Can a heteronormative society influence your romantic orientation??

I think that one can be pressured by society and themselves to love someone they aren't attracted to, but I don't think a heteronormative society can change someone's sexual orientation. As you said, you later understood you only loved them platonically.

 

It's definitely possible, especially since finding someone to date/marry/be with romantically is so tied into society. Even in the U.S., with all its progress towards acceptance of diverse sexualities, whom you marry (if you marry) used to be such an important part of community structures that it'd be impossible to ignore the effect of that on your entire social and familial life. That's changing, but it's still how we were brought up perceiving the world: when everyone tells you "find a man you like" then you might go about it with the thinking that maybe you're just picky and haven't found the right guy yet. It's a convenient rationalization that helps keep people in the closet.

If you're in a country where values are even more traditional, I imagine it's way worse. You're told that in order to be happy you should marry a man. So yes, I can see that affecting who you "like". And if you're like me, you can get very good at condensing the process of assessment when you're figuring out who to crush on ("oh wow we're getting along as friends, he's objectively handsome, i wonder if he likes me and maybe i'll like him back!"...for example) so that this process is almost automatic and is not fueled by passion but by society telling you that if you're compatible then "go for it!" And then you start confusing your feelings for the guy with the happiness at fulfilling society's expectations.

Sorry if that's longwinded or confusing.

 

I think that it can push you towards interpreting any possible same-sex attractions as "just friendship" and overall keep you in denial of your internal feelings. I don't think it can change your core feelings; I think it can only tie tangled webs over your truth which makes it hard to discover.

 

yes i believe it can as someone living in Russia i was afraid of being openly gay because i was afraid of being seen as strange and abnormal, but then i discovered that it is not that way outside of my country in western Europe and america
for example i know people that have said they could never express themselves as gay because they were afraid of what society would do to them

 

I live in what I would call a Semi-Conservative society. Indeed I am afraid of the reactions if I ever come out in public yet it doesn't bother me at all what the society as a whole thinks.

It is however a lot of pressure, the homophobic jokes and stupidity of other people makes it look like you are in a death trap. That might influence someone that is questioning themselves. Particularly if that person is still inside the closet.