Hey! I've posted the odd thread here and I'm not really sure where to go now. So I started seriously considering my sexuality maybe 2 months ago now. Before that I hadn't really been attracted to anyone and just passed it off as not knowing many girls. When I realised, after coming to uni, that I knew a lot and wasn't into any of them, I started to wonder why. It's been stressfully combined with some very intense exams and they're finally over, giving me LOADS of time to think. I've now talked about this with 3 people. 2 I told pretty much because they're gay and another is a very close friend (who interestingly told me he was bi, leaning towards girls, when I told him.) The problem is I don't know how sure about things I should be before I get serious and tell others. I think I'm gay. I definitely have feelings for guys and I enjoy looking at guys and I've never had any interest in girls really. There's been the odd occasion but it always felt a bit forced. I had one fleeting relationship where I felt nothing for her and she was TOTALLY infatuated with me. I've never had a relationship with a guy and I expect a big part of this is because nobody would think to ask and there's no way I would. Too scared to as it would out me. There's a guy I like and I have very good reason to believe he might like me too (check the last thread I made) but, if he's not, and I tell him, I'll inevitably need to tell others. In the evening, when I'm on my own, I definitely think differently. This evening, right now I can't see any other option than I'm gay. It makes complete sense. But I don't tell people because when I wake up in the morning, and I'm talking to other people and socialising, I don't see it. I'm straight. Despite the fact I have no interest in girls. It's not helped by the fact I'm pretty rarely interested in anyone so I guess I'm just not a very sexual person. I think if I came out to friends at uni they'd be pretty accepting. I didn't think so before as I thought they were quite homophobic. However, recently we advertised to find a housemate for next year and an openly gay guy showed some interest and they were all really happy to live with him which was a nice surprise. Unfortunately he changed his mind so I can't use him to meet new people. I don't have a problem with being gay. I'd just really like to know so I can get a move on and meet people and have fun. I REALLY want to tell people but it's all seemed a bit fast. I've gone from considering myself straight 2 months ago to now being totally gay? Should I wait? One guy I talked to offered me a "trial by fire" to take me to Soho in London (which has a big LGBT area) to see how I feel. Problem is I know how I feel and I think I'll be terrified. I'm still going to be a closeted personality. I'm tempted to go anyway but I'm not sure. What do I do? I feel like I could tell people right now. Literally walk into my parents room and they'd be ok with it. I could tell my friends and they have 4 months of summer to be ok with it. Or I could sit it out and hope for more clues? BAH.
If you're sure (and it sure sounds like you're gay), just do it. Things will likely get better and in a few years you'll look back and wish you'd done it sooner. Life's too short to waste time in a closet.
Go to Soho and see how you feel in a setting where it does not matter to anyone that you are gay. If gay is what you are, you will not only confirm it, but you will probably have a rousing good time. If not, then none of your local friends has to know.
So I just came out to my parents. Big relief! Spent aaaages in the car trying to tell then then gave up and texted them even though they were right in front of me. Never been so stressed in my life haha.
