So recently I've been getting depressed because people my age are starting to become sexually active and all that. My bestfriend recently got a boyfriend and I'm insanely jealous. But being gay and barely out at all I can't really do anything like that. It's such a teenage boy problem but it'd be reassuring to hear someone else feeling the same:')
Im 25 and it sometimes still happens to me lol. My advice don't put so much pressure on yourself, it will happen when it does just because you're barely out doesn't mean anything. Life is funny sometimes, things happen when we least expect them. I remember feeling the same when I was in my teens with all the hormones and peer pressure, but like I said stop focusing on it all that much (and I know it gets hard when everyone is talking about sex) and just be yourself and enjoy yourself, everything else will happen in time.
...nah. I get where you're coming from, but there are so many more important things for you. Build a real, honest friendship that might turn into love when you're mature enough. If you're this focused on the idea of a relationship right now, you really aren't ready to have one. Be patient.
I guess? Everyone's boasting about their latest sexual adventures and I'm just sitting over there in the corner with a piece of cake and a very complacent mask on my face that screams, "I don't give a fecal particle about which girls you're fucking, thank you very much." But anyway, yeah. I'd like to get in a relationship someday, but like Jay47 said, I might not be ready to have one if I'm this focused on that idea.
Thanks both of you, I guess I have loads of time and probably shouldn't worry about something which is so trivial at this stage.
I know exactly what you're talking about and I've been there. It doesn't feel good. And I think it's also something that most everyone, gay or straight, has experienced at one time or another, though it's obviously more challenging for gay people. One's teen years are very focused on "fitting in." You can see that in the desire to have the "in" clothing, lunch boxes, shoes, hairstyles, etc. That, to some extent, is a hardwired part of the social development process, so it's something that a lot of people experience. The best suggestion I can give you is to recognize that what you're feeling is a combination of comparison (comparing yourself to others and seeing them as better or further along than yourself) and the normal yearning for connection. Often just recognizing that there are a lot of others in your shoes can help. I think the most important piece is knowing that it will get better in time. High school is tough for a lot of people, but often even more so for gay teens.
A lot of teens feel this way, and especially gay teens. The straight people around you have a large network of people that they can be sexually active and 'experiment' with. But us gay folks very rarely have even two or three people who are admittedly of the same sexual orientation, so it's perfectly understandable to feel a little left out. However, I'm 100% with Jay47 - you're not missing out on anything. You have more important things to worry about than sex. It's really not that amazing. My boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other and we were like, "That was way less of a big deal than people make it out to be." One other thing I'll bring up because it seems especially common in gay teens - online hookups. You may be aware of the apps or the websites out there that are designed to help gay guys find each other. Please, please, please, please... Do not use them. Save your first time until you have met the right person. You have plenty of time. So many gay teens I know opt to hook up with older guys online and it is almost always described as uncomfortable and not a healthy environment to have your first time in. So - yes, I and most other gay teens feel your pain, but having waited for a special person myself, I can tell you that you should not rush it. It's worth it when you're with the right guy.
I feel like that quite often. Not so much the sexual part; I want the relationship side more than that, though it's all made difficult by not being fully out. It will happen eventually and we'll all find people.
I feel you! Sometimes I get insanely jealous of my lesbian friends because it seems like they get in relationships or can get laid over night no problem. And for me it's like a lengthy calculus problem.
