Hello, I'm a 16 year old guy and questioning my orientation. I'm going to give a run down and hope some of you can help me understand who I am, it's a bit complicated. I remember liking girls since I was very young, kiddie crushes and all. When I was probably 8 an older boy got me to strip and tried to get me to suck him off, I wouldn't but I enjoyed being nude. I had several more crushes on girls. When I was probably ten I was at a sleep over and was wrestling with guys and kinda felt like I wanted more, I just didn't know what more was. Enter middle school and I fell hard for a few girls. I also started playing with my anus, it felt good, the "male g-spot" and all. I didn't feel gay and didn't really care for gay porn. In 8th I made it to second base with the girls a few times and wanted to have sex. I was hanging with a stoner friend and he revealed to me that he had done men before. We ended up having sex twice, but with no kissing. Once we were kinda drunk but I knew what I was doing. I couldn't get hard for the life of me. The second time it was cold. I got and gave head but still didn't get hard. I liked sucking dick but it got boring very fast. Still couldn't get hard. Maybe it was whiskey dick then being cold. He is now dating a girl and is very happy. I dated several girls my freshman year, having no problem getting hard and loving women romantically and physically. At that time I can't remember any attraction to men. I started dating my current girlfriend sophomore year, still no thoughts of men. We have had sex two times and I love her very much. I did notice three things though, once while giving head (It was her 1st time) I thought to myself "A guy could do better." The second (Shes has short hair) while having sex her hair kinda got pushed up like a fro hawk and I found it very hot, third, just before I put the condom on I get a little soft and she plays with me to get me hard, and then I'm good and sex is great. To that point I don't remember having an emotional attraction to men and all my previous feelings never added up. Soon they hit me all at once and I don't know what I am, it worries me and causes me GREAT amounts of stress. I went to a summer camp and noticed that the men had better butts than the chicks, and I found one guy attractive. Now gay porn really turns me on, along with straight and lesbian. I see pictures of men and women and the only thing I can think is if I find them attractive of not. Very forced thoughts. I know what type of women turn me on and I still find them more attractive than men. I told my girlfriend that I don't think I'm completely straight and she's fine with it, neither is she. Long story short, what do you all think I am? If I'm straight, great, if I'm bi, great, if I'm gay, fine. The sooner I know the sooner I can let my girlfriend off easy. If I'm somewhere in the middle that's fine too. I just need an answer and any ideas on how to accept it. Much Appreciated.
Personally you seem straight to me. The whole never having an intetest in guys and liking girls more romantically and physically is a big indicator in my book. You could be kinsey 2 maybe or 1 but I think you are stressing out and by forcing yourself to question so much you are confusing yourself more. I can't define you for you, but I hope my opinion is at least a little helpful!
You sound fairly straight, but maybe a tiny bit bisexual to me. I don't find porn preference reliable evidence because some lesbians enjoy gay porn and some gay men enjoy lesbian porn. But that's just my two cents, I wouldn't be able to tell for sure.
Thank you so much to both of you. What I really needed was some reassuring, and I agree on the kinsey scale of 1 or 2 so that helps a lot. I'm just going to try to let the stress go and let my body and mind work it out on its own.
Not so much being open minded as I would rather accept myself for who I am and live happily versus hating who I am until I die.
It doesn't sound like you hate your straight side, your bi side or your gay side... what exactly is it that you hate about yourself? What exactly is it that is stopping you from living happily? Do you hate your brain because it feels confused and muddled? Do you hate your body because it doesn't react the way you want to things that you think it should react to? Are you unhappy in your relationship with your girlfriend? By the way - relaxing and letting things be is a great way to find out who you are. It just takes a bit of patience and practice. So your own suggestion might have been the best one.
I hate the stress that comes with not being 100% sure about my orientation. My relationship is great, she is the most amazing woman in the world and a 10/10 in my eyes to boot.
Does your girlfriend know what her orientation is? you said she isn't completely straight either... maybe it's worth talking to her about it a bit more. Is "not completely straight" a label that you would accept? How do you deal with other stress in your life? (e.g. major life changes, work, school, financial problems, being too busy, family etc...)
She is probably a 2 on the kinsey scale. I have accepted that I'm not completely straight and that's a label I like. I'm just trying to make it so that my every thought isn't about it. I'm ocd so I obsess over things until I can make them go away. I fix things, whether it be rearranging my schedule or getting my grades up or hammering things out with a family member. Right now I'm obsessing over whether I'm Straight or slightly curvy.
