he spends money. Anyway..any suggestions where I may find counseling for a women who is married needing to tell her husband she is queer and doesnt want to be married anymore. But doesnt want to hurt him either. I really need to do something. But anymore I hardly have the want to get out of bed. Thanks.
Are there any LGBT resource centers in your area? Or you can try social services or even a woman's center? They may not have services but maybe suggestions.
I am not a psychiatrist but if you can't get out of bed, you are definitely depressed and you will need prescribed medication which can only come from a psychiatrist. You need to call your local elected official's district office and find where you can find such low cost psychiatric clinics. Then you need to find no cost support groups of individuals who are to make a break from their marriage due to their change in sexuality. This is going to be an effort but in order to change. You must make things happen for yourself.
Are you an alum of a local university? They might have services for alumni that you can make use of. Have you looked into online lgbt therapists? Might be cheaper. Might even have a an option for a few free email correspondences. I'm not at my laptop right now but I think I've come across at least one. Maybe google "lesbian counseling" or "lesbian therapy".
This. It covers a lot of options - I'd say a women's center, then a LGBT resource center, and then social services, but you have to go through directories and pick the right kind of agency.
You don't absolutely need medication. You might, but no one can accurately tell you that over the internet. In many cases, depression is effectively (and pretty quickly) addressed through talk therapy, and there are a lot of advantages to that over antidepressants if it's an option that works for you. In your case, since the depression is likely tied to your feeling trapped in a relationship that isn't working, and living a life where you feel like you can't be yourself, my guess is that working with a therapist to address the issues will resolve the problem without the need for medication. In any case, what you do need is an evaluation. If your husband makes reasonably decent money, then one of the first steps you can take is to sequester some of it for your own needs, of which help with your depression should be right at the top of the list. If for some reason that isn't an option, there may be either peer counseling, or counseliing with psychologist interns available either through a local LGBT center if there is one in your area, or through a college or university nearby with a psychology program. That's where I'd start.
Thanks everyone. My local LGBT center suggested a few places to start. There is a family counseling center I am trying first they sometimes are willing to waive copay based on the severity of the case. I am trying there first, I guess they have an LGBT experienced counselor. Unfortunately our center doesn't currently have a group meeting for questioning or transitioning lesbians just a men's only group. My closest friend is also looking into some options where she lives. She has several lesbian friends with connections. Thanks again.
I have had 28 years experience married to a chronically depressed woman to know that when she could not get out of bed, then I had to bring her to a psychiatric unit of a hospital for a voluntary committal of a couple weeks at a time and anyone who is a trained Psychotherapist knows that this is a danger sign that can not be overcome with six months of talk therapy. If you can't get out of bed, go to a trained Psychotherapist who has a Masters degree in Social Work, Doctorate in Clinical Psychology or a certified Psychiatrist. In New York State, you need to be of these three to be someone who can give Psychotherapy. In other states, the regulations are much looser and anyone can be called a "Counselor". You need professional help from a professional and not an untrained amateur with "good intentions".
For the record, all 50 states regulate mental health counselors and the provision of mental health services, and licensure to provide mental health, counseling, and psychotherapy services requires a masters degree or better. Psychotherapists with a master's degree are called "counselors" or "marriage and family therapists" in most states, while "psychologist" is generally a term reserved for doctoral-level psychologists. Social workers have a wider scope of practice than psychologists do, and those who are LISW/LCSW/LMSW have the clinical training to do therapy; the MSW degree alone does not confer competence in psychotherapy. There are no states that allow "untrained amateurs" to provide counseling or therapy services. It is the skill of the particular counselor or therapist, not so much the training, that impacts how well the therapy process will work for any individual. Having been to many professional trainings with many different therapists, counselors, and social workers, I can say with a pretty high degree of confidence that there's close to zero correlation between the amount of education and the quality of the therapist. It generally isn't useful to generalize an individual experience (even a 28 year one) to other individuals. Some people do have an intractable depression that may require medication to overcome (and for some people, medication is not even effective.) Most others, such as the OP in this thread, have a specific, definable issue that is likely driving the depression, and in those cases, generally, when the issue itself is resolved, the depression also lifts.
Thanks for this info. You seem to understand. It is hard to get out of bed and face this false life I am living and am hoping to find someone to help me sort and identify my feelings. Help me find the strength I need to finally finish what I started two years ago. I am glad you are here to clarify this for others reading this thread. Plus meds are the last thing I want right now. Thanks for all you help.
Psychotherapists yes, but anyone can call himself a counselor. Any qualified psychotherapist will tell you that someone who is bedridden needs immediate hospitalization and can not afford the months it takes for talk therapy to take hold. The OP is talking about a false life and this is after starting two years to finish what she started. I doubt she will want to spend another two years in finishing. Meds can stabilize and uplift an individual from their depression in a matter of weeks so that she can make the right decisions for her life. First get the mind right and then you make the right decisions and plans. But just remember, time is not your ally here.
I would like to clarify that I am not bed ridden. And alot of things have taken place in the last two years. I am just now to a point where I feel I am living a false life. I want to get help now before I am to the point of needing meds. I feel there is an unnecessary debate happening here.
this is a distraction to the help asked for. Dancing Girl, your taking positive steps to help yourself ever forward even baby steps. we're all here for you but you know you need professional help from people who are trained, not untrained amateurs on the internet, including me, with even the best of intentions and your moving in that direction(*hug*) best of luck(*hug*)
Thanks lookingforme. That actually made me smile and feel a bit more positive about my actions. I did find out today that there are some free services through my work. I am checking into it tomorrow.
Hi DancingGirl, there might exist the option of counselling over the phone, or via skype. You could investigate that, it might be a more affordable option. Honestly, if I were a counsellor, with folks like yourself who can't afford to pay, and if I wasn't fully booked, I would just say "just pay whatever you can afford", if they were in the great need it appears you are in. Maybe there are some who are like that also, could be worth asking. I had better also add, that I don't advocate getting on meds, I have found counselling alone sufficient. There are also other things that can lift your state of mind, that are free of both cost, and potentially harmful side effects: physical exercise, paying more careful attention to eating healthily, and taking up a new interest such as a hobby, sport, creative pursuit, anything that will give you some inspiration. I just wanted to say, I've never willingly taken drugs for my depression, I've always managed with just counselling and the other options I mention above. (When I was a young teen, my mother had me put on pills, but that wasn't my choice, being a minor). (*hug*) Damien.
Thanks Damien. I am also looking into a counselor my boss talked about. She may waive my copay. When my boss was going through his divorce he went to her and she did that for him. I checked into her and LGBT is actually one of her specialties. My boss said she is really good and pretty much does what you said. Has a pay what you can policy. Sounds like she may be just the ticket. In her profile later in life coming out was mentioned several times. Plus she has a face. Wish me luck:icon_bigg
I'm glad to hear that option exists, and I definitely wish you luck! In fact I feel like creating some *GOOD FORTUNE* and sending it your way!
Hi there! Glad to read that you have found potentially a counsellor that could provide the help, and that you will be able to afford! That's great! Hope it goes well.
Henry, I'm sorry, but this is simply not true. As I said in the above post, all 50 states license mental health counselors. California, surprisingly, was the last to do so, in 2007 or so. And anyone who provides counseling services in mental health must have a minimum of a masters degree and qualify for licensing in his or her respective state. Again, it's not as simple as you describe. and again, your sweeping statement is simply not correct. There are a lot of nuances in depressive disorders. For example, there is short-term episodic depression that can be extremely debilitating, but lifts on its own, generally in under 2 weeks. There are depressions that are biochemical imbalances that may or may not require medication as the preferred means of addressing them, and there are episodic depressions, and depressions secondary to life situations (such as what we're likely seeing with the OP) and depressions that can be byproducts of dietary changes, (non-psychoactive) medication changes, loss of a relationship, death of a loved one, and various other things that can, temporarily, cause someone to have difficulty with daily functioning. A large number of those do not require medication, and most do not require hospitalization. To be honest, when you look at the blinded testing of SSRI antidepressants (the most commonly prescribed and used variety), the results are only very slightly better than placebo (less than 10% according to a number of studies), and many people get no benefit from them at all. In fact, there's some evidence that some herbal remedies are more effective than the prescription medications, and certain types of therapy (notably DBT and CBT) can have a very profound impact in a matter of two or three weeks. There are certainly cases where SSRIs and other antidepressant medications are helpful and effective. But the situation is far more nuanced than you are apparently able to grasp. You are certainly welcomed to state an opinion here, but one of the things that we value at EC is the accuracy of information shared in our community. So I'd again ask that you please not take your singular experience (as you seem to be doing) and generalize it to the experience of others, particularly when it appears you are not fully informed about either the nature of the licensure of the mental health profession or the differences between episodic vs chronic depression.